Hello in my first post as a 27 year old!

Looking back on my 26th year it was without a shadow of a doubt my most challenging year so far that I don’t want to dwell on anymore – I’m not necessarily in a better place, but I’m making progress, working closely with my therapist and looking after myself in a way I absolutely wasn’t this time last year. I’m realistically hopeful for good things in the next year of my life and I’m super focused on spending my time more intentionally.

Now I’m not saying that I know what I’m doing in any aspect of my life, but in the interest of catchy blog post titles – here are 27 things that I have learnt in 27 years and principles I intend to carry forward with me.

1. No one has their entire life together, despite what you see on social media or one aspect that seems to be going well, there’s always something you can’t see.
2. Exercise really does make you feel better, but it’s definitely easier to do when you find something you actually enjoy doing (and that doesn’t have to be at the gym).
3. Entitlement is a horrible trait – knowing the line between what you think you deserve and what you have earned is a skill worth learning. Work for what you truly want and consider whether you’re asking for something you earned or demanding something you haven’t.
4. Setting boundaries is crucial for your wellbeing.
5. Not wanting to sacrifice everything for the huge career goals we’ve been conditioned to have is okay – as I’ve got older I’ve realised having a stable home life with my husband is more important to me than working myself to the ground with my job. Don’t get me wrong, I still have career aspirations, but the huge ambitions of working in London and living a high paced life of constant work, socialising and hobbies is just not a life I could ever comfortably live and it’s okay not to want that anymore.
6. Go to the dentist. It’s horrible, no one likes the dentist, and I’m sure lots of us went to uni and decided as adults that we didn’t need to put ourselves through that – we do, go to the dentist.
7. Put money in savings whenever you can, because it’s way easier to spend than it is to save and you’ll be grateful when you need it.
8. Engage with the media and art you want to watch/read/look at when you want to watch/read/look at it – don’t want to watch Oscars films or read classics? Don’t! Someone on social media makes you feel icky? Unfollow or mute them! Life is too short to waste time on things you know you won’t like but on the flip side – that’s not an excuse not to try new things.
9. No one thinks about your flaws as much as you do – generally people don’t care how much you eat at a restaurant, whether your outfit is ‘the right vibes’ or whether you were 5 minutes early or 2 minutes late and if they are critical of those things? Maybe not people you want to be hanging out with anyway.
10. Making memories is super important, but often the best memories are the times you forget to get a picture. Don’t lose memories by staring down the lens of your phone.
11. Don’t get caught up in deadlines – getting married and having babies and buying houses and all that are bonuses to the life we get to life. Learn to be whole on your own and anything or anyone else is just an enhancement of what you already have.
12. Wear what you want to wear – dopamine dressing (or choosing clothes that bring you joy) is always going to be more satisfying than the feeling of ‘fitting in’ or not being judged. My style generally leans into ‘adult toddler’ or outrageously brightly patterned trousers and I love it.
13. Adult friendships are difficult because no one’s ever free at the same time, but don’t let the fact that someone hasn’t messaged you or arranged to meet up with you make you think they don’t care about you anymore. Friendship is a two way street sure, but I bet you haven’t messaged them either and often, they’ve got shit going on so message that friend, because it’ll almost certainly make their day to hear from you.
14. Push yourself within your limits – for me, I’m much more aware of how worn out my autism makes me, but sometimes it’s worth pushing through for social events that are going to wipe me out because I really enjoy them, even if I’m playing catch up with my energy levels for a week.
15. Being honest with the people in your life when you’re not feeling good is better than keeping up appearances for the sake of ‘not bringing the mood down’.
16. Anything any ad or blogger or tiktoker says about ‘the best ever diet and/or exercise routine’ is bullshit – every body is different and although it can be frustrating and slow, figuring out what works for your body takes trial and error and doesn’t necessarily mean cutting out carbs or spending three hours on a treadmill.
17. When you’re a teenager and you think of being in your late 20s means knowing everything and being a real adult? Not real. I don’t think anyone ever feels like a real adult.
18. Being an adult doesn’t mean you can’t have a large collection of stuffed animals. We have a three foot build a bear frog that we’ve just named Frebbie Prince Senior (Frebbie Prince Junior is the normal sized frog that lives on our sofa) (this one might be quite specific to me and my husband).
19. I wholeheartedly believe that meeting the right people comes when you stop looking for them. I gave up on finding a boyfriend then I started dating my now husband and as soon as I stopped desperately trying to make friends, I made some of the best friends I’ve ever had.
20. SLEEP IS SO IMPORTANT. Going to bed early is not lame. Prioritising good sleep is so cool. Good, restorative sleep (or lack thereof) has such a huge impact on so many aspects of your life. Maybe I sound like a granny but this is something I really need to work on (it is 10.44pm as I write this, it’s not going very well).
21. ‘Guilty pleasure’ is a stupid concept – if something brings you joy, why let/make yourself feel guilty for that enjoyment*? I unashamedly love the Australian children’s TV show Bluey because it is wholesome, it genuinely makes me laugh and it makes me mental health better. No guilt here! *Unless it’s illegal or immoral or something, that’s different.
22. Fresh air is wonderful. Whether it’s going for a walk, sitting in your garden or sticking your head out of a window, feeling a fresh breeze or the sun on your skin or rain in your hair is glorious.
23. Some people were only in your life because you went to school with them or worked with them or were in close proximity for an amount of time. No longer having them in your life isn’t a fault on anyone’s part – some friendships are just situational.
24. I genuinely believe everyone should read. Books are so broad – there are so many genres; fiction or non-fiction, self help, cook books, travel books, historical fiction, historical fact and so many more but beyond that, there’s so many more formats that make reading so much more accessible – paper books are always lovely, but a Kindle offers so much flexibility, there are so many ebook apps available, audiobooks are wonderful. Books are wonderful whether it’s for learning, escaping or growing and no matter the pace, no matter how long it takes to get from beginning to end, I think everyone should read.
25. Practising say yes or no different situations can be super hard, but it’s worth giving yourself a little nudge (if you’re not ready for a full push) every now and then – spontaneous trip to big Sainsburys? Yeah go on. Everyone’s going for drinks after work but you’d already planned a night in on the sofa with good snacks? Not this time for me. Do you want to come on an adventure with me? Yeah alright! Want to buy a ticket to this event? No, I actually don’t have a lot of cash at the moment. Situational, and can be really tough, but being able to communicate more confidently is life changing.
26. Therapy is great. Even if it’s just having an hour once a week/month/whenever to talk through what goes on in your head with an unbiased professional, I think the way therapy has helped me get to know and understand myself better is setting me up for a better future, however pretentious that sounds.
27. Just try your best. Some days you have the energy to go 110%, some days you barely have the 10. I love the metaphor ‘if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will always believe it’s stupid’ (quick Google reveals this to be an Einstein quote! Does that make me cultured?). Anyway – some days your a fish climbing a tree, some days your a fish in a swimming pool – do your best with what you’ve got each day.

Now if I can only follow and remember these points maybe 27 will have some good things in store for me!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx