July Mini Goals!

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

These posts are beginning to feel a bit repetitive as most of my goals are the same, but that’s probably a sign that I need to get my ass in gear and actually start ticking off some of these goals!

These posts are mostly for personal gain but if you’ve got any goals for the month let me know below!

JUNE GOALS REVIEW:

  1. Mental health: it’s a work in progress! I booked an appointment, went to the appointment, had a blood test and the results came back fine (I think?), now I’ve moved home I kind of have to start again but I got the ball rolling.
  2. Sort out my sleep schedule: Didn’t really happen, it’s been a weird month and I feel like I’ve slept okay but I’ve not been in control? It’s hard with no motive
  3. Finish my portfolio: Instagram portfolio, smashed it. Blog portfolio – untouched. Showreel – not even thought about. Really need to knuckle down with this!
  4. Keep job hunting: I mean, I have been job hunting but not as focused as before. I’ve had a lot of brain fog so writing a cover letter literally just feels like the worst idea, so mixed bag. LinkedIn has actually be really useful thought.
  5. Stay consistent with content: Complete (ish) fail – nowhere near as consistent as I wanted it to be but it was actually a really busy month, I lived on trains, I felt foggy and tired. It’s not an excuse, I could have done it but it would have been at the expense of making good content and at the expense of my mental and physical health. So, eh?

JULY GOALS:

  1. Content: Stick to the damn plan! Maybe I’m asking too much of myself which is why I’ve not been very good at this recently but I’m going to try and do my best to post two blog posts and two videos a week! Whilst I have literally zero commitment since finishing uni and not having a job yet, I should definitely be able to do it! For some reason I haven’t, so maybe this month I will.
  2. Portfolio: There’s no room for anymore excuses – I have all the difficult bit done, I just have to do the boring bit of putting each portfolio post on my website and then it’s done, then I can work on making it pretty and figuring out how WordPress works. I also want to make a showreel, but that one’s a bit more difficult and will take a lot longer so if I get it done, fab, if not, I want to make a longer term plan of the steps I need to make a showreel.
  3. Workout! I bought the BodyBoss workout program thing like multiple months ago and I’m yet to complete more than a week at a time. This was mostly due to the lack of space I had at my house in Southampton but now that I’m living with my mum who’s got lots of space and a lovely big garden (surrounded by bungalows that can’t look in!), so in July I want to finish the Bodyboss 4 week pre-workout program. Or at least, finish 4 weeks of it – I’m really unfit and I struggle so I might repeat a few weeks.
  4. Work experience: The biggest problem of the modern day graduate – “you need experience to get a job and you need a job to get experience”. Whilst I’m still working on getting a job, I want to get as much work experience in the field I want to go into which will hopefully make me more employable but also keep me busy and add to my portfolio! I want to make three inquiries this month.
  5. The dreaded J word: Who’s been talking about getting a job for approximately three months? Oh yeah, hi that’s me. But it’s still true. I would like a graduate job please. I just need to apply for as much as possible.

So that’s my plan for the month! I need to give myself a focus because I don’t have any work or uni commitments, but I’m also taking part in Camp NaNoWriMo and my family are doing a silly drawing challenge for fun as well as all the other things I want to do so maybe I’m overwhelming myself but we’ll see how it goes.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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My Relationship with Sport

2016

Hello!

This post is inspired by Hannah Witton’s video titled the same as this blog post so if you haven’t seen that, I thoroughly recommend watching it!

Let’s start with a bit of context – as a kid, I was really into and actually quite good at sport. Apart from long distance running, to this day I am still horrifically bad at that. In primary school I played tag rugby, football, netball, athletics, hockey, alongside dancing and performing outside of school. I was a skinny twig, I am so jealous of my past self.

As I went into secondary school, I stuck with the netball and athletics and I started dancing at school as well as four or five times a week at the new dance school I’d moved to. Until I was about 14 and I chose dance over other sports teams and that’s when I started getting fat. Doing only one type of physical exercise and mental health/comfort eating coming into play, often provoked by bad friendships and having access to the snack cupboard whenever I wanted it really didn’t help. I put on so much weight.

