November Goals

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

This is the penultimate goals post of 2018! And then we get onto all that good New Years content looking back on my goals for last year and making goals for next year, but even though that’s not many ‘goals’ blog posts away, it is two months in real time away so like the forbidden ‘C’ word, I won’t mention it again!

This month I’m kind of having to make some important decisions – nothing too drastic, but I need to figure out what I want the next year of my life to look like and what I need to do to get there. But, that’s on a broader to do list – here are my goals for November.

[ N o v e m b e r   G o a l s ]

  • workout once a week (‘gym’/running) – I was in a decent routine of using the treadmill and rowing machine in my mum’s garage a few times a week and I’ve completely fallen out of that routine. I have started up a new dance class (two even, in one day!) and I think once a week on the treadmill, building up my stamina and maybe getting a bit better at running is a good routine to get into.
  • NaNoWriMo! I feel like I’ve mentioned it approximately a hundred million times, but NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and it’s a website that brings together a community of writers to scribble 50,000 words in 30 days. That’s 1667 words a day and quite the challenge. I think I’ve mentioned before that writing is a huge passion of mine – I started creative writing when I was 12 and before I went to uni, every single night I would sit and tap away at my computer in front of the TV in the living room. I wrote a full length novel when I was 16 in NaNoWriMo so I’m going to try and emulate that success this year. It’s going to be a challenge but I’m so determined.
  • Balance work and making content – This month I’ve been pretty rubbish at working. I’m so lucky that I can work so flexibly for my mum’s business but I haven’t been very good at actually making the time for it. I need to set myself a stricter routine and in the end I get paid more when I do more work so it’s win win all round really.
  • Shorter to do lists – one of the things I hate the most is that I write myself a huge long list of things to do, and when I do them all it feels fantastic but when at the end of the day I’m staring at a list I’ve ticked one thing off of it’s both demotivating and daunting so to combat this, I’m only letting myself write 5 point to do lists each day. Hopefully this will maximise productivity all round and maybe even give me some spare time but mostly just keep me a bit more sane.
  • Plan December and 2019 videos – in terms of my blog, I’m pretty confident that I can write two posts a week and know what I want to write about and what I want to make. My YouTube channel however, takes a little more work and planning. I’m thinking about potentially doing Vlogmas on my main channel (you heard it here first lads) and I want to think about what projects I take on in 2019. 2016 was the year of the monthly vlog, 2017 I got back into making weekly videos and 2018 I’ve been weekly vlogging and making sit down vlogs (two videos a week!) for most of the year. I need to figure out whether I want to continue weekly vlogging, whether I want to try something new or maybe change it all up completely. If you’ve got any Christmas video requests do let me know!!

I’m feeling a bit more focused at the moment, there are certain aspects I’m trying not to think about but it’s all one step at a time, that can be part of next months goals.

Hope you all had a lovely October and are enjoying the colder temperatures – I’m loving having all my jumpers and blankets out again!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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October photo diary

2018, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

I mean, we all know I’m a big fan of capturing memories, documenting things and taking photos, so is this post a surprise to anyone? Probably not!

I’ve always liked having printed photos – I’ve just finished an album of some of my uni photos and I’ve got a couple of other photo albums and scrapbooks on the go. I’ve recently started making the most of getting 50 free 6×4 from Snapfish each month and I love choosing which ones I want to print to capture my month.

So I thought I’d do a more digital scrapbook, photo album thing and make a little snapshot of my month so far! Not sure if this is something I’ll do regularly, because I’m really enjoying making physical photo albums and I don’t think a blog post of 50 photos to summarise my month will have the same long term impact (nor do I think anyone is really that interested) but for the moment, I’m sticking with it and this last week has been pretty manic so it’s a good time to share!

[ o c t o b e r ]

I actually really love Sainsburys TU clothing, but I can’t justifying buying any part of this outfit at the moment (though after payday is a different matter entirely)

the first crunchy leaves feet picture of the year!

I wasn’t joking when I said I got loads of photos printed – there’s 140+ in this batch

Sainsburys released these collectable Lego cards for children. My 22 year old boyfriend is obsessed and very disappointed that it’s now ended and he didn’t complete his collection!

