the drafts I never published

2020

Hello!

As a creator, there’s always drafts – moments of inspiration where you write a tweet, make a tiktok, take a picture or even note a blog post idea and it just never gets published, whether it’s because it’s something that was therapeutic to write but doesn’t need to be shared, it’s not as good an idea as originally thought or it was just never finished.

So I thought I’d share some of the draft blog posts I’ve not published just to give you a little insight into what random ideas I have and what never comes to fruition!

Up first we have ‘it’s in the loft’ – a 700 word ramble about a project I did in my religious education class when I was 13 where I made a Nazi symbol out of clay and dripped red paint on it to symbolise blood as a memorial of the second world war. I was, and still am, really proud of this project – I got top marks for it, my mum and I had a great time making it and I discovered my love of writing pretentious bullshit about symbolism; the grass symbolised new growth, the little clay Jewish stars symbolised the life that was lost etc etc.

And then I thought maybe publishing online that I made a swastika out of clay when I was 13 probably wasn’t something I should put online forever. I’m now technically still doing that but I stand by that publishing a whole blog post about it probably wasn’t the best idea so in my drafts it remains!

Next, was an outfit post about living out of a suitcase for a month – in 2019 there was a whole debacle about moving 100 miles away (we paid the deposit on a flat that wasn’t going to be ready by our agreed move in date and they messed us around for a month and we moved somewhere else) so I had a very limited wardrobe for a while so I wrote about it.

I wrote about an outfit that I still really love of a black and white spotted midi skirt and a red crop top, both from New Look, with my leather jacket from ASOS and even know with my Dr Martens I feel like a boss when I wear this outfit, but apparently I just didn’t feel the vibes of the post. I think I struggled getting pictures of the outfit on my own, living in a friends flat when so much was going on. But I really love the outfit and I wear it a lot.

(basically this but with a red t-shirt, I’m sure you can picture it)

My next abandoned draft blog post was a ‘Day In the Life of an MSc Student’ – I wrote about half of it and the rest was notes about my schedule for the day, but I remember getting halfway through and wondering if anyone would really care. It was a fairly specific diary of the classes I was attending, but a ‘day in the life of a student’ is go to uni, do classes, go home and I felt a bit silly pretending my day was anything special. Good decision to park this one I think.

Onto ‘How Meal Planning Will Change Your Life’ – I knew from the off that pretending that meal planning would change anyone’s life was a ridiculous claim. I’ve been meal planning for five years now and I kind of don’t understand how anyone gets through a week without knowing what they’re going to eat (I think that I think about food too much). It was another post when I realised that I wasn’t saying anything original or special – my meal planning habit is nothing special so another blog post abandoned!

Not all of my draft blog posts are abandoned posts, some are works in progress that I will write out fully when I have enough substance for it – next in my draft list is ‘self care tips for when getting out of bed is hard’. Like I’ve mentioned regularly (sorry), the last three months my mental health has turned in a way I’ve never experienced before, so this post is as much for me as it is for anyone else, but I’m slowly building up tips and tricks for the worst days when everything is hard. I think this one will be up soonish!

The next post was a ramble when I was a bit cross – ‘you’re on holiday; stop calling it a ‘staycation” – in the height of the pandemic, so many were sacrificing their international holidays for a British holiday and calling it a staycation which I hate. As someone who’s entire childhood was spent on UK holidays, I often felt bad at school when everyone talked about their holidays to Spanish beaches and resorts in Turkey and Greece. So calling it a ‘staycation’ as if it wasn’t enough to be a proper ‘holiday’ made me really cross and feels so elitist. But it was too negative to actually share – it had the same impact in a tweet.

I wrote ‘working with my mental health, not fighting against it’ in full and I don’t know why I didn’t publish it really, I think I may have forgotten to make it live. I might re-read it properly and publish it soonish if it’s still relevant, but I am doing a bit better in terms of my anxiety so I might save it for when I feel a bit better and feel like I know what I’m writing actually works.

And the last post in my drafts is another sad rant – I was feeling bad about myself so I wrote a whole post about how painfully average I am, but it definitely didn’t need to be published; I was just complaining and even though I said I wasn’t doing it for attention, there was no other reason to post it.

It’s funny looking back on what I’ve not deleted and what’s still sitting in drafts, but it’s also an insight for anyone who doesn’t have a blog as to how much writing goes on behind the scenes! I found out today that a fiction short story I wrote three years ago has had over 1000 views just this year so it’s strange what people find!