I always wish I was either someone who was naturally skinny without trying, like so many friends I know now, or that I’d kept up the sport and it was now something I didn’t have such a negative build on in my mind.

So what’s happening now? I went back to uni today and the dance season is starting up again so I’m going to taster sessions to learn the try out routine for try outs next weekend, I’m trying to get back into going to the gym and up my fitness levels, but I always say I’m trying to get back into it so I’m not saying I’ve succeeded yet… I’m still trying.

I’m currently the heaviest I’ve ever been which is in some ways a downward spiral to just get heavier because comfort eating but I’m working on it – I think I’ll do a post about my weight soon because it might help me, as well as anyone else who might read it.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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September? | Update Monday

2016

Hello,

The point of the Update Monday posts was to talk about my progress in rewriting my book and doing daily workout challenges. Except the book drew to a slow no-progress point at around 30,000 words and working out didn’t happen.

So what’s the point?

It’s not like I”m sitting around all day moping or doing nothing, I’m still doing stuff – I’m sticking to blogging three times a week, I’m planning YouTube videos for making content regularly again, I’m working with some friends on a short film, I’m helping Lucas make content for his channel and working a part-time job too.

Alongside going back to uni where I’ll be maintaining another blog, news day work and assignment work too, as well as joining a couple of societies and having a social life, I’m going to be a busy little be when October comes around.

So in terms of exercise, I know I need to get back to it for health reasons but the lack of motivation and the mental health problems are real strong. I think when I go back to uni I’ll go back to the gym (yes, I’m still paying for it) and make it a bit more of my routine, hopefully. I’ve got my fingers crossed. I might start doing some shorter workouts at home too, presuming I’ve got room in the flat.

Writing wise, I’m aiming to read more in the next couple of months and I’m hoping that’ll motivate me. So right now nothing’s happening, but I’ve definitely not given up on it yet.

I might try and continue Update Monday’s if I still have updates to make, I guess – if I have something to say or something I’ve done but Monday might just become another day on my blog. I hope that’s okay!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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Summer in the City Day 3! | Update Mondays

2016

Hello,

The fact I’ve merged these two posts together is down to the fact that I was so tired last night when I got back that I never got round to it. So I thought I’d do these two posts together to make up for it!

SitC Day 3 was shorter than I’d have liked it to be in an ideal world, but it worked out for the best in the end.

I waited to get in at 11, as I had the previous two days and when the doors opened, I wondered casually (as opposed to all the girls running and screaming) towards The Midnight Beast’s stand, to buy myself a t-shirt and one as a present for Lucas (because I’m a good girlfriend) and then, me and the friends I’d made wondered pretty aimlessly around until we decided we wanted to go and queue for the Short Film panel.

We went an hour and twenty minutes before the panel started, but we also were the first people in the queue and got to be front row so… totally worth it.

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The panel was hosted by Elliot Gough (far right) and featured a few of my very favourite YouTubers and filmmakers so I was really keen to hear what they had to say.

The thing with a lot of these panels as that you do end up hearing a lot of the same things – if you want to make it you just have to keep making things, churn out loads of content and keep practicing. At the end of the day, it’s all storytelling.

Sammy made a good analogy that getting into the industry was like climbing up the steps of a ladder and YouTube, in a way, is building a new ladder to climb up. And to further the analogy, it’s much harder to climb up the ladder when millions of people are trying to.

They reiterated that you need to be constantly making things and putting stuff out there, whether it be with writing or any skill. Hazel Hayes then said that showing promise can be more important than having loads of views or subscribers.

Short films can work as proof of concept or as a shorter form of an idea for a feature film, a series or a generally bigger idea and a lot of these filmmakers works was originally an idea for a feature film or something that they thought could possibly be continued but they wanted it to be rounded off and seem complete as well, so the YouTube audience wouldn’t be left feeling unfulfilled.

And in terms of management or getting funding, it’s best not to have a “baby” project. If you put so much into an idea that you’re then reluctant to let it go and don’t have any other ideas, it’s unlikely that anyone’s going to take you seriously so be working on a few things at once.

