I know I’ve been a bit absent from this blog – I had a week off, then I posted content really sporadically, then I just disappeared without a trace. I didn’t even turn my computer one for about a week, my boyfriend made a YouTube video for me (which I thoroughly recommend you watch, it’s fab) and I just went offline.
This wasn’t a choice or a decision I consciously made, it just happened. I was commuting into London for my work experience with BBC Three, I suffered a huge loss with my family, I was absolutely exhausted and then everything just got far too much and I know I couldn’t force myself to carry on with everything – so, unfortunately blogging slipped. I wish it hadn’t – I love writing, even writing this post now makes me feel so good to just be typing and the words flow so freely from my fingertips but at this time of loss and exhaustion, I couldn’t bring myself to think of the words.
And I know now that I did too much – last Tuesday I had a mild breakdown because I was trying to carry on with life as normal but I’ve not had a day with no plans for so long and I’m not going to have one for weeks, but I need to slow down and limit how much I’m making myself do because I can’t keep up. Even now I can feel my eyes ache because I’m still so tired.
I am working on it though – today I had my Lifestyle PR class, my music journalism class, I’m writing this post, I’m going to play MarioKart at uni and I’m going to go for a late night shopping trip with my favourite guys later. I’m not going to force myself to do any more than that because I will overwork myself. Every day in my diary is like this now – I have a lot going on but I’m not letting myself do too much. I’m trying to look after myself.
I have planned to write a post about grief and what’s really been going on in a week or two but it’s too soon right now. I’ve planned posts for this week and I’ve planned time to write them and get everything done but I may adapt this if I need to.
Would you like me to do a kind of ‘self help’-esque post about how I handle my mental health? It’s not professional or medically assisted in any way but it’s therapeutic for me and if it could help someone it would be totally worth it.
Thank you for reading,
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This whole concept feels like a really shitty pregnancy update. But it’s okay because I’m not pregnant and I get to update you on my stationery habits.
Having used my Happiness Planner for 4 months now (check the blog post here talking all about when I got it!), I’ve got a good feel of what the book is like now.
I’ve been through phases of remembering to fill it in then weeks at a time where I just didn’t fill it in because I forgot or I was busy or I was tired. I kept getting really frustrated because considering how expensive it was and how I want to keep it as a memory so I want to have decent memories to relive!
But I’ve now put it in my boyfriend’s bedroom so I can fill it in every night before we go to sleep. So I’ve been remembering to fill it in every night for a few weeks and it’s making me happy and more organised!
I find it really useful – it makes me focus on something in particular and it makes me think about the six things I want to get done the next day, six things is such an achievable number, especially when I put ‘go to uni’ on that list.
It also pushes me to find something positive in every day, even if a day is majoritively negative it makes me find something happy that I did in each day, even if it was that I had a long cuddle with my boyfriend or I enjoyed the walk to uni.
It also makes me hyper aware of when I’ve had bad days, it really makes me realise when I struggle to find something that’s made me happy and if I’m going through a down period, which is both a good and a bad thing because I can monitor my mood more but it can be even more depressing to notice these trends.
But primarily, The Happiness Planner makes me feel way more organised which in turn makes me feel so much happier!
I’m working on being happy and cutting the people and things that make me sad out of my life and the planner is helping me to do this a lot and I can’t wait for the next eight months of using it.
If you enjoyed this post or want another update, please let me know in the comments!
Thank you for reading,
Uni blog: http://sophieannblogs.blogspot.co.uk/
The Student Seat: https://thestudentseat.wordpress.com/