my uncertain life right now (Diary 1)

2018, lifestyle, student, travel

Hello!

A couple of months ago I wrote a post all about how I was writing this blog for myself – how I didn’t really want to spend masses of time scheduling tweets or making promo for Instagram stories that I didn’t get much engagement on so I’d rather this blog was a little spot on the internet that I can scroll through in 50 years and look back on what was important to me when I was 21.

I don’t think I’m the right kind of person to get brand deals and really make a living from doing this, maybe writing in other capacities but not like this (not that I wouldn’t want to if the opportunity came along? I could get caught up in ‘if’s and ‘but’s for ages, but you get the gist).

So where I may have held off writing diary like blog posts in the past (‘because it doesn’t help anyone’ or ‘no one cares’) – I want to start documenting little capsules of my life! Here and now – 17th August 2018, these are the things I’m thinking, what makes me happy, what I’m worried about. I hope that’s okay.

Right this second, I’m sat in a Cafe Nero in Peterborough – my boyfriend is at his (hopefully) last driving lesson before he gets put forward for his test and I’m killing time until we get the bus home together later. I love working in cafes – for some reason, being out the house and in public makes me feel like I have to get work done but it doesn’t feel like a chore. It inspired me to write this post, to be honest.

This week was one of those busy but quiet weeks – the beginning of the week was a trial shift at a job that I had to turn down because my back is in really bad shape and standing for whole shifts would do more bad than good, then I was on a train back to Southampton for a job interview at the university I didn’t attend.

I think it went well – I’ve tried not to post too much about it online because I know for a fact that if everyone else is as nosy as me, people will be judging and keeping an eye on how the job hunt is going (that sounds malicious – I’m kinda nosy but because it’s exciting seeing where everyone’s going next!). But also I don’t want to post about it and then not get it because then people might ask me how it went and I’d have to say I didn’t get it. I’m waiting on an email or some form of contact today so I might update this post? I feel like I have to now!

It was a very quick one night stay in Southampton and by Tuesday evening we were home and continuing to watch CW’s Arrow Season 1 – we started watching Legends of Tomorrow with the fam and it was a bit confusing because I’ve watched Flash but I hadn’t seen Arrow or Supergirl so we decided to go right back to the beginning and watch them in order. I’m loving it so much – I’ve always been a massive fan of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (none of the TV shows ever grabbed me) but DC’s films never blew me away, DC TV however is edging it’s way to be equal to Marvel to be honest. Flash is my DC boy and Spider-Man is my Marvel boy, they could never be more than each other.

I take superheroes very seriously, I don’t know if you can tell!

The middle of this week has been very slow – I’ve had a lot of headaches and I can’t tell if they’re dehydration or stress but I’m already looking forward to a new week and a fresh start.

In the least melodramatic way, my life right now is very uncertain – I might get this job or that job (I’ve applied for too many to count at this point), I might be living at home for a while, should I start driving lessons? Will I be home for my birthday? Do I book to go down to Bournemouth for my sister’s birthday because I don’t know where I’ll be? I feel like I’m waiting on a lot of conditions before I can settled and plan properly and we all know that planning and knowing where I am and what I’m doing is my specialty – I feel a bit like I’m floating, so I’m very much looking forward to having my feet planted firmly on the ground again.

I’ve really enjoyed writing this – I might make it a more regular thing or keep it just to when I feel like something significant is worth documenting? Either way, I found it very therapeutic so I hope you enjoyed it too!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Advertisements

unfitness – starting a few steps back

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve blogged on a fair few occasions about ‘my fitness journey’ – posts like ‘I’ve started a new workout regime’, ‘I’m working out’, ‘I need to work out’ and so on and so on. Over the past year or so, having given up dancing after my second year at uni and even then, those dance training sessions were nowhere near as intense as when I was dancing before uni and my fitness levels and the amount of time I’ve spent exercising has gone down considerably over the last three years to basically nothing.

So now that I’m living with my mum for a bit, who has a treadmill in her garage, I’m doing 30 minutes walking on said treadmill and aiming for three times a week (two weeks in, going pretty well). And I’ve made a little highlight on my instagram that I’ve called ‘unfitness’ – I’ve been posting little rambles about my thoughts and feelings about working out when you’re (I’m) a larger lady, because whenever you look for ‘beginners’ workouts online or look for programs to follow and none of them cater for starting from literally nothing.

This whole idea actually came about from my rambles on Instagram – this is what I wrote after my first time on the treadmill:

To be honest, over the last year I’ve put on a lot of weight and not spent the time exercising that I have in the past, so consequently my fitness level is the lowest its ever been

That makes it harder to exercise but giving up just makes it worse – I’ve tried a bunch of different fitness programs and such this year and each one has proven how unfit I am, so it’s taking it back a step and finding what’s right for me

Right now, I’m walking for 30 minutes on a treadmill and in time I’ll be able to up that to a run but I’ve got to give myself that time

So from there, I started my highlight and continued to write about the progression I was making – I posted a couple of screenshots from my FitBit app about my heart rate and boomerangs of my feet on the treadmill (obviously) and my documenting my fitness had really begun!

My second post was a bit more difficult – I’d been thinking a lot whilst I was walking and this is what my second post was about:

Whilst walking this morning, I was thinking about how I got to this point where I’m so unfit that walking is exercise. Having moved home after finishing uni it felt natural to look into going back to dance classes but honestly? I’m embarrassed to go because I don’t think I could do it anymore.

It’s all a work in progress and it’s natural while I didn’t have the same dancing opportunities at uni and I was focusing on my degree that I’m not going to be in the same shape as I was when I was 18, but it’s still kind of disheartening.

And that’s not to say that what I’m doing right now isn’t right for me – is it right for me in what my body needs right now, I just miss dancing and feeling like an elephant that everyone’s laughing at

Got a little bit more personal! But I wasn’t going to let those negative thoughts stop me completely – a couple of days later I was back on the treadmill (7am seems to be the time for me to exercise, it works!) and these were my thoughts.

I’d posted a couple of screenshots regarding my heart rate and asked a couple of questions (to anyone who was willing to read all of my ramblings) about whether walking and cardio was enough to help my lose weight and then I wrote:

I’m documenting this partially for my benefit but partially because I know that at this point I wouldn’t feel comfortable going back to the gym for fear of judgement for not being fit enough and I don’t think it’s fair that people at different stages of their fitness journeys are being judged for it! If someone runs for an hour then does weight training or if someone walks on a treadmill for half an hour their training is valid and I feel like we don’t see enough of the latter! I don’t need to hide myself away because I’m a Size 18+ and my heart isn’t as good as other peoples.

I hope that’s okay.

And now, I don’t know how much I actually have to add! I have been on the treadmill since writing that last update and I don’t post anything because it was a busy day and I didn’t have the same free time to write what I was feeling up – this weekend I’m going to do my last of three sessions for the week and next week I’m going to step it up a bit to keep training and maintain that progress.

My hope is that one day I will be able to run (maybe I’ll sign up for a 5k or something?), maybe I’ll be toned and I’ll know what the weight machines at the gym will do and I hope to be supporting those who’s journey isn’t starting at the point that is ‘socially acceptable’! ‘Bikini body diets’ and ’30 day challenges’ just aren’t suited for everyone and I feel like every fitness journey deserves to be talked about and shared!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Dear YouTube, Fix the Subscribe Button

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve been watching YouTube videos and content creators for somewhere nearing ten years now and I have a lot of thoughts about how dumb some of the site changes have been, but here’s my biggest gripe and oh boy, plug in your seatbelts boys and girls because I have some opinions.

What is the point of a subscribe button, if the subscription feed doesn’t give you a list of all the videos from the channels you’ve subscribed too?

I get the point of algorithms – how is anyone going to find new content if there aren’t algorithms to figure out what you’ll really like? But save them for the home page! Or the suggested videos around a video when you’re watching.

subscription  (səbˈskrɪpʃ(ə)n/)  noun
an arrangement to receive something, typically a publication, regularly by paying in advance.
“make sure you get a copy every month by taking out a subscription”

 

The definition of subscription – sure, YouTube is slightly different in that it’s a free platform and maybe that’s where their loophole is, but if I subscribe to a channel and then don’t ‘receive’ that video in my subscription feed, it’s not a subscription at all?

‘Subscribe’ has just become a phrase to YouTube at this point – it’s doesn’t mean that a creators videos get sent to certain people, it’s all about the numbers and YouTube only appears to be paying attention to those with tens of millions of numbers to their channel.

That must be all it is to them! Surely it’s obvious? Why would anyone subscribe to a channel if what they actually wanted was for someone to guess what they want to watch?

There’s only so accurate that YouTube can be! For one, I don’t want an algorithm to try and tell me what I want to watch when what I want to watch it what I’ve subscribed to – it’s that simple! On my channel, I’m the only one making content but my boyfriend often watches videos on my channel and what he watches it completely and utterly different to what I watch. I don’t hate it, but I’m not subscribed for a reason.

But now YouTube thinks all I want to watch is vine compilations and gaming livestreams and that’s not the case. Not even a little bit.

I’m not sure what else there is to say – I think it would be really interesting if YouTube put out a survey and asked what people actually wanted from the sub feed, because I’d be legitimately surprised if the majority came out saying people want it how it is now.

And don’t even get my started on why social media news feeds aren’t chronological.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

August Mini Goals

2018, film, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

How July flew past – between trying to survive the heatwave and adjusting to life as a graduate, it’s been a bit of whirlwind. But let’s jump right in with reviewing my July goals.

[ J U L Y   G O A L S : R E V I E W ]

  1. Content – stick to the plan! I’m actually really proud of myself with this one, I’m feeling much more on top of this goal and I feel like I’m making stuff I’m actually really proud of!
  2. Portfolio – my portfolio on my blog is all done and ready for updating as and when I have something new to post (you can have a nosy here), my showreel was a much slower start but I knuckled down, made a list of everything I wanted to include, sourced all the footage and started cutting it down – so it’s not quite finished but it’s nearly there!
  3. Workout – I decided against making too much of an effort with this one because it was just too hot to workout and it wasn’t worth the hassle. But I have been making an effort to try and do lots of walking and just yesterday I started using my mum’s treadmill and I’m going to start working up from there – I did a whole rant on my Instagram stories which I saved to highlights (and I will write a full blog post on it soon!) if you want a sneak peak.
  4. Work experience – I was struggling a bit with this one because having finished my degree and in the midst of applying for career starting jobs, applying for work experience all felt a little backwards – I was unsure about what I wanted from each company I was looking into but I’ve done a bunch more research and sent a few emails off the other day.
  5. Applying for jobs – I actually, no joke, lost count of how many jobs I’ve applied for in the last couple of weeks. I lost my mojo a little bit at the end of June but by mid-July I’d pulled up my metaphorical socks and told myself I am worthy of a cool job in an industry I love, I just need to keep going to get there and that’s what I’ve done. Hopefully I’ll hear back from something soon but in the mean time, I will keep applying.

That was long, but let’s jump right into August!

[ A U G U S T   G O A L S : L O O K I N G   A H E A D ]

I wanted to shake things up a little this month – I felt like my goals had been basically the same for months I needed to adjust my focus a little bit.

