This is my Uniform

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

So I’ve talked in outfit posts before how I have a funny relationship with my body and the clothes I wear – when I started uni I was the lightest I’ve been (in my adult life) and now I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m starting a new workout routine and trying my best to eat as healthily as I can (we can but try and I really like biscuits) but my relationship with clothes is as rocky as it’s always been.

It kind of hit me all at once the other day – it was just as it started getting really warm in the UK, I don’t presently have any shorts that fit me and all my dresses were in the wash because I’d already worn them that week, so I pulled this outfit together.

I was intending to take a picture of me in this outfit but I got too nervous about it so I made this image instead… [ new look jumpsuit ] [ boohoo jumper ]

The trousers are actually a playsuit I picked up in New Look a couple of weeks ago and I thought a v-neck oversized jumper made it a bit less formal and a bit more convenient.

But I got scared, put on the leggings I feel safe in and one of two band tees I actually feel comfortable wearing outside the house, even though it was so hot and wearing black probably wasn’t a good idea.

tee: Busted merch / leggings: ‘Cosy’ from Primark / hoodie: my boyfriend’s wardrobe (also Primark, I think)

I would have been more comfortable in the yellow outfit, but I was so put off by the idea of wearing something different to usual and more out there that I could bring myself to do it.

That’s quite sad and a little bit pathetic, let’s be real.

By why do I have this uniform that I’m so scared to step outside of? That’ll be because experimenting with fashion or trying something a little bit different may draw attention to myself, which isn’t something I’m massively concerned about. But it would also draw attention to my body and, to me, my whole body is a problem area so in my head trying something a bit different is like inviting people to scrutinise my big ol’ problem area.

Again – sad and pathetic. I know it’s dumb, I know no one’s scrutinising my body as much as I am and if they are they should probably reevaluate their priorities. But I’m so self conscious I just can’t help it.

Though I’m not sure I want to change it – I love the idea of having a capsule wardrobe, but is a capsule wardrobe meant to conform to this ‘uniform’ I’ve given myself or is it meant to be a series of really adaptable pieces that all fit with each other? I feel like it’s meant to be the latter, so it doesn’t feel like a uniform but it’s still minimalistic.

Maybe I’ll start being braver, I think this starts with getting rid of more of the clothes that don’t fit me and finding clothes that are a step out of my comfort zone but still make me feel comfortable because they actually fit me. Who knows – I’m sure I’ll still have days where I stick to my uniform (because leggings and a tee s a staple, let’s be real).

Whatever happens, I’m sure I’ll document it but this is my declaration – I’m going to try and step away from my uniform.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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one day, I’ll love you | outfit

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

Let’s be flat out honest here – I really enjoy doing outfit posts and talking about body image and body confidence, so I wanted to do a follow up to this post, which was quite negative in conclusion and I got a fair few messages from people who were worried about me after that one.

I’ve always had a mixed relationship with my body – as soon as I hit secondary school it’s like my brain suddenly flicked a switch and I labelled myself as ‘fat’. The battle began with hating myself, comparing myself to my stick thin friends and staring at myself in the mirror at dance with nothing but pure resentment for myself. I reached a sort of peace in 2014/15 when my tumblr blog was a thing and every time I posted a picture I got lots of strangers on the internet telling me they loved how I looked (also my hair was lush).

Then I came to uni and got a boyfriend in second year I piled on a whole load of weight. Like 4 stone of weight. And I don’t say that to evoke reaction or sympathy (though there’s nothing to be sympathetic for), it’s mostly for my sake – I can’t be as ‘ashamed’ of my weight if I put it in writing, right?

Cardigan: Primark (mens). Long sleeved t-shirt: Long Tall Sally. Culottes: Primark. Sneakers: Primark.

Whenever I see people talking about body image, I see them talk about good days and bad days and I think the thing that hits me the most is I don’t have ‘good days’ with my body. There’s no point anymore where I like or feel happy in my body. So when I was thinking about what I wanted to wear for my next outfit post, I decided I wanted to wear something that made me feel fabulous.

And I couldn’t think of anything.

