you know what? I feel like me! | outfit

2019, fashion

Hello!

Like most women, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of an emotional journey with the relationship I have with my body – but this last year has seen some real highs and lows.

I’ve not really taken my weight loss that seriously for a few months now – I was exercising then I got hot, then I got stressed so worrying about what I was eating wasn’t something I had enough mental energy to prioritise so right now, I have no idea what I weigh or anything.

But you know what? Sometimes I catch myself in a mirror or a reflection and I feel more like me than I’ve felt in a very long time. Maybe I’m stress losing weight but god knows I’ve been stress eating to no end, either way – I’ve got to a point where I don’t actually care. I like my clothes, I don’t hate how I look on them and I’m enjoying my afternoon ice cream more than ever!

It doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop trying to make healthier choices – I still want to lose weight and inevitably I want to be thinner and stronger but I’m also not too bothered if I stay how I am now (especially with winter and jumper season coming back in sooner rather than later!).

It’s a weird feeling because I know that it probably won’t last and I’ll be doing everything I can to loose weight again soon but sometimes you just have to make the most of the feeling in the moment! And this outfit made me feel good so I thought I’d share.

The jeans are from my mum’s wardrobe because I can’t afford to replace mine at the moment, the shirt is from New look last year and the cardigan is also from my mum’s wardrobe because I wanted a thin cardigan and she never wears it. All in all, a half hearted outfit post because apparently I just dress from my mum’s wardrobe (sorry mum!) but I still really enjoy this outfit!

In the next month or so my boyfriend and I will be moving to start the next chapter of our lives together (that sounds much more melodramatic than it actually is) – I’ve been slowly decluttering my clothes for the best part of two years, slowly refining and figuring out what I want from my clothes and I’m really excited to have a little more expendable income to start building up on some more staple items. I’m really feeling like I need a floaty dress and a fun skirt in my wardrobe!

Fashion is so much fun and it so often gets paired with body positivity because so much of mainstream media can’t help but only include a certain type of person in any kind of clothes. Body positivity is so much more than the clothes we do or don’t wear – it’s how we feel when we’re standing looking in the mirror before we get in the shower, it’s how we feel when we see group pictures that we’re in, it’s how we feel about ourselves.

There’s a long way to go with body positivity in the media and there’s a long way to go with my personal journey with body positivity but we’re getting there and I like my stripy shirt!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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one month since I shaved my head

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

July 23rd marks one calendar month since I braved the shave for Macmillan Cancer Support – one month since two of my cousins and my sister took to my hair with scissors and an electric razor and I watched all of my hair (surprisingly grey) rain down around me.

A month later, I’m mostly surprised by how quickly it’s growing back – it’s very nearly at a length where it has direction and hopefully soon I’ll get to start playing around with a fringe. I’m actually really excited about playing around with a fringe – I’ve been toying with the idea of a full fringe for a couple of years now and this is the perfect time to figure it out, because if I don’t want it I just brush it to the side and carry on growing it out!

I’ve been making a list of things I’ve noticed about having a shaved head and next month I’m going to make a video for my YouTube channel with some of these observations, but mostly? I’ve been showered with love and praise – so many people have told me how brave I am and in all honesty? I don’t really think it is that brave – all I did was cut my hair off? That’s nothing compared to the people who benefit from charities like Macmillan – it’s literally nothing, hair is so unimportant and it baffles me why as a species we’re so attached to our hair and how it can define us so much.

I get it – I’ve spent five plus years dying my hair and using it as an expression of myself and I guess I don’t see it as confidence to be my own person without my hair, to not be defined by it. But I suppose some may see that as a really confident move, even though I am without a shadow of a doubt the least confident person I know!

Even though it’s been a month, I still don’t really feel used to it. Even getting in the shower I thought ‘oh I have to take my ponytail out before I get in’ and I have to remind myself fairly regularly that it’s not a ponytail, it’s just gone!

So far there’s not a lot of downsides – it’s so easy to wash and dry, I never have to think about styling or anything because it’s not long enough yet and on a windy day it’s wonderful not having my hair stick to my lipstick!

I think as it gets to that in between length it’ll be less fun because it won’t be long enough to do anything with but too long and look a bit silly. I’m genuinely excited to have the opportunity to see what my hair looks like at every possible length, even if the in between stages aren’t as flattering.

There was a few times I thought I might regret shaving my hair off and so far, I’m not feeling that at all – I’m excited for the regrowth and sometimes I will it to grow faster but between experimenting with styling and colour I’m genuinely really excited.

So far it’s not got any shape to it and my hair before I shaved it was pretty curly and I’m fascinated as to when (or if!) it’ll start curling again. There’s so much potential and possibilities and I’m genuinely so excited about it.

Maybe when I make a YouTube video about it I could do a Q&A? Do you have any questions about my decision, the process or my time since I shaved? If you do, leave a comment and I’ll answer it in my video!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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