  1. Write 15,000 words – in July I had a go at Camp NaNoWriMo and though I didn’t hit my target word goal, I did find the same kind of enjoyment out of writing that I used to when I was a teenager and I want to maintain that this month.
  2. Finish my passion project – I’ve had a video project for my YouTube channel on the backburner for a little while now and I’m determined to finish it this month. It’s a little out there but it’s something I really want to make and I can’t wait to share it!
  3. Focus on my Insta content / take more photos! I’ve been really enjoying Instagram at the moment and working on balancing a theme and pretty content with real life photos that match up to what I’m actually doing day in day out and I want to work on that even more. I want to take more photos and make my instagram the best it can be!
  4. Start budget tracking – I’ve not done any kind of budget tracking since I got my penultimate loan instalment in January but now I have no upcoming loans and I don’t have a lot of money, so I need to keep track of what I’m spending and where I’m spending it to make sure I have enough money to keep me going.
  5. Watch more films! I don’t necessarily mean go to the cinema more but there’s a lot of classic films that I haven’t seen, some because I know I won’t like them but a lot because I just never got round to seeing them! My mum has a pretty spectacular DVD collection (that I just databased and alphabetised) so I think we’re going to start working our way through that.

A little bit rambly this month, but I graduated in July so there’s been a fair bit of self-evaluation. I’m feeling productive and creative at the moment so hopefully that follows through!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

from outfit posts… to eSports?

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve been playing Overwatch for over a year now – it was my first video game and it’s really the only game I’ve played in that last year, to the extent I bought myself an XBox from CEX just to not have to share with my boyfriend’s account (though he is the entire reason I started playing at all).

So I’m pretty head first obsessed with Overwatch, at least playing it.

But as a lifestyle, sometimes fashion, mostly rambly blogger – why am I writing about video games, let alone eSports?

This isn’t me trying to say I’m qualified to, I’m just saying theres room to be both – my blog is a little summary of me, giving me a platform to ramble about whatever I want to ramble about and right now? The only thing I want to talk about is the first Overwatch League match I’ve properly watched and engaged with – the Inaugural Season Playoffs Grand Final, which sees Philadelphia Fusion take on London Spitfire for the first trophy of the Overwatch League.

My first thought is I wish I got involved earlier – I feel like how this is how people feel watching sports (I definitely didn’t get this excited about the world cup) but watching people play Overwatch on a professional level is so interesting. This game that doesn’t see outside of my living room and can feel pretty lonely, so seeing a sold out arena in New York broadcasting this match sudden puts the scale of this game into perspective.

I’d vaguely followed the Overwatch League in the past, watched some highlights but never watched a match live, let alone stayed up to watch one that started at midnight but that’s what I did with the League last night. I thought I didn’t know enough about the players because I didn’t know anything about any of them but you don’t have to.

Within a few minutes of watching the livestream in the lead up to the match starting around midnight, I was starting to get a feel for the players, who they played predominantly and it’s just so interesting to see how the professionals play – they’ve obviously been playing video games for far longer than I have but the game has only been out for two years, to see how refined these players are with these characters (some of which were released after the games initial release in 2016) is just so interesting.

So my Saturday morning has been spent catching on the matches that happened after I went to sleep last night and suddenly I’m really excited about watching future Overwatch matches. The end of the season probably isn’t the time to get into it but I’m genuinely looking forward to future matches.

Video games aren’t for everyone, but I think a lot of people would be taken by surprise in how much they enjoy playing a console game! It’s addictive and in the last year I’ve seen a lot of progress (and some two hundred odd levels…). I for one, am pretty sold on eSports now!

I know this is a bit different to what I usually write but I want my blog to be a little capsule of who I am and right now, on a Saturday morning I’m watching Overwatch League reruns.

Thank you for reading!

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

day in the life | photo diary

2018, lifestyle, photography, travel

Hello!

I’ve been really enjoying taking more photos this summer and trying to be more creative with it. So I thought I’d do a little day in the life photo diary! Now, not all of these photos are that creative or mind blowing – it’s just trying to summarise what a day in my life looks like. Some of the photos I’m really pleased with, some of them are just a showcase of what I’m doing. I hope you enjoy!