One thing I figured out whilst listening to that panel is that I’d really like to write something that’s very dialogue heavy – I really like writing dialogue and it would be nice to have that challenge and write about something that matters to me.

It was a really great panel and I’m glad it was the last thing I went to at SitC. After the panel, a bunch of us wondered around a little bit – having another look around the convention (like we didn’t know it inside out at this point!) and then went for lunch. And it was at this point that the others went to another panel and I went to the hotel to pick up my suitcase and get the train home.

I was absolutely shattered from the weekend and I didn’t want to be fighting with rush hour London on a journey home where I knew I’d be struggling to stay awake. I’m glad I left when I did because the underground journey was easy and there was a train at the station ready to leave in less than ten minutes when I arrived at Waterloo and I was home by 6, eating Chinese and watching Robot Wars by 8.

A lovely, relaxing evening to end an absolutely brilliant weekend.

And I suppose, I don’t want to ruin it really by saying I haven’t worked out or written a single word at all this week. I’m struggling with motivating myself and being able to think positively right now – depression is a difficult thing and it’s so hard to let myself fail when I’m so scared of failure but here I am, failing. Sorry.

Thank you for reading and I hope you’ve enjoyed my posts about Summer in the City,

Sophie xx

 

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Finding my productivity | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

August has been a much more productive month so far than July was – I keep forgetting that it’s only the 8th because it feels so much later in the month because I’ve done so much! I uploaded my May vlog at the end of July, June was uploaded yesterday and July will be uploaded before I go to London for Summer In The City. I don’t want to have any more backlog on these vlogs!

But these updates aren’t about editing vlogs, they’re about my writing and workout progress!

Writing started well at the beginning of the month, but as the week went on I found it more and more difficult to push through – I didn’t naturally want to write so it was really difficult to push through it.

I’m currently at 31,019 words. At this point, I ‘should’ be at 62,907 words or 41,631 words, it depends how I’ve recalculated it at this point but to finish on time, I have to write 2874 words which at this point is feeling someone achievable. Writing blogs definitely helps me feel more motivated but I’ve also been having a lot of headaches and not feeling very well recently, which doesn’t help!

I’m about to start Chapter 10 (I often write a whole chapter in one go and I don’t like leaving it in the middle of a chapter).

Again, there are a couple of high points that I’m excited to write but it’s the bits in between that are feeling like a bit of a drag right now. It doesn’t bode well for anyone reading them but hopefully I’ll push through!

It is looking more and more likely that I won’t hit 100,000 words by September first but I’m slowly coming to terms with that. Probably not a good attitude to take, I should feel motivated and inspired to get the words down on paper (virtual paper) so I can start the edit and actually do something with it but here we are. Not rushing too much!

In terms of workout, it’s a much brighter story! I worked out six days consecutively this week from the 1st to the 6th and I’ve really noticed some actual progress! There’s one stretch that I’m meant to use a resistance band for but I find that asking Lucas to help just pushes me a lot more than if I tried to do it by myself.

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So as a night point of reference, it’s more like 10 than 5, when 5 is what I’m meant to be doing every day.

Days 1 to 6 were really successful, but on Day 7, yesterday, Sunday, I went to Bournemouth to see my sister for the day and I let myself get really dehydrated and I felt kind of sick and it really wasn’t a very nice feeling and I went to sleep before midnight for the first time in literally weeks. I collapsed.

It works out quite well in my favour though because Day 8 is a rest day for the ab workout, so I’ll do day 7 for that, I’ll do day 7 and 8 for flexibility stuff because it isn’t as taxing as the ab stuff. I’m yet to do my workout today so I’ll let you know next week how that goes.

I’m hoping the second week of August will be as productive as the first, but I’m going to London on Thursday so I’ll be working out in a hotel room for a few days and then there’s trying to write around the YouTube convention but we’ll see how it goes. That’s the point of Update Monday – so I can see how it goes!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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August 1st | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

Today is another update day and also the first of a new month.