I don’t feel that surge of confidence in an outfit anymore, I have days where I feel less self conscious but that’s mostly because I’m wearing something that drowns me and no one can tell what kind of body shape I have in the sack I am wearing. But that’s not the same. I don’t ever feel that surge of self confidence that I used to get when I looked like this.

Heels: New Look. Jeans: M&S Tall. Top: Primark. Jacket: Probably Primark, I don’t know it was 2015.

But you know? This feeling isn’t necessarily a bad thing and it’s definitely not the end of the world (hear me out) – because it’s knowing that it won’t last forever that’s important.

Recently I’ve been coming to terms with my weight in a way I haven’t done since I was about 12 – 9 years ago. I’m not happy with it and I don’t like my body (at all) but doing anything about it right now isn’t a priority – I know I fairly recently wrote a post called ‘you can keep your health kick‘ but other than trying to eat a bit healthier, making time to go to the gym and workout isn’t something I have time to prioritise right now.

And if it bothered me that much I would prioritise it, so I’m deciding not to.

Just this week I placed a rather large ASOS order exclusively from the Plus Sized range and I’m really excited to have a bunch of new clothes that will fit me more comfortably! I’m slowly phasing out my wardrobe so I 1) have less clothes because wow I can hoard for Britain and 2) have clothes that actually fit me! Rather than a half a wardrobe I don’t entirely hate and half a wardrobe I’ll ‘wear when I lose weight’.

I’m working on getting my fabulous back.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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I hate that my boyfriend is so silly when he takes pictures for me because then the photos that are actually okay (like this one) are at dumb ass angles.

what I got for Christmas 2017

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

Christmas is a time full of love, thankfulness and gifts. I wasn’t sure about writing this post but looking at the gifts I got this year and the ones I have chosen to include, this isn’t a list of me showing off how much money my family spent on me and I think the controversy around these posts are kind of centred around that. Assuming people that write these posts are in the same mindset as me, these posts aren’t boasting about anything – I just want to share some of the wonderful, thoughtful gifts I got, take some pretty pictures and show thanks to those who went to the trouble of buying me a gift.

So with that in mind, let’s get into what I got for Christmas this year!

Long story short, I have a collection of cactuses and plants (some real, some felt) and I’ve named them all David – David I is a felt plant from Tiger, David II is a real succulent that I always forget to water, David III is a DIY cushion that I never made, David IV is an Ikea toy, David V, VI and VII are a set of three plants from Ikea and this, is David VIII. I love my little collection and I love that these coasters can be arranged in whatever fashion I like, I think it’s so fun. My mum has a way of finding the weirdest and most amazing little gifts.

It’s only within the last six months of the year that I’ve really got in to any kind of gaming. I’m still completely head over heels obsessed with Overwatch and the depth to which the creators go with the characters and their story arcs. The basic story about this character, Bastion, is that he’s a kind of robot built to fight in a war – the one in the game gets lost and finds a bird in the woods who becomes his friends. Ganymede, the bird, teaches him about love and friendship and the robot essentially becomes sentient. So this is a Ganymede toy and the box is shaped like Bastion’s head and it’s really cute.

I don’t know if I’ve done the game any justice in my description but if you want to add me on X-Box my handle is ‘sophieislame’.

To be honest, I was really awful whenever my mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas because there really wasn’t anything I wanted this year. But she did offer to take me to Long Tall Sally so I picked up this gorgeous loose turtle neck jumper in grey and my new favourite yellow jumper. I’m really into yellow right now and the fact that the sleeves are long enough that I can actually wear it properly make me unreasonably happy. Also it’s like wearing a hug it’s the softest thing I have worn in a very long time.

I don’t know if there’s much to be said but wow I’ve got a lot of food this year, like a lot. I’ve eaten so badly.

Also shout out to the honey roast ham my mum made because oh my god I’m salivating thinking about it.

It could be said that I’m somewhat of a stationery nerd – I have a rather large collection of pens and, my oh my, did my family build on this – my mum bought me two different sets of pens and a cute little elephant pencil case with stencils for my bullet journal (I’m actually dead excited to start putting these to use!) and my sister bought me a book on fancy lettering and brush pens to go with it! I’m so excited to learn about writing all fancy and making my bullet journal just that little bit more beautiful. It’s going to be stunning.