After getting out of bed and getting ready for the day, I like to set up on the swanky new breakfast bar in my mum’s kitchen and consult my bullet journal about what needs doing for the day

I was spent the morning with my dad, we went to a reservoir near us called Rutland Water as I hadn’t been for years and I wanted to go for a walk near the water!

I find water so calming and as soon as we arrived and saw this view through the trees out to the water I couldn’t wait to get closer – it’s just so picturesque

My wonderful boyfriend Lucas has been training for two years now to be the perfect blogger boyfriend and take photos of me in weird locations, but I love taking pictures of him just as much

There were loads of boats out on the water and it was a stunningly hot day – I imagine it was much cooler out there than it was walking around the shore!

We weren’t sure we were allowed around this area and we got some funny looks, but if you keep walking with purpose people don’t tend to question it!

After some more photos and walking back, we met my dad at this cafe near where we’d parked, definitely need to try something on the menu next time!

Next stop: Stamford High Street

We popped into town because I wanted to pick something up in Wilko and we needed some lunch – Subway seemed like a decent mix between fast food and a slightly healthier option (there’s salad in my sandwich and I had water, it’s better than McDonalds!)

Back in the car to head back home for the afternoon

I tried to get a little bit of work done on my laptop and Lucas settled next to me playing Pokemon – some of the music in that game is stunning, some of it becomes incessantly annoying the more it gets played… (maybe it was because I’d have loved to sack off the to do list and play Pokemon too)

But no time for Pokemon! This box has been sat waiting to be unpacked for a few days now and I want to start making everything feel less temporary one step at a time – my room is a work in progress at the moment!

I’ve been loving cooking at the moment and these stuffed peppers are my go to (and mum and Lucas love them too!) – it’s beef mince, bacon lardons, onion, chopped peppers, halved plum tomatoes, a jar of pizza sauce and a bit of seasoning. I’m literally obsessed with it!

After dinner, we played on the X-Box’s for a little bit – a new character was released in Overwatch and my sister, Lucas and I were very excited to play him for the first time

After a few games, I wanted to get a couple of last bits ticked off on my to do list so I moved back into the living room and watched on of the most awful, trashy wedding films I’ve ever seen whilst we tried to work

A couple of hours later, we headed up to bed. With the current heatwave, sleeping has been somewhat of a mission but with the fan up full blast, I did manage to fall asleep shortly after midnight

And that was my day! I actually really enjoyed making this and will definitely be looking into more creative ways to do little diaries like this in the future.

Thank you for reading!

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

I did not give permission for Mamma Mia 2 to make me so emotional

2018, film, lifestyle

Hello!

So, Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again came out on Friday – let’s jump in to a spoiler free, not at all critical review!

The casting was absolutely fantastic – from the trailers, we knew that the basic plot of the film was looking back on Donna (Meryl Streep) and her life when she met the three men that could be her daughter’s father. The actors who played young Donna, young Harry, young Bill and young Sam were just wonderful (and all four just drop dead gorgeous) – they all captured the fun, silly nature of the film and the likeness between them and the older versions of their characters is right on the nose.

The cast of the first Mamma Mia film was stellar and in this one it just gets better? I didn’t hold out high hopes of Cher’s part to be perfectly honest – I thought it was putting Cher in a film for the sake of Cher being in a film but she actually had a character, she had a purpose and she did play it quite well. All in all I was taken aback by this film and the performance of the cast is one of the main reasons for it.

Also, Julie Walters is one of my favourite humans of all time.

Obviously, Mamma Mia is a musical and the songs are a big part of it – I was worried they were just going to rehash some of the songs from the first film and call it a musical but I was surprised by the new numbers. It was some of Abba’s more obscure songs so the audience weren’t as happy clappy as perhaps in the first one but the songs they chose worked well, or if they did feel forced it was funny – opening with ‘When I Kissed the Teacher’ was this huge, completely unrealistic dance scene and it captured everything that Mamma Mia is. It’s ridiculous, huge dance sequences and ‘perfect vocals’ aren’t the focus, in any way shape or form, but it’s fun and silly and it makes you wish it was real.