Oops it fell into my basket? (I really like the sunlight in this photo)

and here, three thousand years late, the girl discovers Huji – the photo app that says you’re living in 1998

when the boy takes outfit photos and then asks you to take a photo of him

I love cooking so much – this is the stuffing mixture I make usually for putting inside roasted peppers, but recently we’ve been putting them in wraps and making enchiladas with them and it’s been a big success (would anyone care about a blog post recipe?)

a photo of my granddad 1954 (left) – he just looks like such a ladies man and this is why I love printed photos!

my boy and I on our way to London!

Nick was our housemate for two years and one of our best mates at uni for all three years, this was the first time we’d seen him since graduation in July – three months!

Huji returns 4 The Circle Final – hosts Alice Levine and Maya Jama on the right and all the contestants are on the sofa on the left but it’s not very clear in this photo

We got moved to the other side of the studio and for a while we had a much better view (until some rude boys pushed in front of us) but I love this photo of all the finalists!

the view from our hotel was actually really cute

Really felt my make-up – I often avoid looking at myself at any opportunity but I didn’t hate myself on this day lol

underground signs aesthetically make me happy

the Natural History Museum is actually stunning

my tol boy with real tol boiz

I’m now obsessed with Dinosaurs and skeletons are proper cool

I thought this photo was proper artsy when I took it but it was mostly so I could read about the dinosaurs

trying to be creative but I wasn’t quite tall enough for this cool granite stone wheel thing to be a cool background and the lighting was rubbish but STILL

Huji photos and lens flares? CUTE

weekly card game night with le fam (minus my sister, who’s at uni)

RIGHT let’s talk about this – we’re quite competitive so we’re keeping track of overarching scores and somehow I’m OVER SIX HUNDRED POINTS BEHIND? Raging m8

even more Autumn-y leafy feet photos

the amazing cupcakes I made for my sister’s birthday (I wrote an insta post all about them which you can see here!)

family squeeze themselves into a car for a long ass drive to Bournemouth

Le Birthday Girl!

my sister in her funky new coat / the outfit she would wear if she was the Doctor

family birthday dinner at TGI Fridays

the birthday hat

I FINALLY GOT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL TO WEAR THE BIRTHDAY HAT!

nobody gets left behind… (he did though, reluctantly)

the drive home was SO PRETTY and all the trees were full of Autumnal colours but I couldn’t properly pick it up on camera

and my phone is mostly full of very exciting screenshots like these! Where are my Arrowverse fans at?

‘I can’t share a post with 50 photos in, that’s too many!’ she thought, then not being able to cut her photos from 17 days to less than 30.

Ah well, who doesn’t love a long post every now and then! It’s a bit like scrolling through Instagram but it’s just me, bit vain. Maybe I take too many selfies, maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m getting better and taking family photos and documenting the everyday and I’m really happy with my mentality towards preserving memories – I’m going to have rooms full of photo albums and scrapbooks at this rate!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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falling in love with fashion | outfit

2018, fashion, fitness, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

Today’s a day for another rambly post about clothes and body image, yay! I feel like we’ve been on a journey with outfit posts – at first it was all about body image and how much I hate myself, then I got bored of being so negative in every outfit post I wrote and I started actually writing about fashion and I’m not going to lie, I’m really into outfit photos at the moment.

I really love this outfit
Long sleeved tee (ASOS) – Pinafore (old ASOS) – Coat (Primark) – Boots (Primark)

Not really an outfit photo, but a photo of me in an outfit so… Tee (ASOS) – Pinafore – Long sleeved top (Long Tall Sally)

And even the silly ones like this when I get an ASOS delivery and I put my new favourite jumper on top of my new favourite pyjamas

So I’m both getting better and not hating myself being on camera and my boyfriend is getting very good at taking outfit photos so it’s a win win all round.

However today’s photos were taken by my sister in her uni town of Bournemouth by the stunning Bournemouth beach and I wish it wasn’t as busy and I wasn’t so flustered because they’re lovely photos and I hope we can go get some more tomorrow.

But back to clothes and fashion – I’ve kind of come to terms with my size and I feel like I’m on top of eating more healthily and exercising more (doing more steps a day). So now that I’ve come to terms with it, I feel like I can try new things and I don’t mind people looking at me, because I’m not always assuming it’s about my weight and more about what I’ve chosen to wear!