Now I don’t think it would be a ‘what I got for Christmas post’ if I didn’t include what my gorgeous boyfriend got for me this year – he’s truly spoiled me, pre-ordering the new Fall Out Boy album, a ‘merch voucher’ for when we see them in January, a Hufflepuff scarf (that I’ve wanted for so long) and amongst other things, this frame – that makes absolutely no sense out of context. Here’s the context – two of my favourite albums of all time are ‘Save Rock and Roll’, Fall Out Boy, and ‘This Is War’, Thirty Seconds to Mars, (let’s leave all opinions to one side please and thank you) and I’ve been saying for ages that when we have a permanent space I want to get them properly framed and hang them in an office space. So Lucas bought me new copies of both albums so I could cut them up or whatever if I needed to and then drew this wonderful interpretation and stuck fairy lights on the frame. I actually adore it, I think it’s really cute and I’m excited to have it in years to come.

This post ended up being way longer than I thought it would, but tell me all about what you got for Christmas in the comments! I feel like the memories that come with the presents are the best bit and that’s what I want to savour.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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August favourites

2017, lifestyle, music, student

Hello!

I’ve not done a favourites for a while, but it’s nice to be able to look back on the month and pick out the things I enjoyed the most. Lots of new content came out in July and August and I spent a lot of money on things I really didn’t need, so I really love the selection of things I’ve picked this month!

Image result for spider-man homecoming

Spider-Man Homecoming: Spider-Man has been my ultimate favourite superhero since I first saw The Amazing Spider-Man with Andrew Garfield in the cinema – his wit, morality and agility are just everything I would like to be really (who wouldn’t want to swing so high you feel like flying – yes please!) so I was nervous seeing this film. I had every faith in Tom Holland having seen him in Civil War but there’s still every chance this movie was going to be awful. But it wasn’t! It was incredible! Every film has pros and cons and no film is without it’s flaws, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and couldn’t recommend it more (and omg Zendaya).

‘You’ – dodie: A new dodie EP? Of course I’m obsessed. I treated myself to a bundle with a t-shirt, the EP and a vinyl version of the EP and I just love it. I love how the yellow of the case brightens up my room, I love having a studio version of ‘6/10’ (because god knows that song is my anthem) and ‘Would you be so kind?’ is just so happy. On the first EP, ‘Absolutely Smitten’ was the token really happy clappy mood lifting song and wybsk is the ‘You’ equivalent and I just can’t put into words how much it makes me smile.

"Chai! Chai! Chai!" | Reaper #LatteArt from @kyoffee. #Overwatch

A post shared by Overwatch (@playoverwatch) on

Overwatch ‘Summer Games’: I think I’ve mentioned it fairly regularly – I’m obsessed with Overwatch, it’s all been very sudden but I’m now properly invested in my first and only video game and there’s been a fun event with extra things to collect and a fun new game to play and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

My elephant water bottle: We all know about my major obsession with elephants, but I was going to Primark to buy plain black t-shirts to work at Reading and it was in the aisle you have to go down towards the tills and it was all by itself and it was calling my name. It’s just gorgeous and I could never resist. I love it.

From Ikea’s website

Ikea shelving unit with wheels: For some reason, I went to Ikea three times in August and the first time I went I spotted this unit that I became utterly obsessed with it. On the second trip, I resist and it was that third trip that I gave in and just did it. I’m not recommending just spending money like I did if you can’t afford it but I knew exactly where it was going to go in my room, what I was going to put on it and how gorgeous it would look and I don’t regret it for a single second. I love it and it looked beautiful.

Jeffrey the bear: In August my sister was doing a summer course at Arts University Bournemouth and I went over to see her for the day. My boyfriend and I love this arcade cafe place called Fun Central and we’d decided we were going to win the bear that was worth 6,000 tickets for sure on this, our third time to the arcade. Shock horror, a new bigger bear worth 14,000 tickets had been added but my bear had been reduced to 5,000 tickets. We totally smashed it and I named him Jeffrey. I love him so much there aren’t even words.

