my dream job | #asktheuniverse

2018, career, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’ve always been a big advocate of if you want something, ask for it because you never know who might have that contacts to help you get to where you want to be. That’s why I made a video in 2014 about my dream job (click here for foetus Sophie) and that’s why I love that ‘#asktheuniverse’ seems to have become a thing.

So why not write my own #asktheuniverse post, right?

I thought I’d write about three jobs which I would just love to do, because there are so many things that I’d get so excited about having the opportunity to do and I think I would be really good at, so here’s me asking the universe!

  • social media in live music – being on Insta stories every night of a tour, responding to fans on twitter, making short tour vlogs for each night for Facebook and YouTube  – it would be manic busy but it’s something I would absolutely love, travelling to new parts of the world and experiencing live music every night makes my heart race just thinking about it. This has essentially been my dream job since I was about 17 but I think it would be just so much fun and the creative energy would be insane.
  • creative digital media – this one’s a little vague but being able to combine copywriting, videography and photography online or on social media is something I’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing and for a certain brand or TV channel or right creative personality, I think it would be a super exciting and engaging career to build on.
  • writing books – I’ve been creative writing since I was 12 years old in 2008 and I kind of fell out of love with it when I went to uni because I just didn’t have the time to write creatively every night like I did when I was at home. As of recent I’ve got back into it and I’ve always been passionate about the story I wrote when I was 16 and I went to develop it and make it into a full series and work on a film adaptation! I just love the idea of working on a project that’s such a dear part of your heart and sharing that with an audience and having people write fanfiction about it – imagine having an audience that cared about your characters that much? I’m aiming for the next Harry Potter, obviously.
  • Overwatch: A Netflix series – I’m aware that the only video game I play and is Overwatch and I definitely can’t call myself a gamer but I love it so much. Mostly because, the company that makes the game, Blizzard, are just so thorough with their character creation – there’s currently 28 heroes (I think?) and they’ve all got in depth back stories and connections to each other and the overarching story is really interesting and ongoing and I think it could be an actually incredible series on Netflix but it would take a lot of prep, a lot of character mapping and a whole team to make potentially 28 characters come together. Imagine the season finale it would be so incredible and I’d love to be part of the creative writing process, even the filming, editing and promotions process. Fully involved yes please.

Or, I would like to be in Flash please. Because deep down, the performing arts part of me still loves the idea of being an actor but I have no training nor do I actually think I’d be very good at it. But I might be, who knows?

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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Adjusting (Diary 2)

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

It’s been about a month since I did my first diary post and I feel like I’ve got more to say and document (as per) so I am going to do both of those things. It’s not so much a situational change but a mental attitude change and we all know I love a ramble so I think that’s what I’ll do today!

I guess the biggest thing is that I started learning to drive! At the beginning of September I had my first lesson and it was amazing! I enjoyed it so much I literally jumped around the kitchen because I loved driving so much. My instructor is so lovely and makes me feel really comfortable and because she’s so great, she’s incredibly booked up so I couldn’t get another lesson until the beginning of next month but I’ve booked a lesson a week until the beginning of November so I’m really focused on learning and I want to be able to drive in the next six months or so, which is exciting!

It all then snowballed quite fast – my granddad sold me his car and I can’t drive it yet but I now have a car which is quite fast considering I’ve had literally one lesson but it’s a long story and it’s situational (I’ve made a video on my YouTube channel if you’re interested in hearing all about it!). Long story short – I had a lesson, I bought a car and I passed my theory test last week so the driving journey is really kick starting and I’m so excited! I’m so surprised I’m not scared of it to be honest, I genuinely can’t wait to be able to drive.

I’d like to think that the driving development makes up for the lack of job development but there’s still a lot to say – I don’t have a job, I really lost momentum in applying because I’d applied for so many, I’d had so many rejection emails, no interviews and looking at my cover letter to tweak it for every job genuinely gave me headaches and made me want to burst into tears. It’s not even like I took a break I just couldn’t do it anymore.