It was meant to be the day that I feedback on how my fitness July went and I started my second month of 50,000 words towards finishing my novel.

Neither of those were achieved, but today isn’t a completely negative post! Let’s start with the writing.

At present I’ve written 25,507 words and I’ve not done any writing today. If I’d stuck to the 1,617 words a day I would currently be on 51,616 words but to reach 100,000 by the end of August, I only need to write 2,481 words a day, which I think is achievable.

That’s in a world where I’m motivated and happy every day, I’m not sure how many words I’m going to get done today realistically but I’m trying to convince myself I can still do this.

I’m about to start rewriting Chapter 8 of 30, so considering I’m at a quarter of my word target and I’ve written more than I need to (in terms of reaching at least 3334 words per chapter – I did a lot of numbers planning) I’m not actually doing too bad.

I’m feeling okay – Chapter 4 was where the book really picked up as a crucial character was introduced but Chapters 7 and 8 are a bit more like filler chapters so whilst they’re still fun and contribute to the story arc of the whole novel, they’re a little bit more tedious to write.

Working out in July didn’t quite go to plan – I hit a rut and I really wasn’t in a place to save it and yesterday, I was actually quite looking forward to starting the month again and doing my best in terms of weight loss before my birthday but it’s not going very well. My head’s been a bad place today.

There still time for me to do Day 1 and I think I’ll do it while dinner’s in the oven and then Lucas and I are going to go Pokemon hunting tonight so that’ll be at least a 5km walk which is a good way to start and I’m thinking I might go to the gym tomorrow too. I’m trying to find little ways to motivate myself, but at present my anxiety about my sudden weight gain is festering in a desire to comfort eat and not incentive to lose the weight again.

I’ll be honest, I’m struggling right now but I’m still trying; I’m still fighting.

Thank you for reading, any motivational words would be greatly appreciated,

Sophie xx

 

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Back on track! | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

This always happens – I have a bad week, I mope about it and then I get my ass in gear.

Now this isn’t a complete 180 – I’ve made some decisions and still not been 100% in my goals and I’m still finding it really difficult to motivate myself but I’m working on it. I’m trying to prioritise my mental health over my debilitating fear of failing.

Also I’m writing this super late because I’ve been playing Pokemon Go pretty solidly for two days.

In terms of workout updates, it’s mostly a case of I’ve been to the gym once since last week’s blog post which is okay, I think – at least I went! And I’ve decided that rather than trying to maintain this challenge every few days, I’m going to start again in August and do it properly. I’m going to make myself have a more structured routine and I found that when I did the challenges on consecutive days I really noticed the difference and felt stronger because of it but it doesn’t have the same effect when done intermittently.

August begins a week today, so I’ll let you know how that’s going in terms of Day 1 (where I won’t be moving this month!) next Monday!

Writing is where the exciting news comes in – I’ve actually done a lot of writing! Am I going to hit 50k by this time next week? Probably not, but I’m a hell of a lot closer than I was a week ago.

I’ve written 15,054 words! (And I’ve not started writing tonight, I do most of my writing between midnight and 2am which isn’t healthy but gets the books rewritten). In terms of ‘if I’d written 1613 words everyday’, I should be hitting 40,325 words today so I’m not too close to that. But compared to the 2,382 words I’d written last week I’ve come on in leaps and bounds and I’m really proud of myself for pulling myself out of this rut.

I’m just about to start writing Chapter 5, so my sixth character has made her appearance and the plot is really starting to pick up the pace like a toddler who’s just learnt to walk.

I don’t know where the simile came from, I think I just really cheered myself up by actually putting in writing how much I’d done.

I’m feeling excited about the rest of the rewrite and almost excited about writing 35,000 words in the remaining six days but it’s a challenge I’m willing to accept – I’ll try my best because it will make August a hell of a lot easier! Writing 1613 words a day will be so easy.

Everything seemed a bit hopeless last week, but I’m getting there – next week should be even better. Fingers crossed!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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Difficult Week | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

The thought of writing this post actually makes me stomach turn a little bit because then I have to admit defeat. I’ve done practically nothing this week.