I’m really enjoyed patterned trousers at the moment and these ones from New Look are my current favourites because they’re quite slim fit without being skinny and an elasticated waist! But it’s more than just wearing some funky trousers – trousers were always the centre of my issues with my weight because it all focused on my tummy. Jeans were too uncomfortable when I sat down (which at uni, was like basically all the time) and I felt like I couldn’t wear anything but leggings. I’ve lived in leggings for over a year and I think not feeling trapped by only having one option is a huge factor.

Also funky trousers that aren’t jeans are really in at the moment which makes it all much easier to buy them.

I’m finding a new way to present myself in what I wear – new ways to express myself and show parts of my personality that I normally only felt I could really present in my unnatural hair colours and I’m really enjoying this new sense of freedom and creativity I’m finding through clothes. Resisting buying a whole new wardrobe is getting increasingly difficult, if I’m being honest.

This outfit in particular is my perfect combination of comfy but looks like I’ve put in far more effort than I actually have. These trousers are my favourite at the moment, this ASOS denim jacket has been a staple of mine since I bought it before I went to New York in March (it’s been perfect through every season – works for layering in winter, is a good transitional jacket for Spring and Autumn and nice for evenings in Summer, I’m obsessed) and it brings together a lot of my outfits.

And can we talk about the fact I’m wearing a crop top? This 1996 top from H&M was 100% stolen (in idea, not physical item) from my gorgeous friend Liane because she put a picture of it on Instagram and my brain went ‘I was born in 1996. I need it’ then I searched it on the H&M website and suddenly I was getting the long sleeved top and this cropped top (for next summer) for less than a tenner? Because student discount and free delivery is my best friend.

But I’m wearing a crop top! And I felt okay in it! I wouldn’t say confidence is tip top of my list but I wasn’t self conscious about it and I wanted to take outfit photos in a crop top? You can see my lil tum poking out in some of these pictures! This is such a huge deal for me – a year ago, I was super self conscious, I was living in leggings and massively oversized t-shirts, sweaters and jumpers but now I’m somewhat comfortable wearing a crop top or a tee that’s actually a bit tighter around my stomach and I’m really pleased with this progress.

This isn’t to say I’m going to stop trying to lose weight, because I am but I’m taking the approach of getting healthier and losing weight is a consequence and I’m sure my confidence will only grow the healthier I get. Either way, I’m really happy with the mental and physical progress and I love this outfit a lot.

The fake Timberlands are mens Primark, if anyone was wondering. Though I’m sure they’re not.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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if only my boyfriend wanted to take nice pictures

seeing #TheCircleFinal live!

2018, career, lifestyle

Hello!

A rather exciting post today – I’ve not really spoken about it on social media (for some reason I felt like I wasn’t allowed to, though I’m not sure how true that is?) but I was invited to the live studio to watch The Circle Final and it was so incredibly surreal.

So grab a cuppa lads (it’s my new buzzword, apparently I can’t stop myself) because here’s a story all about how I got to watch the live studio show of the Circle Final.

So a little summary, for anyone who has no idea what The Circle is – it was a show on Channel 4 that, essentially, was all about popularity to win £50,000! It started with 8 contestants who were all in isolated flats, they made profiles (not all being completely honest) on a social media platform called the Circle and it was the only way they could communicate with each other. They then rate each other and the most popular players had the power to block other players and new players came in and there were lots of different ways that people were blocked and I thoroughly recommend watching it on All4 if you haven’t seen it already.

And I’m sure this is the question on everyone’s minds – how in god’s name did someone like me get invited to watch the live studio final of a Channel 4 show? WELL I love a bit of live tweeting and I got very into this show, so I was tweeting about it every single night. The Circle was sponsored by giffgaff and most nights they’d tweet me and we’d chat about the show. I don’t know why they noticed my tweets over anyone else’s but they did and just three days before the final (and before I filmed my favourite TV shows video – this Sophie had no idea what would happen to her) they offered me a ticket! I was cheeky and asked for a plus one so I could bring my boyfriend with me and somehow, is wasn’t a prank?