But now I feel somewhat ready to start applying again – I’ve been helping my mum out by doing some jobs in the office and helping out her business so I’m learning again, working for a wage and earning some money, which is a nice feeling. I’m ready to start slowly applying for jobs again – rather than applying for seven in a day, I want to take it slower and make each application more meaningful and only apply for jobs that really make me excited rather than applying for literally everything.

I’m adjusting to life back at home – I’d always planned to move out again and have my own kind of career by about October but, to be honest, I’m quite warming to the idea of staying at home for a year and finishing learning to drive, learning about business from my mum and finding a role that really suits me.

So it’s taking time to adjust, but I think I am settling a little and I’m actually not hating it.

There’s no smooth segway between topics other than talking about how I’m completely changing the topic. So now to talk about diet and exercise!

I’ve written a couple of posts about exercise recently and I’m now not working out in the same way but I’m still working on it – as of this week, I’m focusing a lot on what I’m eating and training myself to not be as hungry and rely on food as I have been previously. I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in January and I’m using it as an incentive to lose some weight (though Christmas being between now and then is not going to work in my favour). I’m still exercising but not forcing myself to miserably walk on the treadmill three times a week – I’ve gone for going for focused walks walking at a higher pace than I’m comfortable with and I’m already noticing a positive effect on my mood in three days so I’m feeling more motivated to go back to the weights and cardio machines. I’m listening to my body a lot more and not pushing myself to do anything that doesn’t help me mentally (other than food, I’m being quite strict about that).

And I’m actually kind of enjoying it! Sure I’m hungry, but I’m planning my meals more, I’m trying new things, I’m cooking more, I had a really nice conversation with my dad about it yesterday and it was really lovely. I don’t want to diet, because I would either then spend the rest of my life on that diet or I’d yo-yo back up to where I am now and neither of those are good. I’m making sustainable changes by cutting out snacking and being aware of the kinds of food I’m eating and making certain types of food a treat.

But I would quite like to ban food adverts on TV because god it makes avoiding evening snacking really difficult. The other night, I could have eaten boxes of shortbread, a bucket of buttery pasta and at least three pizzas. But I didn’t, which is the important bit. I had grapes instead.

I think that’s enough for one diary post – my days have been pretty quiet recently, making content, working for mum, applying for jobs, nothing too exciting to report.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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nothing is permanent, even unemployment

2018, lifestyle, student

Hello!

After graduating, the only thing anyone ever really wants to talk to you about is whether you’ve got a job, what’re you going to do next and what your plans are and when you don’t have a job or a plan it gets pretty boring and incredibly down-heartening.

That’s not to say I resent anyone who asks – it’s nice to know that people care enough to ask, especially my family – I’m mostly annoyed with myself for not having anything to update them on.

And it is disheartening – when you’ve spent three years working on something and you’re proud of your achievements and you’ve been told ‘you won’t struggle to get a job’ (maybe all lecturers say that to everyone) it’s hard to apply for some really exciting jobs and some jobs that you could do but wouldn’t love and some jobs just to pass the time and to get a new rejection email every day. Even my mum today used the words ‘soul destroying’ and she’s right.

This isn’t new information – I’m not the first graduate to feel like this and I most certainly won’t be the last, I’m not trying to be a voice and I’m not trying to pretend this is something new or original.

I’m just saying that if you’re feeling like this you’re not alone – being in this post-graduate unemployment slump can be incredibly isolating. After three years of living with your best mates, seeing your friends every day and living a completely independent life, for most students it’s moving back in with your parents, knowing that all your friends are scattered around the country and it takes more than just a Facebook message to see them. It’s lonely and on top of that you may start to feel like the universe is telling you that you’ll never get a job.

To be honest, I don’t know if I have any ‘tips and tricks’ to make this easier – we’re not going to be unemployed forever, no one ever is, I just don’t know what the next step is. However much I keep telling myself I’m going to be unemployed forever and I’m not good enough for the jobs I’ve applied for doesn’t mean it’s true – I’m not going to spend the rest of my life living at my mum’s house making food plans and uploading videos not many people watch and I know that not getting a job doesn’t mean I’m a failure and I’m useless.

Well, at least I hope it doesn’t.

I guess the thing I want to share (to make this a slightly less miserable post!) is this – I was chatting to a friend a few weeks ago, he’s just finished his first year and he said his biggest worry about finishing uni was ending up in a dead end job and I said words to this effect.

I mean, it’s hard to say either way – obviously I want to say ‘that won’t happen’ but I finished uni months ago and I still don’t have a job. All I can say is nothing lasts forever – I don’t think I know anyone who has been in the same job at the same company or even in the same career from when they’re in their early 20s to when they’re 60. Things change and move and you’ll change and move with them – nothing is ‘stuck’ or ‘dead end’ unless you decide to stay, so don’t worry about it too much!

Nothing is permanent, even unemployment.

Any advice (or jobs in social/digital media or along these lines) please do let me know! All my socials are linked below as always.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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my uncertain life right now (Diary 1)

2018, lifestyle, student, travel

Hello!

A couple of months ago I wrote a post all about how I was writing this blog for myself – how I didn’t really want to spend masses of time scheduling tweets or making promo for Instagram stories that I didn’t get much engagement on so I’d rather this blog was a little spot on the internet that I can scroll through in 50 years and look back on what was important to me when I was 21.

I don’t think I’m the right kind of person to get brand deals and really make a living from doing this, maybe writing in other capacities but not like this (not that I wouldn’t want to if the opportunity came along? I could get caught up in ‘if’s and ‘but’s for ages, but you get the gist).

So where I may have held off writing diary like blog posts in the past (‘because it doesn’t help anyone’ or ‘no one cares’) – I want to start documenting little capsules of my life! Here and now – 17th August 2018, these are the things I’m thinking, what makes me happy, what I’m worried about. I hope that’s okay.

Right this second, I’m sat in a Cafe Nero in Peterborough – my boyfriend is at his (hopefully) last driving lesson before he gets put forward for his test and I’m killing time until we get the bus home together later. I love working in cafes – for some reason, being out the house and in public makes me feel like I have to get work done but it doesn’t feel like a chore. It inspired me to write this post, to be honest.

This week was one of those busy but quiet weeks – the beginning of the week was a trial shift at a job that I had to turn down because my back is in really bad shape and standing for whole shifts would do more bad than good, then I was on a train back to Southampton for a job interview at the university I didn’t attend.

I think it went well – I’ve tried not to post too much about it online because I know for a fact that if everyone else is as nosy as me, people will be judging and keeping an eye on how the job hunt is going (that sounds malicious – I’m kinda nosy but because it’s exciting seeing where everyone’s going next!). But also I don’t want to post about it and then not get it because then people might ask me how it went and I’d have to say I didn’t get it. I’m waiting on an email or some form of contact today so I might update this post? I feel like I have to now!

edit: I didn’t get the job, back to applying I guess!

It was a very quick one night stay in Southampton and by Tuesday evening we were home and continuing to watch CW’s Arrow Season 1 – we started watching Legends of Tomorrow with the fam and it was a bit confusing because I’ve watched Flash but I hadn’t seen Arrow or Supergirl so we decided to go right back to the beginning and watch them in order. I’m loving it so much – I’ve always been a massive fan of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (none of the TV shows ever grabbed me) but DC’s films never blew me away, DC TV however is edging it’s way to be equal to Marvel to be honest. Flash is my DC boy and Spider-Man is my Marvel boy, they could never be more than each other.

I take superheroes very seriously, I don’t know if you can tell!

The middle of this week has been very slow – I’ve had a lot of headaches and I can’t tell if they’re dehydration or stress but I’m already looking forward to a new week and a fresh start.

In the least melodramatic way, my life right now is very uncertain – I might get this job or that job (I’ve applied for too many to count at this point), I might be living at home for a while, should I start driving lessons? Will I be home for my birthday? Do I book to go down to Bournemouth for my sister’s birthday because I don’t know where I’ll be? I feel like I’m waiting on a lot of conditions before I can settled and plan properly and we all know that planning and knowing where I am and what I’m doing is my specialty – I feel a bit like I’m floating, so I’m very much looking forward to having my feet planted firmly on the ground again.

