New Year, No Plan

2020, goals, mental health

Hello,

Like many of us at this time of year, December often gets my thinking about setting goals for the next year – call them New Years Resolutions, 2021 goals or anything else, a lot of people really like the turn of a new year to be able to adopt a fresh new mindset and try and make lifestyle changes.

If you’ve read any of my goal blog posts, you’ll know I’m a massive goals person and won’t be surprised that I’ve been thinking about and making notes about what I want to achieve in 2021 for a few months now. When inspiration hits I have to write it down, or I will not remember!

And whilst setting goals and the New Year can be a great new start and a chance to refresh, it can also be really intimidating if you don’t know what the year is going to hold. When I planned this post I’d been applying for jobs with no reply (though I’m now in discussion about potential work starting next year… but I don’t want to speak too soon) and not knowing what could fill each day can be daunting, lonely and hopeless.

And after the year we’ve all lived through, lonely and hopeless have a whole new meaning.

People throw around phrases like ‘it has to be better next year!’ but if we’ve learnt anything is that we don’t know what’s coming and we can’t expect it to be better. 2021 can’t be this beacon of hope where we expect everything to return to ‘normal’ – this week, the British Government have announced a lot more places moving into Tier 3 (very high risk) measures and despite a vaccine being given, there’s a whole lot of talk about things getting worse before they ever get better. So putting too much hope on 2021 is the kind of optimism my realism can’t get behind.

So 2021 is a mystery, like every New Year is, but with the experience of 2020 behind us it feels a bit different this year. Thus, going into the New Year with no plan feels impossible.

Granted, there’s always things to be grateful for – having our health, a roof over our head and food in the fridge has meant so much more this year, being with someone who’s not lost their job and is still working is a privilege and even just living with someone and having company feels like a luxury. But that doesn’t make not knowing what could come in 2021 any less scary.

Not knowing is the worst kind of not having control and for the control freaks among us, that’s where a lot of feelings of intimidation come from. But there are ways to make it easier – I’m a huge advocate for to do lists, setting yearly and monthly goals to help with consistent progress, adapting how daily to do lists are made to suit what makes you feel productive and learning to check in with yourself to learn what makes you feel calmer and happier and working on it.

Looking ahead is always scary, whether it’s a year, a decade or a lifetime, but being able to reign it in, take it a week, a day or even an hour at a time feels more achievable. Working on mindfulness to tune into our psychological and physical needs and intuitively get to know our bodies can be hugely beneficial to our wellbeing. Even things like a skincare routine and a healthier diet are short term things that are worth focusing on.

I’m not saying this from a position of someone who’s ‘perfected’ any of this – my to do list today is about 14 tasks long because I’ve been feeling a bit low this week and not sleeping well, I’ve not opened my meditation app in months and I 100% do not regularly use any of my skincare products, but I know that when I feel ready, spending time on these things will be good for me. And I will be okay.

New Year’s is a strange time of year – it can be incredibly sad to end, excited for a new beginning, grief for those we may have lost, anticipation of plans for the coming year; a whole host of emotions, good and bad. When I was younger, I hated New Years because I was so depressed I couldn’t see my life getting better, then when I was at uni I worried that things would get worse and the evidence of the passing of time scared me. But now? The New Year is going to come and go anyway, so I’m learning to accept that the year will bring whatever it brings and I can only control what is in my power.

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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New Year’s Resolutions 2019

2019, career, goals, lifestyle

Hello!

Guys and gals, a year of making myself mini goals every month (and January Goals are coming your way, don’t you worry) and I have the most organised, the most ‘me’ resolutions I ever could have made.

I’ve got two lists – one split into three categories and another which is more like a bucket list of goals for the year. I’m not going to blither on in the pre-amble because I think this post it probably going to get long!

Firstly, the categories – they’re the same as my resolutions for last year but a little more refined!

[ p e r s o n a l : ]

  • work towards my weight goal – eat well, build a workout routine

Since I’ve started seeing progress towards the end of last year, I’m more motivated than ever to see my goals through this year – over the next 12 months I definitely think I can reach my current goal but I’m leaving myself the flexibility to adapt these goals too.

  • prioritise tasks and make time for hobbies – stop caring about ‘productivity’ so much

This is kind of a double edged sword – on one hand, I want to put less importance on productivity, but also I want to value what I’m doing more and get more done during the day so I’m not sat in the evening pretending to work. I’d rather leave my laptop upstairs and make a better use of my time! I’m really going to reevaluate how I make my to do lists this year so I can get more done during the day and not spend the evening ‘finishing bits off’ and I can make time for the things I want to do.

  • self esteem, I need some

Whether it’s a bit of therapy or more personal reflection, but I’d like to feel more confident in myself this year.

[ c a r e e r : ]

  • build a freelance career – make my own work, be my own boss, be a superhero woman (essentially)

Having officially gone freelance in the last month of 2018, now I’ve got a whole new challenge to face in 2019 – not getting a job, but finding work. I’m both excited and terrified of it but the only way I can change my situation is to work on it so I’m going to make it work.

  • build my over media kit

I have my gorgeous little Canon EOS M10 but I want to build my own kit for events and work – on my dream wish list in a new DSLR and two lenses but I’ll develop this depending on the financial situation and what I need. Any recommendations from any media friends would be spectacular!