My new hair colour: I haven’t really photographed it properly at all but I finally got my hair fixed at the hairdresser! It’s a deeper pink than I wanted (I was going for red) but I adore it because the blue is gone and it’s actually a nice colour and I’m still growing it out – think I’m going to get it dyed properly again in December when I’m next home and can go to the salon again. Can’t wait.

jelly > meringe > melted chocolate > sprinkles

The best dessert I’ve ever made: Just a silly thing I got very excited about – strawberry jelly with crumbled meringue, drizzled in melted chocolate and sprinkled with an excess of brightly coloured sprinkles. I recommend stirring it all around and mixing it all together but I’m very excited to have it again soon, I’m not going to lie.

Reading Festival: I wrote a whole blog post about why I loved working at Reading Festival, but I wanted to include it here as well because I’m still just so in awe that I was lucky enough to get to go.

VEDA: I’ve known for a few months now that I wanted to take part in VEDA and I’ve been noting video ideas for that long. But you know what? I never thought I’d actually manage it – 31 videos, let alone all of them being edited and uploaded by 6pm! But I did it, and you can watch the whole playlist here.

Wasn’t that a wild ride? I’m excited to do this again in September because September is my favourite month and my birthday month, very exciting! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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becoming plus sized | outfit

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello,

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a really long time – ever since my last outfit post I knew this is something I wanted to continue and then I picked up this gorgeous yellow, floral playsuit from Primark and I knew I wanted to do an outfit post in it, talking about the size I had to buy it in.

It’s a size 20 – I’ve been putting on weight like a small freight train this year and it’s something I’ve been struggling to cope with. It’s not the first time I’ve bought something in that size – I’m a lover of baggy, over sized clothes anyway – but it’s the first time I’ve felt I’ve really needed that size. And I won’t lie, it hurt.

My weight has always been a sensitive spot for me – as I spoke about in the self confidence post – I can’t remember a time of my life where I didn’t feel like I wanted to be smaller. All through school I was always too tall and I felt like every part of me wobbled. Everyone I seemed to know was someone who was stick thin without trying and could eat whatever they wanted without ever putting on a pound, especially since I spent my whole life dancing I’d get home from school, go to dance and all of my dance friends were the same. They’d prance around like dainty ballerina’s and I was the comic relief elephant in a tutu, or at least that’s how it felt.

Having tried to document healthy eating and fitness routines and whatnot on my blog before, I feel like the phrase ‘the heaviest I’ve ever been’ has been cycled around quite a lot, but it’s also a sign of the massive amount of weight I put on this year.

I started a new Instagram to try and document healthier eating and at the beginning, it worked – I put up videos of the ab challenge I was doing (and gave up on), I was making a conscious effort to eat a lot better and I had time for it all. Now I don’t – I wrote about it all on Instagram last night so I won’t repeat myself here.

I have no problem with buying big clothes – I tend to buy the biggest size I can for comfort anyway and I once bought a 6XL t-shirt just to see how big it would be, but even in my baggy clothes I don’t feel happy. Sitting at my desk right this second I can feel the weight of my stomach and my thighs in my chair and I don’t feel healthy, it genuinely makes me want to cry.

I wanted the conclusion of this blog post to be ‘but look at this photos! I’m happy look at me’ but I have to be honest – I hate all of these photos. Picking out the best ones was so hard because I don’t like any of them, I can pick out flaws in all of them and I really hate them.

The real game changer for me was that when I was chubby in school, I knew how to work angles in photos to be the most flattering they could be and now, I can’t feign skinny from any angle – my tummy shows in every photo and I just hate it.

I feel like I’m fighting against an invisible wall – I can see myself in the distance looking healthier, I know what I have to do to get there but there’s something holding me back. Whether it’s lack of motivation, lack of will power to resist unhealthy food or people putting me down and not supporting the changes I want to make, I sit at my desk feeling like I can’t do it and drowning my sorrows in food.

Slimming World has been brought to my attention recently – I’ve spoken to a few people who’ve done it and I’ve had a few people reach out to me and say that it works in ways they never thought it would but I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and have someone read out my weight. I can’t do it. I just don’t think I can.

