I’m taking a break from YouTube

2021, creativity, mental health

Hello,

Since I started my job back in January, I’ve managed to keep up blogging – I find words come naturally to me and I love typing away a couple of times a week (even if I don’t always post it), but I’ve managed to post three videos since the new year on my YouTube channel…

Thought I have continued to plan content – I’ve scheduled myself the task of making a video every week and sometimes I’ve even filmed, but when it comes to the weekend, the thought of editing and uploading feels like a waste of my precious non-working hours so I haven’t prioritised it.

Thinking about the content I made, what I want to make and what I watch, I just feel like I don’t have anything to say that’s worth sharing at the moment. I like talking about books but I’m not making the time to edit the videos, I’m thinking about getting into making covers again but they were never anything special, just something fun for me.

I have nothing valuable to contribute and that’s fine – I’ve got seven years of memories on that YouTube channel and I’m still pushing myself creatively with the editing I’m doing for work. I’ve been editing Reels, writing scripts, doing podcast interviews and editing the podcast too and I’m really enjoying it. I’m using my creative energy in a different way and when I think about it all incredibly pretentiously, I think that’s why I started my channel in the first place – to be able to use my skills in a working environment; now I’m getting paid for it!

I love the vlogs I’ve uploaded and soon I’m sure I’ll treasure watching them back (it’s too recent for me to feel nostalgic about it yet!) – I might carry on making vlogs in the future, I’m making another ‘One Second Everyday’ video this year so I’ll definitely upload that, but I want to be more selective; remembering to film is surprisingly difficult and it means I don’t feel as present in the moment of whatever I’m doing. I want vlogging to be capturing memories rather than making me feel like I’m not living my own life (though that sounds way more dramatic than I intended).

I’m not a YouTuber; I’m not an influencer; people don’t value my opinion on anything and I don’t have anything insightful about skincare, beauty or fashion to share; I don’t have any great opinions on books and I’m not a comedian. I’m just a girl who likes making videos and music and writing stories. I like making things, but YouTube isn’t the platform for me right now.

I massively addressed my relationship with social media about three years ago and noticeably stopped tweeting and Instagram story-ing my every last feeling (often the negative ones) and now I just don’t feel the need to share publicly as much – the people I care about and that I know care about me get the pictures I take privately. If there’s something worth sharing I’ll put it on my stories but I really don’t share as much as I used to and I think that’s healthy for me.

Stepping back from YouTube seems to be the next logical step. I’m not saying I’m ‘quitting’ and deleting my channel and being all dramatic about it – I love a project and I’d love to work on something more long form or planned in the future, like a series or a mini-documentary or something, but right now I don’t have the time and it’s not a priority, and that’s fine.

I’ve had a lot of fun on YouTube – if it weren’t for starting my channel with Vlogmas in 2013 I wouldn’t have realised I wanted to study multimedia journalism and I wouldn’t have gone to Solent or met my now-fiancĂ© or any of the steps that have let me to the life I have now, which despite all it’s challenges I’m actually pretty fond of!

I’ve done some cool things…

And everything in between! This channel has seen me from cautious 17 year old through three degrees and I’ve just moved into a house that feels far too grown up with the love of my life (I know, we’re disgusting) and I’m actually kind of grown up and self sufficient.

It feels a long way back to look at 17, but so much of my best times are on my YouTube channel and whilst it’s hard to look back at some of it, there is so much happiness immortalised there. I’d like to keep it as more of a scrapbook than a diary.

Thank you if you’ve ever watched one of my YouTube videos – although the views meant something to me, they never had any real impact on anything other than my ego so the fact anyone spent time watching what I created means the world.

And thank you for reading – I’ve not lost momentum with blogging yet, but who knows where the future can take us! I’ll still be sharing my words for a while to come yet.

Sophie xx

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blogging vs youtube | creativity crisis #2

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello,

Having been running my YouTube channel for nearly 4 years and in September, I will have had my blog for three years. In that time, maintaining both platforms has been somewhat of a challenge – to have them compliment each other without stepping on each others toes or overlapping isn’t easy.

But recently, I feel like I see YouTubers who started at the same time as I did sky rocketing into hundreds and thousands and millions of subscribers and I just don’t know if bloggers are getting the same hits? Or maybe it’s just my blog?

In the first two years of my YouTube channel I steadily built a following of nearly 600 subscribers, it’s diminished a little bit recently but in my nearly three years of blogging I find I have a much more consistent audience on YouTube. Is YouTube where I should be putting my focus? To my understanding (and from what I see on social media) people seem infinitely more interested in video content than blog posts, articles and words. It’s easy to watch a video but reading takes that little bit more concentration so if I want to pour my heart and soul into one of my platforms surely I should make it the one that’s more likely to be more successful?

Is YouTube more influential than a blog? Does it matter? If I like making both forms of content should I just carry on doing both? Or do I sacrifice one to put all of my heart into the other?

This is literally the entire point of the ‘creativity crisis’ series – so that I can have a ramble about things that stress me out sometimes.

I really love YouTube and I really love my blog, for a very different set of reasons – but it’s so disheartening when I work so hard and put so much of myself out online to be put to shame by those who spend more time putting repetitive flatlays with open lipsticks and fake flowers lying on a rug on Instagram (I refer you to creativity crisis #1: social media).

Maybe I do need to focus more on social media, or maybe I need to make more of an effort to post content more regularly, or maybe I take a step back and work on writing, filming and editing what I feel truly expresses my creativity.

The conclusion to all of these creativity crisis rants I feel is going to be I just need to stop freaking out and make what I want and whilst everyone can say ‘it doesn’t matter about views’ or ‘it doesn’t matter about subscribers and followers’, it’s also hard not to notice when you’re so invested in what you make and you want it to do well and you want to show it off to the world so it can be stuck on the metaphorical fridge.

That took a different turn to what I was expecting, but what I mean is that I love YouTube and I love making videos and I love editing but I also love writing with all of my heart. I love how I could make a video and a blog post about the same topic and it would take such different turns and be presented in such different ways and to such different communities and I think that’s what I like about being a blogger and a YouTuber – that I can try and bring those communities together.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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