  • make a future plan with work goals, life goals, travel goals, aspirations etc

I love the idea of having a 3 or 5 year plan but what I’ve learnt from this time last year is that I need it to be more flexible and adaptable. So my goal is to make some sort of plan that I can adapt and change as and when, but more long term goals to focus on.

[ c r e a t i v e : ]

  • continue towards making the most genuine ‘me’ content on my blog and YouTube channel

I had a bit of a revelation at the end of 2018 that I felt a bit fake online and I’m definitely making more of an effort to make what I really love and what I’m passionate about and I’m excited to explore that more this year.

  • write a book? finish something? write more than I did in 2018? maybe some freelance writing?

Months like NaNoWriMo work really well for me so I’ve planned a few more writing challenges throughout the month so maybe by the end of the year I might have something to show for it!

  • work on photography – need to solidify basic knowledge and then work with better equipment

I love photography and I’m confident in my ability to take photos, but I think because I didn’t study photography at school, I got a little bit left behind with the real basics of photography at uni so I really want to go back and practice the basics.

[ t e n   g o a l s : ]

  1. Have a PT session – I want to know more about weight training and how to workout properly and I feel like for me I need to start with some professional advice so when I can drive and afford it, I’ll go to a gym and book a session.
  2. Get another tattoo – it’s getting towards two years since I got a tattoo and I want another one before the two year mark, so hopefully I can save for that.
  3. Read a book a month – I have so many books I haven’t read, so going to aim for 12 books this year!
  4. Do a grid drawing every month – I think it was two years ago I did a drawing challenge where I printed out a line drawing, divided it into the number of squares in the month and colour in one square every day. I think it’ll be less committed than a colour book but make me do a little something artistic every day, I’m excited about this one.
  5. Listen to more new music – I want to use my discover weekly playlists on Spotify and find some new artists to listen to. 2018 was the year of nostalgia and finding comfort in music I already loved and I think finding new music will really motivate me this year.
  6. Save for a new media kit – linked to one of my career goals, I really want to buy a new camera or at least be on my way to buying one next year.
  7. Have a little trip away with my boyfriend every month – I’m not saying I want to go on a full on holiday every month, just a little weekend, going to see friends, a little bit of European travel maybe, I definitely want to have a weekend in London for Winter Wonderland this year because I’ve never bin. Gonna change that!
  8. Take my driving test and upgrade my car – I’m so in love with driving at the moment and I’m hoping to have taken my test by April (ish) and my car, however lovely it is, I would like to get a newer car that I trust to take on longer drives across the country. 2019 is the Year of the Car, I’m so excited about it.
  9. Improve my posture – very, very different scale but being someone who’s always been tall for their age, I always compensated when I was younger by hunching over and trying not to stand out too much. Now I want to have better posture and strengthen the muscles in my back.
  10. Find somewhere to live/get our own place – my boyfriend and I had always planned to find our own place basically as soon as we finished our contract in our student house but nothing worked out as planned so going into 2019, we have a vague idea of what we’re going to do but I would so love to have our own place by the end of the year.

But who knows where the year can take us! One of the biggest things I’ve learnt since last year is that they goals can’t be set in stone – it will only lead to disappointment in the long run if I things change or what I want changes.

Either way, I’m really excited about this and working on the goals this year is really going to help me focus and make progress. Can’t wait!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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a night out in Weymouth

2017, travel, Uncategorized

Hello!

When I talk about travelling on this blog, I often talk about it not having to be a ‘big foreign’ trip to write about it – I went to Weymouth for the first time over New Years and it was a gorgeous sea side town so I wanted to write about it here.

Two of my friends and their bands were playing in Weymouth (where they’re from) for New Years and my boyfriend and I joked about going… and then we did.

We arrived in the afternoon and basically went straight to the sea and I loved it – it was full of little blue and white seaside benches and the pier is gorgeous and it was just so cutesy. I definitely need to go and spend more time at Weymouth beach.

After meeting my friends at the beach, we went for lunch at McDonalds (lol) and back to my friend’s house to chill out, watch Doctor Who and have dinner. It was such a lovely area – the house was on a big hill and you could see the sea from his drive and his garden and I just loved it, I just feel like I could live there – it was a big, seaside version of my home town.

In the evening we had sparklers and we let off a few fireworks and it was so much fun – I was so excited to have my first proper New Years that wasn’t sat in front of a TV watching fireworks in London and to bring the New Year in with such amazing friends I felt so privileged, so lucky and so grateful.

After the sparklers we went to our first venue for the evening – Finns, where my friend Dan’s band Coyote were playing and then went on to The Lazy Lizard to see my friend Pete’s band Under the Carousel. There was a nice break in the middle to sit on a bench and stare at the sea and talk about the New Year and how things change.

I mean, that was after I nearly got dragged into a fight and got kicked in the leg and had a minor panic attack about being in a new place and not knowing my surroundings – things like that happen, but I’m working on it and it didn’t ruin my night. Didn’t mean to include a ‘mental health’ update in those post but there it is!

Weymouth is a gorgeous place and I’d love to go back, maybe for a little weekend seaside holiday in the summer!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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