Hopefully if I do another outfit post it will be in a happier tone from someone who’s lost weight, but for now I just don’t know. I’m going to work at Reading festival today where I will have no control over what I’m eating, but when I’m back I’m going to try again because that’s all I can do – keep trying.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

I don’t like it but this one does make me laugh, it’s so 2005

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self confidence | outfit

2017, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

I keep talking about wanting to try new things on my blog and that’s precisely what I’m doing – I’ve talked before about how I love fashion, not in a sense of following trends but in putting outfits together and trying to recreate things I’ve seen on Instagram or Twitter with my own wardrobe.

Summer is a new challenge for me right now because I’m trying to balance the warmer weather and bringing out my more summery clothes, with feeling the lowest I’ve ever felt and being more insecure about my body than I’ve ever been before (and also my heaviest).

Basically, anything that shows off my arms or my stomach is a no, which isn’t easy in summer.

This outfit is made up of a dress I got from Asda (I think) last summer and a denim jacket I bought from Primark last summer, sometimes accompanied by a flower crown headband I bought from Flying Tiger and sunglasses I got from EE at Summer in the City, a YouTube convention, in 2015 for free. The main reason I wore my burgundy Dr Martens was because I knew I was going to have to do a lot of walking that day and they’re my comfiest shoes but also they look a little bit badass.

I’m really enjoying swing dresses right now because they hide my tummy and I still feel a tiny bit pretty and feminine. But I won’t wear them without tights and a jacket – I tend to go for this denim jacket, a white kimono with elephants on my mum bought me last year or an oversized checked shirt.

Self confidence is something I have basically no memory of having – there was a period of about three months in 2015 where I loved my hair and how I looked and how many notes my selfies got on tumblr but before and after that time I’ve really struggled to be comfortable with my body – I’m not a naturally skinny person, I put on weight by looking at food and I hate it more than anything. When I start to think about what I don’t like about myself I could do on and eventually list every part of my body, maybe it’s stuff that nobody else will notice but I rarely wear my high top converse anymore because I don’t like how they make my legs look even bigger than they already are.

I have about five pairs of high top converse that I just can’t bring myself to wear.

There’s a lot to be said for just loving what you’ve got because it’s what you’re stuck with and what I always used to say was ‘fake it till you make it’ because if I took selfies like I was one of the pretty girls at school then I’d start to feel like them and in 2015 that worked but I don’t think that would work anymore – I’m not jealous of how people look, I’m jealous of how skinny they are, how good they are at make-up, how much more creatively expressive they are than me, how much freelance work they’re getting; how happy they are. And that’s not really stuff you can ‘fake till you make’.

But I did like this outfit. And I love the sunny weather. It was a nice day out with my boyfriend and even though I’m struggling to find the good days right now, maybe one day it will get better – maybe I’ll lose weight and start to feel better about myself.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

Obviously can’t go without thanking my wonderful boyfriend Lucas for taking all these photos for me.

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March favourites!

2017, lifestyle, student

Hello!

I was fully prepared to start this post with something along the lines of ‘there aren’t as many favourites this month because I’ve been busy and stressed and there’ll be a post about it next week’, but when I actually got round to planning it all, I actually thought of ten favourites pretty easily which made me really happy. Let’s not do this awkward ‘so here’s my favourites for this month!’ and just start.

Supermarket Flowers – Ed Sheeran

I’ve been obsessed with this album ever since it came out but I wanted to save it for the new series of monthly music blog posts I have planned, but I couldn’t not include this song. When I first listened to it I knew exactly in what situation I would like to cover it but then I had to face that situation and it was all very sad (I know, I’ve talked about it enough) – I just couldn’t leave this song out of my favourites for this month because I absolutely adore it.

being in a musical!

Not really a physical thing I can photograph but my friend is part of the drama and performance society and with the dance season coming to an end and talking about how much I miss musical theatre, she suggested I audition for the musical. These auditions happened literally two days after the last dance competition of the season because apparently I don’t like giving myself any time to breathe! But we’re doing a medley of five musicals and they’re a brilliant selection of musicals and I’m really excited.

