new beginnings | diary 8

2019, lifestyle, student

Hello!

September has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it’s nearly over – it’s not gone quite to plan, the whole ‘moving’ thing hasn’t really happened at all, but there’s a lot of amazing life things that happened or are happening this month so I thought I’d collate into one nice succinct blog post.

~ turning 23 ~

No, having a birthday doesn’t feel all that different but I don’t know why it felt important – I think because there’s 9 months between my boyfriend and I it means I’ve been mentally preparing myself for being this age for so long and now it’s here it doesn’t feel real.

Mentally, I still feel like I’m 19/20 and being this far into my 20s just feels wrong – I’m dealing with stuff for my car or talking to letting agents and in my head I’m thinking ‘do they have any idea how naive I am about all this?’ and it just feels like I’m pretending. But I think that’s what adulthood is meant to feel like.

I’m all about new starts – I love a Monday, I love New Years and I think that’s why birthdays feel so significant to me. It feels like a new chapter.

~ going back to uni ~

This was always going to be a big change – having decided when I finished third year that I didn’t want to go back into education and I’d ‘make it on my own’ I then spent a year faced with rejection and heartbreak and further reinforcement of my incompetence in being ignored for literally hundreds of jobs. It was about May time when I decided to take matters into my own hands and apply for the masters I said I wanted to do at the beginning of third year to steer my career away from journalism.

In the last week I’ve felt so many almost-overwhelming emotions about whether I’m doing the right thing and whether I can actually do this but I’ve met some amazing people and I’m more driven than ever to build the career for myself that I really want. I can have a dream but it’s not going to come true by itself and I’m going to work my ass off for it.

So I’ve had my first lecture and I have homework to watch pretentious film student films and think of critical analysis, but I’m going to make this year work for me and 2020 is going to be a different story to 2019.

~ moving to Berkshire/Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire? ~

I’ve spent the last week and a half driving between three counties pretty much everyday and not only is it a very different driving scene to where I’m from, but the whole ‘moving’ thing has been a drama.

I feel like I’ve mentioned it about three million times, but we were all set to move into a flat in Reading and then three days before the move we get an email saying the flat is not safe to be lived in and our move in date is pushed back by two weeks. Cue nearly a week living in a hotel in High Wycombe (because uni and my boyfriend’s job still started, even if we hadn’t moved) and then our incredible friend Nick said we could stay in his flat while he’s working in Japan.

And what we’ve learnt from this is that commuting from Reading is more difficult than commuting from High Wycombe and realistically living there would be much more convenient. So with less than a week till we’re potentially moving into a flat in Reading (the move in date has still not been confirmed!), we went back to viewings. The first property we viewed was a terraced house in High Wycombe and we fell in love – it’s a proper house, it has stairs and a breakfast bar and a little front garden and a shed and we’ve applied for it and hopefully we’ll be able to move in there soon.

So in terms of an ‘update’ there isn’t really an update on the moving front – we’re still living in Nick’s flat and just waiting for things to happen now, but hopefully we’ll get to move into this amazing little house and I’ll show you every step of the process on my YouTube channel! Keep an eye out if you’re interested in that – it’s linked below if you’d like to subscribe!

~ first car accident ~ 

Not the most positive of updates but it’s a first and a life thing and I’m learning a lot from it – whilst I was away in London at the weekend my boyfriend was caught in a three way collision that wasn’t at all his fault (literally, no sarcasm here, it was just collateral damage). Fortunately no one was hurt, but the back bumper of my car is looking a bit worse for wear and I’ve spent so much time on the phone with my insurance company, the intermediary company who are coordinating getting it fixed and the garage that’s actually going to do the work.

Considering I passed my driving test less than two months ago and have only owned the car for nearly three months, I didn’t think I’d have to go through all of this so soon, but I do and I think I’m actually handling it surprisingly well.

I’m the kind of person who names their car and my boyfriend refer very fondly to our little Harry (Harrison Wheels, if you watch The Flash you’ll get it) and I feel guilty about all that he’s been through. Can you imagine how much worse I’d be if I had a pet or a child?? Definitely just going to have to stick with the car for now!

~ new beginnings ~

I wouldn’t say I’m a big believer in fate or anything but I think things happen for a reason – if we moved straight into our flat we would have immediately run into commuting issues and we’d have been tied into a contract without knowing that there was somewhere more convenient to live.

If I’d got a job I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to move somewhere brand new and explore a bit more of the country I live in. I wouldn’t have thought to go back to uni to refine my portfolio and what it is I want to do. I wouldn’t have learned to drive or been able to buy myself a car.

Life happens – it’s never smooth, it’s never easy, but it’s what you make it – I feel like I’ve rattled off these reasons time and time again in blog posts but it’s trying to convince myself as much as anything else. Things are going to be okay, even if I feel a little bit like I’m drowning at the moment, it will all settle down eventually. By Christmas we’ll have settled!

Change is something that daunts me, but I wouldn’t do without it – if you don’t embrace change than you’ll only grow to resent it, which just makes it all more difficult when it happens anyway.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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‘Shape of You’ / ‘Castle on a Hill’ – Ed Sheeran Review

2017, music

Hello!

After his year long hiatus, Ed Sheeran posted photos and videos all over his social media teasing new music on New Years Day, consequently releasing two songs ‘Shape of You‘ and ‘Castle on a Hill‘ at 5am on January 6th and making an appearance on BBC Radio 1’s Breakfast Show.