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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newcomer | creative writing

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

It had been a few days since she arrived and things had settled down a lot – she’d integrated well with the group and we were all going back to the work we’d done before her arrival without her really getting involved, so she wouldn’t find out about anything we hadn’t told her.

I can’t pretend that my main observation about her so far isn’t that she’s absolutely gorgeous and in an apocalyptic world where showers are sparse, that’s not always easy to find. I won’t lie – she appears to tick all my boxes, at least at face value, but I don’t know her and we don’t have time for anything like that right now; we have other priorities.

So basically, ignore it. Please.

“Do you read much then?” I asked. Jinx spun quickly to face me, her fists poised for a fight and the book she held aimed to damage.

After her immediate rush to combat and the consequent jump when she realised it was only me, she caught the book a fraction of a second later than it left her grip and put one hand over her chest, as if to steady her surprised heart.

Not that I’d tried to make her jump or anything.

“Jesus, Jack – you scared the living daylights out of me.” She breathed.

“Ooh, I’ve not been referred to as the Sun of the All-Mighty before. ‘Jesus Jack’ has a nice ring to it doesn’t it!” I teased. “So, reading?” I grabbed a book from the shelf and waved it around, reiterating my question.

“Yes, I like to read. Most people like to learn things that way and educate themselves.”

“Dickens or Brontë?”

“What?”

“Dickens or Brontë? Simple enough question.” I shrugged, I couldn’t help the teasing smile I wore – her reaction when I jump-scared her was priceless.

“Which Brontë?” She asked, returning the sarcasm.

“Take your pick!” I gestured my arms wide at the books we were surrounded by – how many Brontë books had seen their time inside these walls was astounding.

“Charlotte Brontë, easy.”

“What? No way! Oliver Twist is one of the best books in all of history.”

“No way, Jane Eyre is the book for women’s independency. It’s the first book I read on my own, it’s my favourite book of all time ever and you will not spoil that.” Jinx stood, putting her book back on the shelf and walking away. I think she was sulking.

Of course I had to follow.

“So what’s your second favourite book?” I asked trivially, partially because I think it was annoying her and partially because I didn’t want to stop talking to her.

“I don’t have one – I don’t rank books meticulously. What’s your favourite book?” She smirked, slinking round the corner and down another aisle of books.

She sounded really fed up of me but she asked me the question to continue the conversation, so I followed her.

“I don’t like to choose – the other books might get sad.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are, Sir!” She put her hands on her cheeks in fake surprise, the sarcasm dripping from her every word.

“I like reading but it’s not as fun when you can remember every word of every book you’ve ever read and listened to, it does take the fun out of it a little bit.” I shrugged.

“Oh you’re the one with the memory. I figured I’d meet someone with a Hyper High Functioning Memory in whatever you want to call this world we have left. Zed’s the one with the incomparable brain power, you’re the memory, Neg’s the war veteran slash bomb psychopath, Chang’s the historian and XP’s the Future Generation and a bit of a game nerd – sound about right?”

“A bit generic to label us like that. But, essentially, yes.” I shrugged.

“So what does that make me?” She asked, that all too familiar smirk making its return.

“Right now, you’re a question mark. We’re still trying to figure you out.” I narrowed my eyes slightly, as if I was trying to figure her out visually but she just turned around again and continued to peruse the books.


Hello!

I’m actually unreasonably excited for this piece of creative writing because this is actually an excerpt of the third draft of the book I first wrote in 2012 when I was 16! I hope it makes even just a little bit of sense as an individual excerpt but also doesn’t give too much away from the book that I can only dream I will hold in hardback one day.

As I’ve said in previous creative writing posts, I’m really struggling to find time and motivation to write creatively – everything in my life feels like I’m just saying ‘everything will settle down after XYZ’ over and over again – it’s after Glastonbury (long story short my friends have all got work experience there and I have not and it hurts and they’re back on Monday), then after NASS, then after we move, then after my job at home, then after my mum’s visited and I know even more things will crop up, I just don’t know how to organise my life to include time to write and work on the book I love so dearly without sacrificing my blog or YouTube channel or work or anything else.

God forbid I have to make time for uni as well! (That’s not till late September)

But for now, I want to share an excerpt of my baby, the thing I’ve loved and cherished for five years – I want to put it into the world.

I’m going to stop doing creative writing posts on my blog I think, maybe encourage myself to write creatively outside of the internet instead.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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