42 coloured pens

Now, I’ve always been a stationery lover – when I was in primary school there was literally nothing more exciting than buying a whole new pencil case. Since starting my bullet journal back in January, I’ve been desperate for a bigger variety in colours of fineliner to colour code and just make my journal a little bit prettier. I found this pack on Amazon for a really good price (considering if you buy the 20 pack in WHSmith it’s normally upwards of £20) and I sent a link to my mum to show her one of the things I was going to buy once I have more money and then she treated me to them.

I’ve been showing literally everyone I know, I’m very excited about these pens.

flippy shorts

I was having a browse through boohoo and I found these shorts – they’re gorgeous and their name made me laugh so I added them to my basket (at this point I was adding a lot to my basket). I then placed a huge boohoo order and it all arrived and I couldn’t be happier – not only does the name ‘flippy shorts’ still entertain me, they’re really comfy and because they’re plus sized they’re really flattering and make me feel happy and comfortable wearing them. Cannot wait for summer to wear them properly!

David the 4th

I’m not sure how much I’ve mentioned this, but I have a collection of cactus’s called David – it started with a felt one I bought from Tiger, then I got a real succulent from Ikea, then I bought a ‘make your own cushion’ cactus (again from Tiger) and now, the newest addition to my David family – David IV, the cute, aesthetic, fake plant from Primark. I’ve decided my room for the new house in July is going to have an elephant, space aesthetic and I’m going to have lots of plants and flowers. I’m so excited to have a room I can actually decorate, it’s going to be so good.

elephant light

I got a bit homeware happy when I went into Primark at the weekend but when I saw this fairy-light-esque copper elephant I knew I needed it for my elephant, space, plant aesthetic. I have no words for how much I love elephants and literally anything with elephants on it is destined to be in my life. Except an elephant candle, because I don’t want to burn an elephant.

cookie dough ice cream

Like I keep mentioning – I’ve faced a very sad death this month (I know I sound like a broken record and I hate it too) but I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to continue my (minimal) attempt at healthy eating and losing weight right now. I’ve had a lot of ice cream this month. I have ice cream in the freezer right now as I write this on April 4th at 2.18pm after saying I was going to stop eating everything I wanted in April. March was both a good and bad eating month – good in terms of how much ice cream and chocolate I ate, bad in terms of how much weight I keep putting on and and my consequent self-esteem. I’m trying to get a handle on that in April.

asdf movie 10

From sad, over-eating to mindless, cartoon comedy. I’ve been a fan of the asdf movie series and their creator, TomSka for about seven years now and asdf movie 10 came out on April 1st, actually so not really a March favourite but I’m including it anyway. It’s mindless, it’s quotable, it’s got a song to accompany it and it’s the same short-skit comedy that I’ve loved through asdf movie 1 through 9. Thoroughly enjoyable watch and worth 2 minutes 15 of your day.

nose piercing

I got my nose pierced two days after my last dance comp and three days after my nanny passed away so it was a combination of ‘I won’t have to take it out for comps’ and ‘fuck it, you only live once’ – that day was a very brave day for me, with auditioning for a musical as well. I wasn’t sure how I’d look with a nose piercing but I actually love it – the flower crown filter on snapchat makes me look as indie as I feel and I have further become the model image of a ‘white girl’, but like a plus sized version.

family

Now for the soppy bit – my family are brilliant, but I don’t see them that often and I wouldn’t have described us as particularly close just because as me and my cousins have grown up we’ve not seen each other nearly as regularly as we used to and we just missed out on continuing to get to know each other, I guess. But with everything that’s happened, I’ve seen more of my family in the last month than I have probably in the last ten years and it’s been amazing – we’ve found new common ground and we have a group chat on WhatsApp now. Jokes aside, I’m so grateful for my family and I hope this will mark a new start in making sure we make the most of each other while we’re still here.

I wanted to end this post on a family note but wow it got a bit depressing. I know I’ve been banging on about this family thing and over my other social medias I have talked about it a little bit – I’m not keeping it a secret on my blog but I do have a full length post planned to go up next week where I want to talk about it in more detail, so I don’t want to end up repeating myself. Sorry for being so sporadic and unreliable on this blog – it’s a little bit of a reflection of my brain and mindset right now.