Then I had to do some sneaky cheeky planning – they gave me a rough idea of the area and where the event would be, as Channel 4 weren’t sending out the full details until the Monday) but having a quick look at trains, we wouldn’t have been able to get home until around 3am and that’s not my jam, y’know?

So the whole reason I started watching the show is because one of my best friends from uni and housemate for basically three years, Nick, is working on it as his first project in his new job and we wanted to support him. And then from episode 1 I was hooked. But Nick working on the show meant I could ask him what train station we would be going to, where the nearest hotels were and it was very convenient. I do feel like I was cheating a little bit but being spontaneous isn’t quite in me – I like planning and knowing what’s happening and being prepared so I needed to book trains and hotels so I asked Nick.

I can be spontaneous, but it depends what the spontaneity is and how much planning would usually go into it – I can manage an unplanned pub night and a live TV final three days in advance, but people who decide they’re going to go to Europe for the weekend on a Friday morning just makes my chest ache. It’s something I want to work on because I love the idea of being someone who goes to Europe for the weekend.

The journey itself wasn’t actually great – we had to get a bus to the train station because I live in the middle of nowhere and mum was at work and I thought getting on a bus at 2 and hanging round the shopping centre near the train station for a few hours would be fine because it would be better than getting a bus around school time but it just meant we were bored af for like nearly three hours and then we gave up and went to the train station early and we watched two trains go to Kings Cross on time and nice and early and then our train was delayed.

Sod’s law.

Then we got to London, got on the underground to Paddington, Paddington was confusing af and then our third train was delayed too and this is when I started getting really anxious. We weren’t going to have time to go to the hotel and check in or even to get food (which we hadn’t had any of since lunch) and I was worried about being late and there was a lot of nervous excitement.

It was fine – we got there in plenty of time, Nick came and found us in the queue and we got to catch up with him and everything was a-okay.

The building actually has a giant circle light on it, it’s insane.

So let’s get back to the fun bit!

We were told to be there for 8, even though the episode wouldn’t start on Channel 4 until 10 and we were doing in the meantime. We soon found out. Because that’s how time works.

At first, we were checked in – we had to sign a release form that basically said we didn’t mind being on camera and then we were given wristbands. I didn’t expect to get a gold VIP wristband but I definitely felt pretty swish. At this point we were offered free drinks and cloakroom facilities and then we sat in a lecture theatre for, like, over an hour, just waiting for something to happen. It was quite confusing. About 9.15pm we were taken over to the studio set and this is where the anxiety started to dissolve and it got really exciting.

From there, it was just standing – but the studio looked amazing, it was so exciting to be in a real TV studio having been around so many people at uni (three of which were working on the show) and to actually be part of a real life studio show was actually mental, I still can’t really believe it happened but getting into the studio was just the beginning.

More and more people filed in, then all the previously blocked players came in and sat down and presenters Alice Levine and Maya Jama started doing rehearsals and it was so surreal – I felt like I somewhat understood, the roles of the people in the studio, the presenters, the floor managers, all the mics and cameras and autocue’s and the countdowns, but so far from it because it was so professional and polished and way beyond anything I was capable of or had experienced before.

We started off stood by Alex’s girlfriend Millie and apparently you could see us in the background of the shot and then we were around Sian’s family and wow, Sian’s mum is actually the nicest human I’ve ever met. Then we were moved over to the other side of the room and for like 10 minutes we could actually see and then some other guys just moved in front of us but I think they were something to do with a Radio 1 DJ but still, bit rude.

The whole show was incredibly surreal – seeing the people that I’ve been watching on TV every day for three weeks, even though they’ve been in complete isolation from the outside world for the whole time and have no idea the impact the show has made and how much they mean to people. I was in awe and I felt like the most pathetic fangirl ever but it was just so exciting.

The end of the show was somewhat anticlimactic – the show ended and there wasn’t really a conclusion, we were just told to leave. I got some photos in front of the flats, then we collected our stuff from the cloakroom, wondered over towards our Premier Inn via the 24 hour Asda for the dinner we never had and checked in just before midnight, collapsing with incredibly painful knees from standing for so long, sleeping in my favourite kind of bed of all time and waking up to go for breakfast with Nick before a day at the Natural History museum.