I’ve really enjoyed writing this – I might make it a more regular thing or keep it just to when I feel like something significant is worth documenting? Either way, I found it very therapeutic so I hope you enjoyed it too!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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August Mini Goals

2018, film, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

How July flew past – between trying to survive the heatwave and adjusting to life as a graduate, it’s been a bit of whirlwind. But let’s jump right in with reviewing my July goals.

[ J U L Y   G O A L S : R E V I E W ]

  1. Content – stick to the plan! I’m actually really proud of myself with this one, I’m feeling much more on top of this goal and I feel like I’m making stuff I’m actually really proud of!
  2. Portfolio – my portfolio on my blog is all done and ready for updating as and when I have something new to post (you can have a nosy here), my showreel was a much slower start but I knuckled down, made a list of everything I wanted to include, sourced all the footage and started cutting it down – so it’s not quite finished but it’s nearly there!
  3. Workout – I decided against making too much of an effort with this one because it was just too hot to workout and it wasn’t worth the hassle. But I have been making an effort to try and do lots of walking and just yesterday I started using my mum’s treadmill and I’m going to start working up from there – I did a whole rant on my Instagram stories which I saved to highlights (and I will write a full blog post on it soon!) if you want a sneak peak.
  4. Work experience – I was struggling a bit with this one because having finished my degree and in the midst of applying for career starting jobs, applying for work experience all felt a little backwards – I was unsure about what I wanted from each company I was looking into but I’ve done a bunch more research and sent a few emails off the other day.
  5. Applying for jobs – I actually, no joke, lost count of how many jobs I’ve applied for in the last couple of weeks. I lost my mojo a little bit at the end of June but by mid-July I’d pulled up my metaphorical socks and told myself I am worthy of a cool job in an industry I love, I just need to keep going to get there and that’s what I’ve done. Hopefully I’ll hear back from something soon but in the mean time, I will keep applying.

That was long, but let’s jump right into August!

[ A U G U S T   G O A L S : L O O K I N G   A H E A D ]

I wanted to shake things up a little this month – I felt like my goals had been basically the same for months I needed to adjust my focus a little bit.

  1. Write 15,000 words – in July I had a go at Camp NaNoWriMo and though I didn’t hit my target word goal, I did find the same kind of enjoyment out of writing that I used to when I was a teenager and I want to maintain that this month.
  2. Finish my passion project – I’ve had a video project for my YouTube channel on the backburner for a little while now and I’m determined to finish it this month. It’s a little out there but it’s something I really want to make and I can’t wait to share it!
  3. Focus on my Insta content / take more photos! I’ve been really enjoying Instagram at the moment and working on balancing a theme and pretty content with real life photos that match up to what I’m actually doing day in day out and I want to work on that even more. I want to take more photos and make my instagram the best it can be!
  4. Start budget tracking – I’ve not done any kind of budget tracking since I got my penultimate loan instalment in January but now I have no upcoming loans and I don’t have a lot of money, so I need to keep track of what I’m spending and where I’m spending it to make sure I have enough money to keep me going.
  5. Watch more films! I don’t necessarily mean go to the cinema more but there’s a lot of classic films that I haven’t seen, some because I know I won’t like them but a lot because I just never got round to seeing them! My mum has a pretty spectacular DVD collection (that I just databased and alphabetised) so I think we’re going to start working our way through that.

A little bit rambly this month, but I graduated in July so there’s been a fair bit of self-evaluation. I’m feeling productive and creative at the moment so hopefully that follows through!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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What I wore to graduation | outfit

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’ve mentioned it in pretty much every blog post, tweet and Instagram since it happened but I graduated last week! I only figured out what I was wearing to graduation less than a week before that and whilst I’m at a point of not liking my body a whole bunch and wanting to find something that I felt comfortable and looked good in was a challenge for me, I wanted to write a whole post about the beauty I found!

I wore this blue playsuit from New Look with what I’m referring to as a cape (that I adored). It was comfy, I felt badass and it was flattering, keeping the bits of my body I’m a little more insecure about more covered.

The sleeves were perfect in this summer heatwave were having – they weren’t so much sleeves as they were curtains for my upper arms and I loved them. They were so airy and light but completely eliminated any insecurities I have about my upper arms.