Thank you for reading and sticking with me – it’s very much appreciated.

Sophie xx

 

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the industry that wants women to be smaller than 13 year old girls

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I work in a clothing store – it’s a lovely job, I love what I do – but I was looking at our sizing charts the other day and noticed something that made me angry and sad in equal measure.

Looking at women’s sizing and girl’s sizing, a women’s size 8 and size 10 are smaller in their chest/bust measurements than a girls size 13.

They’re expecting women who are a size 8 or 10 to be smaller than an average 13 year old girl.

This just blew my mind – in a world where people are trying to promote body positivity and help women feel empowered and strong in what they do and how they look, the industry is still making clothes that allow 13 year old girls to be bigger than the smallest sized women?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t make clothes for smaller women, but I just don’t think these sizes reflect what size children and woman are!

Looking at the boys and mens sizes – a 13 year old boys top has a 36″ chest, while a size Small has a 36-38″ chest. There’s a progression from one to the other rather than the ridiculous overlap in the women’s clothing sizes.

As soon as a 14 or 15 year old girl moves from kids clothing to adult clothing, they’re going to be trying on a 12 or a 14 and wondering why they’re not a smaller size and they don’t need that – this might be one of the reasons for girls developing insecurities about their size and weight so early on, not just skinny, photoshopped celebrities in magazines.

Comparing the boys and girls sizings, it’s clear that the industry is only targeting women – it’s a really clear reflection of what’s going on and how they want women to feel. Not even women – girls who are just moving out of kids clothes into a brand new part of their lives. They’re about to experience a huge variety of new shops and new styles and it’s a chance for girls to really find they’re style and experiment with who they are and who they want to be and the fact they’re already going in thinking they’re ‘fat’ and ‘oversized’ and just implying they’re not skinny or good enough is the worst thing for them and their mental health.

When seeing these numbers are work, my colleague and I picked up a size 8 hoodie and a size 13 hoodie. The considerable difference genuinely baffles me and it makes me sad for women’s clothing and girls getting into this new section of their life.

But what do you think? Do you think this has a severe impact on how girls grow up? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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february favourites

2017, lifestyle, music, photography, student, travel

Hello!

This month seems to have flown by – I can’t believe we’re already on the third month of the year. All of my favourites from February seemed to have blurred into January, so there are a few crossovers but I’ll justify that when I get to it.

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My new lipsticks: Maybelline ColorSensational 150 + 157 – they’re the same brand as the lipsticks I talked about in my lipstick blog post but they were on two for £10 and I couldn’t resist. I’m trying out a few more pink-toned shades and this was the perfect excuse for a Barbie pink and a more subtle dusky pink. The one thing I will say is that I find the colours aren’t as strong as I expected and they’re very, very creamy – something I didn’t notice with the nude one I already had, probably because of the colour.

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All the new make-up from my sister – my sister had a clear out of the make-up she had doing the ‘cruelty free’ thing that’s been going round YouTube and offered it to me. Now I know how that seems – I now own all the make-up that my sister threw out because it wasn’t cruelty free? My argument is – I’m learning from her and will not be buying products that test on animals in the future (I’ll need to check Maybelline New York) but for now, the money has already been spent and it would be a waste of a decent product to not use it at all so I’m going to use them with no intend to repurchase. Does that make it okay?

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obviously this isn’t the album artwork, this is just me pretending I’m funny

Dirty Laundry / All Time Low – thinking about it, All Time Low haven’t released any new music since I was in sixth form. I was beyond excited for the new song and when listening to it for the first time and watching the video, I wasn’t too sure but then having it on repeat, I really love it. I’m so excited for Last Young Renegades to be released in June and I’m beyond excited for the two dates of UK tour I’m seeing in a couple of weeks. All Time Low still stand to be my favourite band even in my seven or eight years of following them, they’re my perfect genre of music.