Our mini Asda haul

To be honest, I’m surprised Alex won, I was rooting for Sian but not disappointed with the overall winner. Excited to see what they do with a potential second season!

And to think this was only the beginning of the week! It was amazing couple of days and I’m so grateful to giffgaff and Channel 4 for inviting me to the show.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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happiness = productivity?

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I feel like it’s a huge part of today’s society, everything is about productivity and getting stuff done – being successful is a measure of how regulated your sleep schedule is, how on top of your work out routine you are and how many things you got done that day.

It’s gotten to a point where if I’m not out of bed by 8am I struggle to feel motivated to do anything and I’m not sure how it got to this point because I’m pretty sure it used to be cool to sleep till the afternoon and not do uni or school work.

Personally I find it so much harder to be content and motivated when I know there’s a list building up of stuff that I’ve been writing down for a few days – there’s only so many times I can write ‘apply for a job’ before it becomes utterly soul destroying to actually do it.

I don’t know where the pressure is coming from, who I feel judged by or where this all began but I really hate that my productivity is directly equal to my happiness on a day to day basis and let’s be real, there’s no pressure from anyone or any kind of society, it’s just me beating myself up and I need to come up with some methods to stop… doing… that?

Step 1 – don’t be a dick. I mean, that’s generally good life advice but I need to stop telling myself I’m not good enough! Because it escalates very quickly from ‘I didn’t apply for a job today’ to ‘I have no skills and don’t deserve a job anyway’ and I’d like to think that’s not true.

But you know, step 1 is pretty difficult when it’s quite deeply ingrained in your brain. But what can I say, I’ve acknowledged the problem and I know roughly where to start. I think that’s progress?

Step 2 – figure out why I’m not productive and adapt my to do lists accordingly. But that’s not really addressing the problem of my productivity being related to my happiness.

Step 3 – it sounds too simple but just let it go. Let the list go, no pressure to do more than I’m capable of – work on relaxing even if I didn’t quite get everything done and enjoy an evening of not squeezing in more work and doing whatever it is I’m doing below average anyway.

Step 4 – I don’t even know anymore, I’m rambling for the sake of rambling.

It gets to this point in a blog post where sometimes I’ll doubt whether I really want to publish it – am I making a point or am I complaining about something that no one else really cares about? But I think it’s defying thoughts like that are important – this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while and I want to share!

I think there’s a lot of pressure in our generation on the internet that you’ve always got to be doing something, making something, working towards something and we all know that the internet can be a pretty toxic place. But defying these things that we’ve been conditioned to feel is the best way to combat it.

Today hasn’t been a productive day, but I had a really lovely afternoon working on my scrapbook and that doesn’t make how I spent my day any less valid.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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a diet and exercise update | unfitness

2018, fitness, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve done a couple of fitness posts and I’ve recently made a fairly big change in my approach to my diet and I thought I’d note it all down 1) to document it for my sake and 2) for anyone else who might have recently put on a lot of weight and had to start shopping plus sized that needs a bit of motivation.

[ e x e r c i s e ]

I’m actually kind of struggling with working out right now – my mum has a treadmill and a rowing machine in her garage and it’s kind of full of stuff waiting to go to a car boot and it’s a bit soul destroying and I didn’t want that kind of relationship with exercise. So I’m not pushing myself, but I do quite enjoy going for walks so I’ve been adapting my exercise by incorporating it into walks – taking a longer route to go do my errands, making sure to keep up with the pace of anyone I’m with rather than making them slow to me and maintain a consistent pace.

At the moment this is working for me, I’m working on upping my pace and considering maybe trying running but I think that is quite a way off yet. At the moment, with the stage of weight and fitness I’m at I think cardio exercise is enough and by the time I’m a bit fitter I might be able to afford a session or two with a personal trainer who can hopefully give me some advice on how to get that six pack.

Because obviously that’s the main goal.

(though I’d quite like a little arm muscle, just a tiny bicep y’know)

[ d i e t ]

This is where my biggest development is right now – last week I decided I needed to take a stand on it, I need to cut out snacking and train myself to feel satisfied with a smaller portion size because it’s got out of hand.