I wore a size 18 and I liked that it wasn’t clingy but if it was any bigger it would have been too baggy, particularly around the chest. It was just genuinely very comfortable, particularly in the searing heat that we’re experiencing in the UK at the moment.

As for shoes, I’m holding these gorgeous heels from Next (which seem to be no longer available in the grey I chose), the reason I didn’t wear them is because I had worn them to my boyfriend’s graduation the day before (the biggest mistake I possibly could have made) and gave myself a giant blister and bruises so I avoided wearing them for as long as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, they are very comfortable and if I’d been sensible about when I wore them I definitely could have worn them all day, my feet just aren’t build for heels and I don’t really need the height! I’m 5’10” and wear a size 8, if anyone’s interested!

The sandals I’m wearing here are my mum’s and she has no idea where they’re from, but they’re very comfortable and she let me keep them. Thanks mum!

I probably should have taken my FitBit Blaze off for the day but there were some crucial steps that I wasn’t prepared to miss! I was definitely going to make walking across that stage count. In terms of other jewellery, I picked up a necklace from Primark a couple of days before which was a small gold pendant with a moon and an ‘S’ on it and I wore some gold stud earrings, that was it!

I’m not a huge jewellery gal so if I hadn’t spotted them I wouldn’t have worn anything but they were lovely additions and haven’t turned my skin green which I’m actually somewhat surprised by.

Graduation was a really lovely day – having watched my boyfriend and so many friends graduate the day before and had an amazing night at the pub (and a very emotional goodbye to a housemate of basically three years) and then to have my own day and see everyone again and thank my lecturers was just lovely. Good luck to anyone else graduating this summer and congratulations if you already have!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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Outside photos taken on my OnePlus 5T by my wonderful blogger boyfriend, photo in gowns taken on a Huawei P20 Pro by my sister.

I graduated… now what?

2018, lifestyle, student

Hello!

I wrote a post a bit like this back in June (Life after uni – what’s next?) but 1 – the point still stands and 2 – I’ve still got something to say, boy do I have more to add.

It’s completely natural to feel lost after uni – having been guided through education for 17 years, it suddenly all comes to a close and the education system thinks it’s taught me how to be a fully functioning adult! But it also things that maths theorems are important for daily life and how to pay taxes aren’t so I’m stood at the top of this ladder, weird hat that makes me look like a bird table and all, looking out to… nothing. And there’s a big drop below me.

Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone – a lot of people have jobs lined up and go straight into work and life. But that’s not to say those people worked harder or are better than me, or even luckier than me because they worked hard to be where they are, it just hasn’t worked out for me yet.

(It’s a weird post to write because I’m really proud of my friends that already have jobs and it’s definitely not luck – they’re all very deserving of their jobs, but that doesn’t mean i’m not good enough? It’s something I’m trying to figure out in my head so trying to write it and cover all basis is a bit of a challenge!)

Either way – I don’t have a job yet and that’s a little bit terrifying. However much I’d love to sack it all off and work on my blog and YouTube full time, it’s just not an option – it’s not what I want to do full time (I love it as a hobby) and it’s not a career option from a financial point of view.

So what now? Well the house contract in Southampton ran out so I’m back in my hometown with my mum for a while. My boyfriend found out he’s got a job on the day of his graduation so he’s got a summer of freelancing, an intensive driving course in September and then he’ll start by the end of September but he can work remotely so we might stay with mum for a bit longer and save to find somewhere to live.

And for the first time in our relationship he has a plan and I don’t, and I’m not a big fan.

I have a vague plan – I’ve got a little bit of freelance work and I’m going to do what I can to try and get some work experience over the summer (and continue applying for jobs) and save, maybe do an intensive driving course if I can afford it, mostly save for a flat and do some research into where we want to live. I’m maybe thinking that I don’t need to be as close to London as I thought and maybe I can get away with being closer to the South Coast, but still need to do a lot of research.

And all this is in the interim in waiting to get a job – I’m applying for as much as I can and trying to everything I can do better myself but it’s all very sketchy and not solid and it scares me – this is why I’m trying to keep myself busy (and wrote a whole blog post about it) because I have control over that.