Dance competitions – my dance teams have competed in two comps so far this season and I’ve actually really enjoyed it, surprisingly so. I won’t pretend I was excited for the season – I loved dance last year but comp days were dreaded and I hated them. This year I’ve really thoroughly enjoyed them and I think it’s because I understand it more or maybe they’re just giving off a different vibe this year, but it’s fab. The first comp we went to, Future Cheer, we placed surprisingly well in and we weren’t expecting it which is always fun and the second comp my mum and boyfriend managed to come to so it was really exciting to be able to show them what I’ve been training for. My boyfriend has never seen me dance before so it meant a lot to me that he was there.

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My current bullet journal spreads – I know I mentioned my bullet journal in my last favourites and it had its own blog post but I’m finally settling into it and exploring more – my weekly spreads are starting to look prettier and I’ve been using a habit tracker to. I love that I can do literally anything I want with my bullet journal and how expressive it can be. I’m starting to learn more about writing in pretty fonts and making my journal most effective for me and I love it.

Work experience at BBC Three – it’s only been three days but already it’s brilliant, I’ve learnt so much about the industry, I feel so involved and I’m so impressed by BBC Three as a production company and as a division of the BBC. Everyone is so friendly and inclusive and I’m getting a chance to have a go at everything and it’s so much fun. So far I’ve been doing research for a couple of departments and helping with rights reports but hopefully I’ll get to go out on a shoot, help with some video editing and maybe work with the social media team. I’d love to write something for the BBC Three website too but I’m not sure if I’m confident enough in my writing for that. I’ll do a full run down of the week on my uni blog so tune in for that at the weekend.

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My new boohoo bag – I wanted a smarter bag for the BBC and I love this one – it’s so slouchy and comfy and I can literally chuck everything in. Normally I carry my computer everywhere and it’s really refreshing not having it with me and carrying a smaller bag.

Peri peri chicken with rice salad – my boyfriend and I tried out a bunch of new recipes when I was trying to go on a health kick and this peri peri chicken recipe is incredible – we’ve becoming obsessed with infusing everything with honey. If you’re interested, I’ll do a recipe post with how to make it, though I found it in Kayla Itsines 28 Day Bikini Body book thing.

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The new house – I don’t know if I mentioned it but my friends and I have sorted a house for third year and I’m so excited to move into it! I’ve already made a bunch of plans for my room that I’m really excited about. I want a canvas with elephants on it to hang down the back of my bed and I want it to be covered in fairy lights and polaroid pictures, the whole room (and house) will be covered in fairy lights and I want everything to have a place and have space to feel relaxed. I can’t wait to have a proper place to call my own and I’m so, so excited to move away from Student Housing Company – anyone looking for student residences, don’t live with student housing company: they’ll scam you for your money and you’ll live in the tiniest scabbiest flat there is.

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Maybelline New York Master Precise Liquid Liner – I was looking for a new pen eyeliner as mine wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do and I think I’d been annoyed by trains so I was in a bad enough mood to justify spending money on make-up. It was a bit of a gamble – I know I like felt too own liners and the felt tip bit of this liner was longer and I can make a really precise wing, I really love it. And those are my favourites for last month!

Now for a couple of admin bits – an update in terms of working out and exercise, it’s come to a bit of a halt, especially since I’ve been doing 6am starts with commuting to London to get to the BBC and not getting back till gone 8pm. I’m very, very tired. I still want to start doing home work outs it’s just really discouraging when I have a 2 by 4 foot space in my room and that’s it. But right now, I’m so sleepy.

I also wanted to talk about why I didn’t upload a photography post last month because I really did try – I couldn’t think of a theme so my plan was to take my camera out and take photos every 20 paces and piece it all together to make a video so it could be what I uploaded to my YouTube channel for the week as well as being my photography post! But my camera ran out of battery and I ran out of time to edit and it’s an idea I still really want to do but I want to have the time to do it well so I don’t want to rush it. Hope that’s okay!

I also plan to include more films in the upcoming favourites because I loved writing my La La Land review but the only films I really watched in February were La La Land and Split, which I didn’t enjoy particularly but I wasn’t moved enough to write a blog post about it, I’m really excited to see Logan in a couple of weeks though.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep up with blogging while I’m at the BBC but these long days are really taking it out of me right now.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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