So, whilst that may all sound a bit severe it’s really not – I’m making sure I eat breakfast in the morning to get my metabolism going, I’m having a reasonably sized healthy lunch, no afternoon snacking (which is tough), a reasonably sized (mostly) healthy dinner and an evening treat less than 200 calories. And being a bit less strict at the weekends.

I tried tracking it on my FitBit app for a few days and it came in at about 1000 calories a day though I think it’s probably a bit more (but I gave up because it was really hard to input everything individually) but I’m not massively calorie counting – I’m aware of how many are in what I’m eating but I don’t really know how many I’m having in a day because I don’t want to be someone that adds them up. I’ve had a pretty unhealthy relationship with food before and I’m very aware of slipping back into those behaviours.

It’s working well for me at the moment – in the first week I lost 3 pounds and I’m hoping for the same kind of progress in the coming weeks. I think ‘dieting’ this way is going to work long term because it’s not cutting lots of things, reintroducing them and getting fat again, it’s adapting my life to be healthier and hopefully being a healthier person because of it.

But we all know what I’m like for getting over excited, blogging about something then falling off the bandwagon!

[ w h a t   n e x t ? ]

Going forward is all just a work in progress – continuing to work on my relationship with both diet and exercise, hopefully finding a fitness regime that really works for me and I enjoy it (which is something I’ve been working on for literally years) and hopefully stick with this not-diet because I really do think it’ll effect my health in the long run.

Everything is a work in progress, but that’s why we document isn’t it! To see that progress and not forget the steps we took along the way.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

previous fitness posts:
unfitness – starting a few steps back
unfitness – when the going gets tough, listen to your body

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my dream job | #asktheuniverse

2018, career, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’ve always been a big advocate of if you want something, ask for it because you never know who might have that contacts to help you get to where you want to be. That’s why I made a video in 2014 about my dream job (click here for foetus Sophie) and that’s why I love that ‘#asktheuniverse’ seems to have become a thing.

So why not write my own #asktheuniverse post, right?

I thought I’d write about three jobs which I would just love to do, because there are so many things that I’d get so excited about having the opportunity to do and I think I would be really good at, so here’s me asking the universe!

  • social media in live music – being on Insta stories every night of a tour, responding to fans on twitter, making short tour vlogs for each night for Facebook and YouTube  – it would be manic busy but it’s something I would absolutely love, travelling to new parts of the world and experiencing live music every night makes my heart race just thinking about it. This has essentially been my dream job since I was about 17 but I think it would be just so much fun and the creative energy would be insane.
  • creative digital media – this one’s a little vague but being able to combine copywriting, videography and photography online or on social media is something I’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing and for a certain brand or TV channel or right creative personality, I think it would be a super exciting and engaging career to build on.
  • writing books – I’ve been creative writing since I was 12 years old in 2008 and I kind of fell out of love with it when I went to uni because I just didn’t have the time to write creatively every night like I did when I was at home. As of recent I’ve got back into it and I’ve always been passionate about the story I wrote when I was 16 and I went to develop it and make it into a full series and work on a film adaptation! I just love the idea of working on a project that’s such a dear part of your heart and sharing that with an audience and having people write fanfiction about it – imagine having an audience that cared about your characters that much? I’m aiming for the next Harry Potter, obviously.
  • Overwatch: A Netflix series – I’m aware that the only video game I play and is Overwatch and I definitely can’t call myself a gamer but I love it so much. Mostly because, the company that makes the game, Blizzard, are just so thorough with their character creation – there’s currently 28 heroes (I think?) and they’ve all got in depth back stories and connections to each other and the overarching story is really interesting and ongoing and I think it could be an actually incredible series on Netflix but it would take a lot of prep, a lot of character mapping and a whole team to make potentially 28 characters come together. Imagine the season finale it would be so incredible and I’d love to be part of the creative writing process, even the filming, editing and promotions process. Fully involved yes please.

Or, I would like to be in Flash please. Because deep down, the performing arts part of me still loves the idea of being an actor but I have no training nor do I actually think I’d be very good at it. But I might be, who knows?

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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October Goals!