He’s come back with a bang!

Shape of You is very experimental and catchy song, originally written to be recorded by Rihanna and that’s very clear in the tone of the song. Personally I don’t think it’s very ‘Ed Sheeran’, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s very different to the other songs he’s released so far but it makes me wonder what the rest of the album will be like.

Castle on a Hill feels much more like the Sheeran sound we already know and love – there’s lots of guitars and it’s full of sentimental lyrics that are poignant and make you feel nostalgic in a happy and a sad way at the same time. I’m a big fan of this one and it is my favourite of the two, I’d love to see him do one of his loop pedal performances and play the whole song on his own.

These songs are brilliant, especially after a year of being completely absent from social media, fans and critics and everyone else seem to be really excited for the following album, even with no announced release date as of yet.

With the two songs that have been released so far, there’s not masses of indication of what sound the new album will have but Ed Sheeran being the very talented musician who’s written hits like ‘Thinking Out Loud‘, One Direction’s ‘Little Things‘ and Justin Bieber’s ‘Love Yourself‘, we all know the album is going to be incredible regardless.

I love writing about music and new releases, is there any particular music you’d like me to write about? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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resolutions for 2017

2017, lifestyle

Hello!

New Years is a funny time of year for me – I love the idea of leaving a year behind and starting afresh, very ‘new year new me’ kinda thing but also I get very scared by the passing of time and the thought of a year ending and I might not have made the most of it and it’s all very daunting.

So I thought I’d do a very generic New Years Resolutions post because whilst it is very generic, it really helps me focus and I love reading other peoples resolutions posts, both because it’s very inspiring and I’m kinda nosy!

In 2016, my resolutions were to:

  • Take more photos for my blog
  • Write more travel blog posts
  • Make changes to a healthier lifestyle
  • Write more creatively
  • And use the scrapbook I bought

Some of these were more successful than others – I have used my own pictures for 99% of my blog posts this year, even if they’ve just been iPhone pictures, it’s made me much more thoughtful about what I use pictures of and allotting time to take photos.

I’ve written more travel posts, I’ve definitely failed at getting healthier, I’ve barely written anything creatively and I don’t think I’ve touched my scrapbook except when I was moving into my new flat and that was just to put it in a box.

But I’ve found this year that I don’t want to make such generic resolutions – I’m going to make more of an action plan and then hopefully I’ll feel in a better place to actually do them!

I’ve broken my resolutions down into three categories; personal, creative and university goals.

My personal goals:

  • Being healthier (I’ll explain)
  • Exercise more
  • Focus on dental hygiene
  • Be a morning person
  • Be more careful with money

Right, I know everyone says they want to be healthier and I know it’s really stereotypical but I’m really going to kick it into gear this year because I hit a weight that made me actually cry – my friends and family have told me I should be happy with my weight and myself because I’m ‘fine’ but I’m not and if I’m not happy with myself then I need to change it.

I intend to do this by getting a couple of books on diet and being healthy to understand more about food groups and what your body needs to be healthier – I don’t know where to start and I want to educate myself because then I feel like I’ll know more about what I need and what to do in terms of what to eat and how to exercise.

And then there’s money – it’s a goal of mine to get out of my overdraft and really start saving some money for travelling next year. I’m thinking about it this way: if I want to travel I need to save for it, so every time I want to buy something I need to think about that purchase directly taking away from my travelling money for a trip to somewhere new. It’s worked so far!

My creative goals:

  • Keep learning about photography
  • Maintain my blog and YouTube channel
  • Make sure to keep trying out new content
  • Start writing again
  • Find new creative outlets

I consider myself a creative person – I’m so happy with how much I learnt about photography last year and I want to carry that into the new year by continuing to grow, continuing to maintain my blogging and start a schedule for YouTube and by continuing to find new ways to express myself. As long as I actually make sure I’m really regimented with my time management, I have time for all of this.

I know I’ve talked about writing a lot – I did manage to write about 30,000 words of my novel over the summer and I daren’t add up how many words I’ve written in blog posts (with posting five times a week over three blogs?!) but writing used to be something I did every night, sat on my laptop in the corner of my parents’ living room and I want to get back to that. Whether it’s fanfiction, random little creative pieces or finally finishing my book, I need to make writing my hobby again.

One thing I want to work on is being more adaptable – my upload schedule might change a bit as uni gets busier or quieter but I need to work on not beating myself up if I miss a day or if I don’t get that perfect picture or if something isn’t as successful as I planned.

My university goals:

  • Stay motivated
  • Stay organised
  • Keep trying new things
  • Keep putting yourself out there
  • Work experience

This first semester has been my best academic year so far – I went into this year knowing it counts and knowing I wanted to do well, the only way I can do that is if I put the effort in to get the grades I want and that went pretty well for me in this first semester so I’m intent to maintain that in the new year.

 

Work experience is something I think every university student is looking for – work experience, work experience, work experience. I always intend to get really good work experience – particularly following work experience at Channel 4 in my first year, so this year I’m going to apply for as much as I can and get some work experience I’m really proud of under my belt because work experience is the kind of thing that stays with you after university.

I know this post is really long but I feel so focused and I’m almost excited for next New Years (despite aforementioned fear of the passing of time) to be able to look back and see if this long ass blog post actually made a difference to whether I did these things!

Thank you for reading, please share your resolutions in the comments!

Sophie xx

 

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