Well, I wish I was in a dance sequence on a pier on a Greek Island, don’t know about everyone else.

I also think the inclusion of some of the songs from the first film was a really nice bridge between the ‘sequel’ part of the film and the previous instalment. It didn’t feel like recycling, it felt like a genuine connection. Yes, maybe Piers Brosnan shouldn’t be allowed to sing, but he’s trying and it’s somewhat endearing. ‘I have a dream’ and ‘The name of the game’ were really cleverly used in both films.

Can I just reiterate how wonderful Lily James and those three beautiful young men were?

And then, all of a sudden, at the end of the film, I was crying? Like a lot? It was a surprisingly emotional film! There isn’t anything that’s particularly sad and I don’t want to spoil the plot or anything but the end is very poignant and I imagine something that a lot of people will relate to – it definitely struck a chord with the people I went to see it with!

Overall, I didn’t go into this film expecting a lot – I thought it would be a jumped up sequel cashing in on the success of 10 years ago, but it was actually incredibly well done. I really enjoyed it, to the degree that I would pay to go see it again. I want to see it again, as soon as possible please!

So don’t forget your tissues if/when you see ‘Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again’ at the cinema!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

What I wore to graduation | outfit

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’ve mentioned it in pretty much every blog post, tweet and Instagram since it happened but I graduated last week! I only figured out what I was wearing to graduation less than a week before that and whilst I’m at a point of not liking my body a whole bunch and wanting to find something that I felt comfortable and looked good in was a challenge for me, I wanted to write a whole post about the beauty I found!

I wore this blue playsuit from New Look with what I’m referring to as a cape (that I adored). It was comfy, I felt badass and it was flattering, keeping the bits of my body I’m a little more insecure about more covered.

The sleeves were perfect in this summer heatwave were having – they weren’t so much sleeves as they were curtains for my upper arms and I loved them. They were so airy and light but completely eliminated any insecurities I have about my upper arms.

I wore a size 18 and I liked that it wasn’t clingy but if it was any bigger it would have been too baggy, particularly around the chest. It was just genuinely very comfortable, particularly in the searing heat that we’re experiencing in the UK at the moment.

As for shoes, I’m holding these gorgeous heels from Next (which seem to be no longer available in the grey I chose), the reason I didn’t wear them is because I had worn them to my boyfriend’s graduation the day before (the biggest mistake I possibly could have made) and gave myself a giant blister and bruises so I avoided wearing them for as long as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, they are very comfortable and if I’d been sensible about when I wore them I definitely could have worn them all day, my feet just aren’t build for heels and I don’t really need the height! I’m 5’10” and wear a size 8, if anyone’s interested!

The sandals I’m wearing here are my mum’s and she has no idea where they’re from, but they’re very comfortable and she let me keep them. Thanks mum!

I probably should have taken my FitBit Blaze off for the day but there were some crucial steps that I wasn’t prepared to miss! I was definitely going to make walking across that stage count. In terms of other jewellery, I picked up a necklace from Primark a couple of days before which was a small gold pendant with a moon and an ‘S’ on it and I wore some gold stud earrings, that was it!

I’m not a huge jewellery gal so if I hadn’t spotted them I wouldn’t have worn anything but they were lovely additions and haven’t turned my skin green which I’m actually somewhat surprised by.

Graduation was a really lovely day – having watched my boyfriend and so many friends graduate the day before and had an amazing night at the pub (and a very emotional goodbye to a housemate of basically three years) and then to have my own day and see everyone again and thank my lecturers was just lovely. Good luck to anyone else graduating this summer and congratulations if you already have!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Outside photos taken on my OnePlus 5T by my wonderful blogger boyfriend, photo in gowns taken on a Huawei P20 Pro by my sister.