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

How another month has flown – I’ve only got two more of these posts to write in 2018 and oh my god that’s a scary way of looking at it!

October is looking to be a pretty quiet month – it’s getting considerably colder and the leaves are all starting to change colour on the trees, the nights are drawing in and I’m starting to feel all snuggly and cosy so let’s jump right in and have a ramble about the things I want to focus on this month shall we!

[ O C T O B E R   G O A L S ]

  • focus on balance – I want to make sure I spend an even amount of time on a variety of things rather than trying to squeeze doing a bit of everything every day – I want to make time to work for my mum, continue making content 4 times a week, job hunting consistently and doing other things that I want to do! Balance is definitely something I need to work on.
  • sort and decorate room, clear old office – this month I’m hoping to redecorate my room – paint a feature wall, repaint the other walls, get a new carpet and a new wardrobe but first I have to tidy and clear the contents of my room as it is currently and I need to clear the spare room I’m moving stuff into. And the spare room has all the stuff I left behind when I went to uni that I need to sort through and decide whether I’m keeping, donating or getting rid off. Overall, lots of household sorting and maybe some painting.
  • finish my scrapbook – I started my scrapbook in first year, took a three year break and worked on it a bit at the end of August/beginning of September but I’ve got a few more bits to put in and then I can just do a page when something happens or I have enough to put in it! It probably won’t take me more than an afternoon but I just want to get my scrapbook and my photo albums sorted this month.
  • try new recipes and continue eating well – for a whole week now I’ve been eating really well, I’ve been really strict with not snacking between meals and eating as healthily as I can being such a fussy eater but I want to try new meals! The way I’m doing this is by mostly letting my boyfriend and my mum choose things they like and trying new things that way, so if I find anything I’ll definitely share it on Instagram (linked below).
  • have evenings off – I spent an awful lot of my time beating myself up about not being productive enough and I so often convince myself ‘I’ll work in the evening while watching TV’ but the TV I’ve been watching at the moment has been so addictive that I haven’t been able to tear myself away from it. So I want to give myself the evenings to be properly relaxed and not feel pressured to do anything! That’s not to say I’m sacking off the things I’ve not done on my to do list, it’s a double edged sword – I want to be more productive during the days so I can have the evenings off, but if I don’t get everything done I want I need to give myself a break.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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Adjusting (Diary 2)

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

It’s been about a month since I did my first diary post and I feel like I’ve got more to say and document (as per) so I am going to do both of those things. It’s not so much a situational change but a mental attitude change and we all know I love a ramble so I think that’s what I’ll do today!

I guess the biggest thing is that I started learning to drive! At the beginning of September I had my first lesson and it was amazing! I enjoyed it so much I literally jumped around the kitchen because I loved driving so much. My instructor is so lovely and makes me feel really comfortable and because she’s so great, she’s incredibly booked up so I couldn’t get another lesson until the beginning of next month but I’ve booked a lesson a week until the beginning of November so I’m really focused on learning and I want to be able to drive in the next six months or so, which is exciting!

It all then snowballed quite fast – my granddad sold me his car and I can’t drive it yet but I now have a car which is quite fast considering I’ve had literally one lesson but it’s a long story and it’s situational (I’ve made a video on my YouTube channel if you’re interested in hearing all about it!). Long story short – I had a lesson, I bought a car and I passed my theory test last week so the driving journey is really kick starting and I’m so excited! I’m so surprised I’m not scared of it to be honest, I genuinely can’t wait to be able to drive.

I’d like to think that the driving development makes up for the lack of job development but there’s still a lot to say – I don’t have a job, I really lost momentum in applying because I’d applied for so many, I’d had so many rejection emails, no interviews and looking at my cover letter to tweak it for every job genuinely gave me headaches and made me want to burst into tears. It’s not even like I took a break I just couldn’t do it anymore.

But now I feel somewhat ready to start applying again – I’ve been helping my mum out by doing some jobs in the office and helping out her business so I’m learning again, working for a wage and earning some money, which is a nice feeling. I’m ready to start slowly applying for jobs again – rather than applying for seven in a day, I want to take it slower and make each application more meaningful and only apply for jobs that really make me excited rather than applying for literally everything.

I’m adjusting to life back at home – I’d always planned to move out again and have my own kind of career by about October but, to be honest, I’m quite warming to the idea of staying at home for a year and finishing learning to drive, learning about business from my mum and finding a role that really suits me.

So it’s taking time to adjust, but I think I am settling a little and I’m actually not hating it.

There’s no smooth segway between topics other than talking about how I’m completely changing the topic. So now to talk about diet and exercise!

I’ve written a couple of posts about exercise recently and I’m now not working out in the same way but I’m still working on it – as of this week, I’m focusing a lot on what I’m eating and training myself to not be as hungry and rely on food as I have been previously. I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in January and I’m using it as an incentive to lose some weight (though Christmas being between now and then is not going to work in my favour). I’m still exercising but not forcing myself to miserably walk on the treadmill three times a week – I’ve gone for going for focused walks walking at a higher pace than I’m comfortable with and I’m already noticing a positive effect on my mood in three days so I’m feeling more motivated to go back to the weights and cardio machines. I’m listening to my body a lot more and not pushing myself to do anything that doesn’t help me mentally (other than food, I’m being quite strict about that).

And I’m actually kind of enjoying it! Sure I’m hungry, but I’m planning my meals more, I’m trying new things, I’m cooking more, I had a really nice conversation with my dad about it yesterday and it was really lovely. I don’t want to diet, because I would either then spend the rest of my life on that diet or I’d yo-yo back up to where I am now and neither of those are good. I’m making sustainable changes by cutting out snacking and being aware of the kinds of food I’m eating and making certain types of food a treat.

But I would quite like to ban food adverts on TV because god it makes avoiding evening snacking really difficult. The other night, I could have eaten boxes of shortbread, a bucket of buttery pasta and at least three pizzas. But I didn’t, which is the important bit. I had grapes instead.

I think that’s enough for one diary post – my days have been pretty quiet recently, making content, working for mum, applying for jobs, nothing too exciting to report.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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learning to drive ‘late’

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve spent the last four to five years wanting to learn to drive – I turned 17 and was so excited about being on of the first of my friends to be old enough to learn to drive and I never got round to it. I wasn’t ready five years ago – I’d just flunked my AS levels and I needed to focus to be able to even have a chance of going to uni. And I did that, so I don’t regret not learning then.

But then I didn’t learn in first year, or second year, or during my my third year, and here I am beginning my first year not going back to education and I’m finally starting! I had my first lesson a few days before my birthday and just last week I passed my theory test (which was a miracle might I add).

Most people I know learnt to drive when they were 17. I’m now 22. I don’t regret it but I do feel like I’m getting to the party three hours after everyone else and they’re already drunk.

So I thought I’d talk about a few of the advantages and disadvantages, for anyone my age who’s not sure, for anyone who’s just turned 17 and is considering waiting or anyone in between and beyond!

Disadvantages:

  • I can’t drive yet lol
  • A lot of people will try to give you advice about learning, tips on how you should drive and how many times it took them to pass
  • Instructors are so used to teaching 17 year olds that sometimes they forget you’re not one (luckily my instructor is lovely, but a couple of people I know who’ve learnt later have said they had really patronising instructors)

Advantages:

  • I can afford it more – it’s situational obviously and my finances are either stable or rock bottom with no in between but I have been able to bulk book a bunch of lessons whereas when I was a teenager my parents wouldn’t pay for my lessons, so now I’m in a position where I can actually afford it
  • I have more time, I’m not at school six hours a day so I can have lessons when I may not have been able to before and, in theory, have lessons more frequently
  • Because of these things I will (potentially/hopefully) learn faster and have fewer lessons saving both time and money

Also I know loads of people who can accompany me as a learner in the car.

The conclusion I’m trying to make is, it doesn’t matter – if you feel like you missed the boat then that’s definitely not the case and it’s definitely a car not a boat. Everyone’s journey is so different and everyone learns things at different stages that are best for them – when I took my theory test there were genuinely people of all ages there. Learning to drive isn’t exclusive to teenagers – it’s one of the most freeing and valuable life skills so you learn and earn that license in your own time and when you are ready.

My original draft just ended with the words “have fun friends broom broom beep beep” and I think that’s a pretty solid ending.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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