re-introducing me

2020, lifestyle

Hello!

I’ve been blogging now for over 5 years – I started the blog because I was applying to universities and between the creative writing and journalism courses I was choosing between most of the lecturers recommended starting one.

But five years is a long time and a lot of things can change in that time – at 18 I still lived at home, I had long blonde hair, I was doing my second year of a levels and seriously convinced I wasn’t going to pass any of them, perpetually single and pursuing toxic friendships because it was easier than ‘changing friendship groups’.

At 23, I’m working towards my third degree qualification, I shaved my head for charity last year and my hair is… questionably mullet-like, I’ve been in a relationship for four and a half years and we’ve planned when we want our wedding to be. I live in a little one bedroom house that we rent in High Wycombe and I’m actually obsessed with it. My Masters dissertation project deadline has been pushed back to the end of October so I won’t be looking to start work until November, but for the first time in a long time, I really don’t know what I want to do with my career, so I’m just not going to think about it for a while (which is probably a bad idea).

In the current pandemic lockdown, I’ve been continuing my uni work and maintaining making content for my blog, as well as falling in love with cross stitching, knitting and gardening (I cannot wait for my little seed babies to flower).

In 2020, I’ve done a lot of reading – I set myself the challenge of reading 12 books this year (one a month) but hit that in March and I’m now on my 22nd book of the year (but I’m trying really hard not to think about reading to hit certain numbers and just enjoy the stories). My love for books has really reignited this year and the only career I can really think of that I’m really passionate about is writing and telling stories but I don’t think I’m going to be able to work as a full time author once I finish my masters degree… A girl can dream though.

What else? My birthday is 9/11 but in the UK it’s 11/9 so I sometimes confuse people and they think my birthday is in November (I’m a very stereotypical Virgo). I live for organisation – my bullet journal, lists, calendars, colour coding, post it notes, it all makes me very happy. I think I’d be quite happy doing a receptionist/admin job, maybe at a dance school or media company (maybe with a bit of photography/social media creation on the side) and do my writing in my spare time. It’s not the high paced, travelling round the world doing social media for a touring band job I wanted to do five year’s ago when I started the blog but I think a more settled, quieter life would suit me better anyway.

My anxiety is worse than it used to be but for different reasons. Rather than having toxic friends and no support system, I have the most amazing people in my life but I worry a lot. I’d like to think it’s about justifiable things like not being able to get a job and whether I’m a good person but it’s a work in progress and I’ve been using a service called Healthy Minds, but I think I’m going to need to save for a course of proper therapy because I’ve got a lot of stuff going on in my head.

I’d like to think that the most important thing to know about me is that all I really want to do is help people, make people happy and see people succeed. Sometimes I say the wrong thing and I don’t read social situations very well but I’m well intentioned and have a lot of love to give so I hope that’s what comes across.

Lastly, I want to share three life goals:

  • I’d love to start a company that makes gorgeous kids clothes into adult clothes, because I’ve seen so many cute toddler dresses that I would wear with no shame.
  • I want to own a cafe – not necessarily run a cafe, but work with local businesses and people to make a nice community environment, maybe partner with a charity and have people donate cakes or something. I want it to be somewhere my mum can bake for in her retirement because she loves baking and I want to give her an environment to do that without the pressure of baking specifically for business so making it more of a ‘drop in’ thing.
  • I want to own a truck (but only if one of my kids has a hobby with lots of big equipment and/or I live on a farm… I have no aspiration to live on a farm).

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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why goals are so important to me

2019, goals, lifestyle, mental health

Hello!

Can I only write about goal setting and resolutions and pushing myself? No, I swear there’s a point to this post!

This is the time of year where everyone shuns New Year’s Resolutions – “why wait for a new year? Re-invent yourself whenever you like!” – yeah I totally get that and fully support that, but also why not be motivated by the new year? I write little goals for myself every month to check in with my progress and refocus, every month is a bit like a new year for me.

I’m someone who very much is motivated by a new week or a new month and if the new month starts on a Monday? Lads I’m a new woman, it’s a miracle.

But why do I like setting myself goals so much? Well for one, while I’m working freelance from home, it gives me some sort of structure and purpose when I wake up each morning. Perhaps this sounds a little melodramatic but I’m sure many people can empathise how difficult it is to get out of bed when you have no reason to and the whole day is just a challenge to fill.

For two – it’s a good way for me to make sure I’m still growing and progressing and developing both professionally and personally. In some aspects of my life, I’m happy to maintain them as they are – let them grow in their own way – but there’s other aspects that I don’t want to be stagnant, that I don’t want to get stuck in a rut in, so I want to make sure I can see that progress.

And for three – having goals took the productivity I was already passionate about and gave it a focus, especially after I finished uni. I’m not saying I liked the assignments or deadlines (the day I handed in my last essay was a bloody marvellous one) but I’ve always loved having a project and being able to put my focus onto something.

The other day I was sorting through my email folders (because I lead an incredibly exciting life) and I found this email from August 2016.

I’ll be honest I don’t know what this means about me – I can never remember what the letters I am are (cut to me trying to burn INFJ-T into my brain) – but hello strategy: constant improvement! I don’t know what being 95% turbulent and my role being a ‘diplomat’ means but that last categorisation of who I am just makes so much sense.

But then I did the 16personalities test again for a uni assignment in April 2018, nearly 2 years later and these were the results I got.

10% less introverted, 25% less intuitive, 28% less feeling, 2% more judging, and 1% more turbulent, but overall the same; still INFJ-T. How uni changed me!

I get it, going from talking about why I like goals to personality types might feel like a massive jump but hear me out on why they’re connected (other than explicitly labelling me as someone who strives for constant improvement).

  1. They just make me happy – I quite like putting myself in a box and sitting there, it makes me feel more defined as a person.
  2. Tests like this and finding out more about your personality in depth and what it says about you can help give you a purpose  – obviously there are 15 other personality types and even within those everyone has different percentages and aspects that make them individual, but sometimes having a test tell you a little bit more about yourself can make things a little easier.
  3. But on the other hand – just because it’s not part of your personality type doesn’t mean you can’t find something to focus on that motivates you.

Setting goals works for me, but beyond that I enjoy setting them for myself and seeing my progress. A lot of people don’t enjoy it and obviously that’s fine, but I do. I’ve read so many articles at this time of year that are definitive in “everyone should set goals“, “why new years is crap“, “setting goals won’t get you anywhere” – you know what? You do you. If you put the work in, things will work out.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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