I graduated… now what?

2018, lifestyle, student

Hello!

I wrote a post a bit like this back in June (Life after uni – what’s next?) but 1 – the point still stands and 2 – I’ve still got something to say, boy do I have more to add.

It’s completely natural to feel lost after uni – having been guided through education for 17 years, it suddenly all comes to a close and the education system thinks it’s taught me how to be a fully functioning adult! But it also things that maths theorems are important for daily life and how to pay taxes aren’t so I’m stood at the top of this ladder, weird hat that makes me look like a bird table and all, looking out to… nothing. And there’s a big drop below me.

Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone – a lot of people have jobs lined up and go straight into work and life. But that’s not to say those people worked harder or are better than me, or even luckier than me because they worked hard to be where they are, it just hasn’t worked out for me yet.

(It’s a weird post to write because I’m really proud of my friends that already have jobs and it’s definitely not luck – they’re all very deserving of their jobs, but that doesn’t mean i’m not good enough? It’s something I’m trying to figure out in my head so trying to write it and cover all basis is a bit of a challenge!)

Either way – I don’t have a job yet and that’s a little bit terrifying. However much I’d love to sack it all off and work on my blog and YouTube full time, it’s just not an option – it’s not what I want to do full time (I love it as a hobby) and it’s not a career option from a financial point of view.

So what now? Well the house contract in Southampton ran out so I’m back in my hometown with my mum for a while. My boyfriend found out he’s got a job on the day of his graduation so he’s got a summer of freelancing, an intensive driving course in September and then he’ll start by the end of September but he can work remotely so we might stay with mum for a bit longer and save to find somewhere to live.

And for the first time in our relationship he has a plan and I don’t, and I’m not a big fan.

I have a vague plan – I’ve got a little bit of freelance work and I’m going to do what I can to try and get some work experience over the summer (and continue applying for jobs) and save, maybe do an intensive driving course if I can afford it, mostly save for a flat and do some research into where we want to live. I’m maybe thinking that I don’t need to be as close to London as I thought and maybe I can get away with being closer to the South Coast, but still need to do a lot of research.

And all this is in the interim in waiting to get a job – I’m applying for as much as I can and trying to everything I can do better myself but it’s all very sketchy and not solid and it scares me – this is why I’m trying to keep myself busy (and wrote a whole blog post about it) because I have control over that.

So the conclusion of this whole ramble? I don’t know what’s happening and I’m trying my best, but people asking me what my plan is now is literally my least favourite question. But I don’t think that’s unusual for those who’ve recently graduated.

I’m sure I’ll write about it if and when I figure out more of a plan!

Thank you for reading!

Sophie xx

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

New Years Resolutions – Mid Year Review

2018, lifestyle, photography, student, travel

Hello!

Considering most of the blog posts I write and publish at the moments are goals related, whether it be monthly mini goals, summer goals, post-uni goals or anything else, it’s not a surprise that at the end of June I wanted to take a look back at my goals from the beginning of the year.

The fact we’re halfway through 2018 is still blowing my mind – I can’t believe it!

This one’s going to be a long one so get yourself a beverage and a snack, let’s just jump right in.

[ PERSONAL ]

  • Find a workout / healthy eating routine : I’d like to say it’s kind of a work in progress but I’m not sure it is. I’m trying my best but it’s something I’m really struggling with. I have lost a little bit of weight and I’m slowly figuring out the ways that work best for me but it’s not the ‘fitness journey’ I wanted. Essentially I’m nowhere near as fit as I want to be but there’s still another six months!
  • Eat three meals a day : I just don’t feel hungry first thing in the morning, I can’t bring myself to eat breakfast unless I’m really in the mood. And maybe this is just my brain being a bit dumb, but whilst I”m trying to loose weight I can’t get to grips with the notion of putting even more food in my body? Probably wrong, but part of the reason I’ve not made more of an effort to include breakfast in my routine!
  • Make a budgeting plan and stick to it : well, this went really well between January and April – my loan came in, I had a plan, it went well, good job me. April onwards however has been a different story – after I finished my degree I went a bit ‘reward spending’ mad. Then the fact that I don’t have a job and I was moving home and I didn’t know how long I’d have to make the money last freaked me out and I clearly my way of coping with that was spending money. I’m not good at money. Will be easier to budget when I have a job.
  • Make sure to stick to bullet journal : definitely going with this one right now! I literally don’t leave the house without it and everything I do gets written in this book, it’s helping me feel a bit more sane in the expanse of being an unemployed graduate.