Last night I realised that I’ve actually been in a really bad headspace for a few days now – I don’t want to do anything, the thought of writing my book hurts my stomach, my heart and my head and working out makes me want to cry.

Here’s the update, though it’s mostly just justifying why I’m really rubbish.

I’m still on 2382 words and by this point, I should be hitting 29,034 words and the concept of catching up is becoming a bit of a distant dream. I’m still in chapter one, I’m still just introducing 5 of the 6 core characters in my book and I just can’t face writing any more.

I’m feeling a bit lost – this book is my everything, it’s my baby and I wish I wanted to write it but I’m just not feeling it. I’ve just not been feeling very well recently, both physically and mentally.

In terms of working out, I’ve actually been a little bit more productive than the writing but even then not much. Yesterday I did Day 9 of the workout and today is the 18th and I didn’t workout today because I wasn’t feeling it and it was really, really hot and we went for a super long walk (collecting Pokemon) so I’m justifying not working out when the whole point of the challenges I picked to do are daily-30-day-challenges!

I’m making myself feel even shittier and that’s not going to make me want to do anymore workouts.

Yesterday’s workout consisted of 45 sit ups, 30 crunches, 30 leg raises and a 35 second plank. During my 30 leg raises, Lucas thought I was dying because they kill my back and he joined in for the plank because he’s an ass/he was like ‘I can do a plank for so long’ and I’m like ‘I can do 35 seconds and I’ve done the rest of the workout so I’m more tired’ and it was weird. If he joined in with the rest of the workout it probably would have been more fun!

I’m trying not to push myself too hard because I know that probably won’t help when I’m feeling bad about not being more up to date anyway.

I had a little meltdown.

I’m not sure how much further ‘Update Monday’ will be going because I’ve not really got anything to update so far, but I’ll decide next week depending on how this week goes.

Sorry it’s been such a down post, hopefully I’ll feel better next week – I’m sticking to my Monday, Wednesday, Friday plan if nothing else! And I even got a surprise Sunday post in yesterday!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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Working out at a festival! | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

I’m making this Update Monday series a thing, not only to ‘document my progress’ in the most pretentious way possible but also to motivate me to actually have something to write about each week!

Hopefully it’ll get more productive as each week goes on. I’ll be honest, this week has been more productive than last week’s post was, but the progress is marginal I’m ashamed to admit.

In terms of writing – I actually started! I sat down and wrote about 1700 words and got to a point in chapter 1 where I felt happy with the introduction and I was ready to start expanding on the introduction of each character.

When I went to work at NASS last Thursday, I took stuff with me with intent to write more of the book in my down time at the end of each working day but to be honest? I really didn’t have any – a festival doesn’t ‘finish’ until the early hours of the morning and the crew and I were working or sleeping for most of the time we were there.

I’m in a position where I can definitely finish chapter 1 this week and what I did do when I wasn’t writing is that I finished my writing of the plan having finished rereading the book and I really loved the ending. Yes, I said it – I love the ending of my own book. Obviously not that I was surprised by the ending, I’m just surprised at how well 16-year-old Sophie managed to write it. But in the absence of writing, at least I finished planning!

I’m currently on 2,382 words, which actually sounds okay… until I reveal that I should be hitting 17,743 words today. But! (Another ‘but’ to try and redeem myself) I’ve not got another shift at work until a week on Thursday so once I’ve finished the writing for NASS that I have to send off this week, my whole days are going to be filling with a lot of writing and I’ve got a lot planned to try and be as creative as I can!

I really am falling in love with my characters again. One of the main reasons for wanting to redraft this book is that even after almost four years, it’s still my proudest achievement and the thought of seeing it published and cherished makes me so, so excited.

And think of the fanfiction it would be so wonderful.

In terms of working out, I feel like the ‘update’ on that is almost as disappoint as the ‘update’ on my not-starting-writing last week – I worked out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday of last week but I got on a coach to go get work experience at music fesitival NASS on Thursday and left behind all and every opportunity to work out.

Work experience was hard – it was long busy days and late nights and I was hoping to have room in my tent to do some stretches but it turns out the double air bed I bought only just fit in the tent. I barely had enough room for my bags let alone somewhere to do sit ups!

But (again) I was doing exercise in terms of carrying equipment and walking everywhere – so I’m just going to continue with Day 6 tomorrow. Day 6 consists of 35 sit ups, 15 crunches, 15 leg raises and a 25 second plank, an attempt at the splits and a hamstring stretch that I’ve nicknamed ‘the cuddly snuggle’.

(Essentially you lie on your bag and hug your straight legs to your chest)

I’m not noticing any progress as of yet – I feel more flexible but in terms of abs I’m feeling bigger than ever actually. I’ve noticeably gained weight in my arms, I feel a lot bigger in my tummy area and my legs feel flabby too. I’m trying to eat healthy and I feel like I’m trying to do as much exercise as possible so I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m just going to carry on and hope to see progress later!

I’m going to jump head first back into my workout and I’m making myself go back to the gym this week too – this workout stuff is not going to get the better of me and the money I spend on gym membership is not going to go to waste!

This part of the post has just made me feel really fat and bad for myself. Well that didn’t motivate me at all. Time to catch up on sleep, home work out tomorrow and first gym session in a while on Wednesday – trying to stay optimistic!

Thank you for reading – I hope you like Update Mondays!

Sophie xx

 

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Starting the challenge! | Update Monday

2016

Hello!

I wanted to start writing update posts, because in July I am doing a 30 Day Ab challenge and a couple of 30 day flexibility tasks alongside partaking in Camp NaNoWriMo to rewrite my book so I want to both be able to monitor my progress and maybe help inspire others!

In terms of my workout, I’m on Day 3 of my workout even though it’s the 4th. July 1st was the day I moved from university halls to a flat with my boyfriend and it was a long and stressful day. It was about 10pm when I really got time to actually do the workout and my boyfriend reminded me that July has 31 days and I’m doing a 30 day challenge. So in terms of the date I’m a day behind, but in terms of when I actually started I’m on time!

I’ve been taking photos of my ab area (as there are definitely no abs yet!) but I’m intending to save those for when there is a little bit more progress, hopefully it’ll be more obvious by the end of the month.

So far, I’m up to 25 sit ups, 10 crunches, 10 leg raises and a 15 second plank in the ab challenge.

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These are the two flexibility challenges I’m doing – The Stretch Project one is just a singular stretch every single day whilst the Journey To Splits one is slightly more challenging. You do the stretches from days 1 to 5 every single day, then from day 6 you do an additional sixth stretch. For example, on day 12, you would do stretches 1 to 5 plus 12. I like these stretching challenges, because I know that alongside getting me into the habit of doing a ‘home workout’ every day, it will get me more flexible for the next dance season and that makes me excited! I can’t wait to see the progress from these challenges.

The main drawback I’m noticing so far is that my knees are my main opponent – straightening my knees out at all it painful and then when you add a stretch it becomes mildly agonising. It is something I have noticed already becoming easier, but I know that if I maintain and continue these stretches into July, that my knees and the muscles in my legs will get stronger!

At least I hope they will.

The writing however is a different story entirely…

The beginning of the month has been busy – July 1st we were moving, July 2nd I had work and a birthday night out to go to (I’d paid money, I wasn’t going to waste it I’m afraid!), July 3rd was a down day and July 4th was another busy day of sorting stuff out in the flat. I’m hoping to have a big catch up session tonight, but I’m meant to have hit 6668 words today and currently I’m on 27 and those are words that I absentmindedly wrote a few months ago as a starting point!

I am taking this challenge seriously and I fully intend to catch up somehow – god knows how, but I’ll do it!

Next week, the workout challenges will continue to get more intense and I promise the book will be a few thousand words in by next Monday! Though I am going to work at a festival this weekend, so I’m not sure if I’ll be completely up to date.

One thing this update post thing is helping me do is motivate myself, as well as documenting my progress!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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