So the conclusion of this whole ramble? I don’t know what’s happening and I’m trying my best, but people asking me what my plan is now is literally my least favourite question. But I don’t think that’s unusual for those who’ve recently graduated.

I’m sure I’ll write about it if and when I figure out more of a plan!

Thank you for reading!

Sophie xx

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July Mini Goals!

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

These posts are beginning to feel a bit repetitive as most of my goals are the same, but that’s probably a sign that I need to get my ass in gear and actually start ticking off some of these goals!

These posts are mostly for personal gain but if you’ve got any goals for the month let me know below!

JUNE GOALS REVIEW:

  1. Mental health: it’s a work in progress! I booked an appointment, went to the appointment, had a blood test and the results came back fine (I think?), now I’ve moved home I kind of have to start again but I got the ball rolling.
  2. Sort out my sleep schedule: Didn’t really happen, it’s been a weird month and I feel like I’ve slept okay but I’ve not been in control? It’s hard with no motive
  3. Finish my portfolio: Instagram portfolio, smashed it. Blog portfolio – untouched. Showreel – not even thought about. Really need to knuckle down with this!
  4. Keep job hunting: I mean, I have been job hunting but not as focused as before. I’ve had a lot of brain fog so writing a cover letter literally just feels like the worst idea, so mixed bag. LinkedIn has actually be really useful thought.
  5. Stay consistent with content: Complete (ish) fail – nowhere near as consistent as I wanted it to be but it was actually a really busy month, I lived on trains, I felt foggy and tired. It’s not an excuse, I could have done it but it would have been at the expense of making good content and at the expense of my mental and physical health. So, eh?

JULY GOALS:

  1. Content: Stick to the damn plan! Maybe I’m asking too much of myself which is why I’ve not been very good at this recently but I’m going to try and do my best to post two blog posts and two videos a week! Whilst I have literally zero commitment since finishing uni and not having a job yet, I should definitely be able to do it! For some reason I haven’t, so maybe this month I will.
  2. Portfolio: There’s no room for anymore excuses – I have all the difficult bit done, I just have to do the boring bit of putting each portfolio post on my website and then it’s done, then I can work on making it pretty and figuring out how WordPress works. I also want to make a showreel, but that one’s a bit more difficult and will take a lot longer so if I get it done, fab, if not, I want to make a longer term plan of the steps I need to make a showreel.
  3. Workout! I bought the BodyBoss workout program thing like multiple months ago and I’m yet to complete more than a week at a time. This was mostly due to the lack of space I had at my house in Southampton but now that I’m living with my mum who’s got lots of space and a lovely big garden (surrounded by bungalows that can’t look in!), so in July I want to finish the Bodyboss 4 week pre-workout program. Or at least, finish 4 weeks of it – I’m really unfit and I struggle so I might repeat a few weeks.
  4. Work experience: The biggest problem of the modern day graduate – “you need experience to get a job and you need a job to get experience”. Whilst I’m still working on getting a job, I want to get as much work experience in the field I want to go into which will hopefully make me more employable but also keep me busy and add to my portfolio! I want to make three inquiries this month.
  5. The dreaded J word: Who’s been talking about getting a job for approximately three months? Oh yeah, hi that’s me. But it’s still true. I would like a graduate job please. I just need to apply for as much as possible.

So that’s my plan for the month! I need to give myself a focus because I don’t have any work or uni commitments, but I’m also taking part in Camp NaNoWriMo and my family are doing a silly drawing challenge for fun as well as all the other things I want to do so maybe I’m overwhelming myself but we’ll see how it goes.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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blogging for myself

2018, lifestyle

Hello!

I follow a lot of bloggers on social media – I’ve watched so many Insta stories about people’s social media plans and how they schedule tweets and post regularly to make sure that as many people as possible see a new post or a new video or follow their Instagram or whatever.

I’ve tried this – I’ve tried scheduling tweets and promoting my content more and you know what? It was exhausting, it never did anything to help more people see my posts and I can’t be bothered anymore.

After I took a break from the internet when I was working on my last university assignments (I say ‘I took a break’ like it was a choice, I didn’t have time to make anything) I decided I couldn’t be bothered to spend ages promoting my posts and videos in scheduled tweets and posts or making Insta stories that no one is going to actually engage with.

I’ve never had that many readers or viewers so why am I stressing myself out over this?

So this isn’t me giving up on blogging or making videos, I’m just going to make content for myself – I don’t need lots of readers to be happy with my blog. I’m not going to mass promote blog posts or YouTube videos anymore.

That’s not to say I’m going to change what I’m writing about or how I’m writing – I still like writing as if I have an audience but I don’t have the time or the motivation to put in the relevant social media (nor do I really have the followers for it to matter!).

It’s not about the numbers! Yes, it’s disheartening when I have a look and they’re the same but at the end of the day, do I care? Not really! I like making things and I can do that regardless of who watches or reads! If my blog or YouTube channel were to become something I could do for a living, I’d rather it would be because people really liked my content and not because I tweeted seven times about a post.

I’d rather save the repeat promo for content I’m really, really proud of like the vlog I uploaded last week which is a bit sad but very raw and I’m very proud of it and it’s linked below.

It’s a tricky balance because I care a lot about my blog and YouTube channel and I really love the content I’m making and I want to share it with people, I think I just need to shake the mindset that I’m doing it for ‘views’ or to ‘grow online’ or for other people and I need to just make things for me.

Thank you for reading (like a lot, I really appreciate it),

Sophie xx

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my latest vlog:

Life after uni – what’s next?

2018, lifestyle, student

Hello!

At the beginning of May I handed in my final university project, next week I’ll receive my final results and on July 10th I will be fully gowned up and walking across that stage to collect a fake scroll (to get the real one in the post three months later).

And for the first time in my life, I don’t know what’s next.

Sure, when you’re picking your GCSEs you think the possibilities are endless, and the same when choosing A Levels or Sixth Form or College. Then when choosing a university course and a university and whether to go to university and sure those are all big decisions, but it was a natural progression – from Primary School, to Secondary School, to A Levels, to university it’s all been a fairly easy ladder to climb. Now I’m at the top and there’s isn’t an obvious step but if I don’t pick one I’m falling on my ass.

It’s scary – I’ve been in education since I was 4 years old and at 21, I now have to make a life for myself. There was a point where I found this exciting but now it’s absolutely terrifying.

But I’ve got to do something about it – I’ve got about five weeks between now and graduation and I’ve got to balance sorting out the details of moving home, deciding what stuff to put into storage and what I need to take with me, alongside building my portfolio on instagram and my blog (both a work in progress but I’ve put days of work into this thing so far) alongside applying for jobs and trying my best to get myself started on life in the real world.

I’d hoped to not have to move home – where I’m from is in the middle of nowhere and I know I’m going to have to move out again whenever I do get a job but it’s just not worked out that way as of yet. My boyfriend is just waiting to hear back from a couple of companies about potential jobs and I’m waiting back to hear from a bunch of applications but currently not holding out a lot of hope. I have so many ideas of projects I’m so passionate about but they’re just not an option right now.

So what’s next? It’s a waiting game – doing everything I can to build a portfolio that’s truly reflective of me and my skill and make a dent in the worlds I’d love to be a part of. I have a lot of big ideas and I feel I could really make a good addition to a creative, digital media team but I just need to find something that’s fit me and that I fit in to. A waiting game and a work in progress.

It’s all very scary – I’m feeling very overwhelmed and lost by the whole situation which then makes it even more difficult to feel motivated to keep applying and keep doing the best I can. There’s a lot going on in my brain right now and I’m trying to work through it – I’m making lots of blog and YouTube content and this portfolio is going to take another week or two to finish. But I think there’s progress. At least I hope there is.

If and when I do get a job, I’ll probably post about it on Twitter or Instagram first so be sure to follow me there if you want to know as soon as. My socials are always linked down below!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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My most recent YouTube videos – I’ve got a couple of other vlogs and chatty videos I’m planning to upload in the next few days so please do subscribe!