[ UNIVERSITY / CAREER ]

  • Expand 3 year plan + research career goals : I’ve completely changed my three year plan – I realised it was just a progression that seemed to fit going into a career I didn’t actually want! All a work in progress but I just want to work at this point, so my much more short term plan is find a job.
  • Graduate with at least a 2:1 : when I made this goal I had my heart set on a first but I knew if I set the goal at a first and didn’t get one it would hurt more than not getting a first. And despite working my ass off for it, I just missed out on a first so I’m glad I had that forethought. But I am getting a very high 2:1 and I graduate in a few days!
  • Marketing work experience at Sky + grad scheme : this was part of my three year plan, I don’t really want to go into marketing – I’m creative, I need to make things, particularly making videos and taking photos which I don’t think I’d get from being in marketing (please do correct me if I’m wrong!), so kind of scrapping this goal. Though I do think Sky is a great company and I would like to work for them at some point!
  • Take every opportunity available : I kind of want to adapt this one – to making opportunities for myself. I had to turn down some amazing paid work in the Netherlands earlier this year because it would have meant sacrificing the quality of my FMP and it just wasn’t a sensible option. But I have made the opportunity to make my FMP something that’s relevant to my future and I’ve made some great contacts and friends with the people I’ve interviewed and it’s a project I’m so proud of I can’t describe it. So this year is for making opportunities.

[ CREATIVE ]

  • Maintain blog and YouTube more consistently : though I have criticised myself for not being consistent and not making the content I want to make at the right time, I’m making way more than I did in my previous year’s at university! I’ve really fallen back in love with both platforms and I spend far more time making content that I feel represents me than I have made in the past. In the case of this blog, it’s predominantly lists which I feel is a bit too representative of me!
  • Keep writing : I’ve been trying to do more creative writing this year and I wouldn’t say it’s gone particularly well. However there’s been a slight development in the first few days of July – I’m a big fan of the NaNoWriMo challenge and charity and whilst the main 30 day writing challenge is in November, they do other monthly challenges throughout the year called ‘Camp NaNoWriMo‘. I thought it would be a good idea for me to partake because it makes me dive head first into writing and I don’t have any plans for July – I don’t have a job or uni or anything, I wanted something to keep me focused and productive and so far it has! in 6 days I’ve written over 10,000 words of a silly little idea I had. It’s nothing that I’d ever try and publish or produce, it’s just a silly little personal project to get me back into it but I’m loving it so much. Maybe I’ll stop trying to get a job in social media and try and get a book deal instead but I’m way more on track with this goal than I was before.
  • Keep making new things : I’ve been a bit more experimental with my videos on YouTube than I was earlier in the year – I’m trying new things, taking more time and teaching myself more about post-production too. I’ve always loved making video content and that’s where I want to push myself creatively – blogging is more of a relaxing outlet for me, I love writing and I find writing a post comes quite easily so I’m happy with what I’m making for both platforms at the moment.
  • Take the most unconventional approach : I’m not sure what I meant by this back in January, I don’t know if I was trying to be a bit edgy or what. Either way, I’m giving it a go – it kind of worked out with my FMP video so maybe it’s something I need to incorporate in the rest of this year!

So a lot has changed in 6 months but that’s why I think it’s important to check in on long term goals! But I won’t ramble on anymore.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram