a REAL everyday outfit post

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

I love writing outfit posts – I like talking about fashion and experimenting with fashion and pretending I can blend in with the instagram models with outfit pictures (even though we all know I can’t).

But with this in mind, if we believed Instagram it can be hard to believe that some of these influencers and bloggers wear the most amazing clothes everyday and they always flounce about in heels and find scenic places to take edgy photos and they always have a willing partner/friend/top notch photographer.

I think we all know this is not the case. Or at least, sometimes we need reminding of it.

So this is a genuine everyday outfit – I thoroughly recommend it. Primark cosy leggings (the only leggings I’ve found that are warm and not see through), an Overwatch Lunar Ops t-shirt that you can’t actually see, my Solent graduation hoodie (because I’m feeling very nostalgic for uni, it’s incredibly comfy and it was clean, what more can you ask for?), my Dr Martens and my Primark mens coat – this is my most likely everyday uniform.

I’ve got my hair tied up in french plaits because it was a bit greasy, I’m wearing a bit of make-up but not enough to stop my face looking like the actual moon and you know what? That’s fine! This is what I actually look like most of the time.

If I had my way I’d be wearing pyjamas, no make-up and scraping my hair back everyday to live on the sofa doing nothing but scrolling through Instagram and watching CW superhero shows but that doesn’t look too good on Instagram or the blog, nor does it pay very well.

Sometimes my ‘everyday’ changes – sometimes it’s a pair of jeans and a sweater, sometimes it’s a knitwear jumper, I often wear my Primark fake-vans instead of my Docs, but there are so many aspects of everyday that aren’t as full on as my usual outfit posts. It’s nice to make an effort and share a new outfit or something new I’ve put together and that’s pretty normal too.

Social media, particularly Instagram, is an interesting place – a lot of influencers at the moment have been criticised for not showing ‘real life’ online and not being explicit that their feed is a highlight reel of their lives. Personally, I think if anyone really believes that anyone really shares the ups, downs and realities of life and not just the best bits needs to properly reevaluate how they use Instagram.

But on the other hand, here’s my bit of reality. Here’s my everyday.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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A Winter Wedding Guest | outfit

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

The wedding I attend this weekend just gone has been a long time coming – my cousin and her fiancé gave us the ‘Save the Date’ cards in Summer 2017 and a year and a half later the day was finally here!

It seems like my side of the family have been fretting over what to wear for the last couple of months, but it was only really in January that mum and I really started to think there might not be anything to where.

And then I found this.

The Bright Read Jumpsuit of Dreams (it deserves the capitalisation) – a New Look number that was incredibly high quality, so comfortably easy to wear and was just absolutely stunning. I was so surprised by the length of the legs as I was properly expecting it to only come to my ankle as I’m pushing it a bit at 5’10” but it was just perfect.

And I found it in the sale – this only cost me £6! I’m so unbelievably proud  of this find – it retailed at over £30 full price so it was a proper bargain!

I knew I wanted the kind of look that was quite girly and feminine paired with a leather jacket and black heels to make it a bit edgier and show off my inner tomboy but this wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I think those are the best outfits – it all comes together, whether it’s what you thought it would be or not!

This leather jacket is from New Look on ASOS from the tall section which means it’s actually long enough for my arms and I’m utterly obsessed – it’ll definitely get more wear than just this wedding and I’m so excited for when it warms up a bit and I don’t have to wear a coat and this jacket will be just perfect.

The shoes are also New look but I now can’t find anything like them – they’re simple suede, black, chunky heels, traditionally uncomfortable and I soon opted for walking around the hotel barefoot and then I danced the night away.

But they look nice and that’s the important bit!

I also had my nails done, my sister helped me do my hair, I wore some earrings that my boyfriend’s mum generously gave me for Christmas and a necklace that my mum gave me for Christmas too. I don’t often feel like I’ve got all the details that tie together an outfit but I felt like I was owning it a little bit with this one.

I even convinced a nice boy to take pictures with me! Just joking, this is my gorgeous boyfriend Lucas – we didn’t try to coordinate outfits at all, but he’s cute and he wasn’t too reluctant when I pulled him up to the dance floor on maybe four separate occasions over the course of the night (or when I asked him to take outfit photos).

At the end of the day, even though I’d been losing weight and tried on so many dresses for this wedding, it wasn’t about any of that at all – as cheesy as it sounds it was about love, the love of a couple who we were privileged to witness join in matrimony (or however it goes!). It did make me feel incredibly romantic and really made me appreciate my boy and how lucky I am to have him in my life. It also really got me thinking about planning a wedding of our own but that’s for another day entirely.

Did I make the most of the wall of fairy lights? Of course I did! We may have struggled to find outfits but I think my sister, my mum and I scrubbed up pretty well – the belt on my jumpsuit definitely needed tightening a bit but I wanted to include this photo to show off the beautiful sleeves on this outfit!

The floaty lace gives it a gorgeous detail and standout feature but it’s also incredibly flattering – I’m so insecure about my upper arms and having something that wasn’t tight but didn’t hide them outright was just perfect and everything I was looking for. And of course I didn’t take my FitBit off!

Can we talk about how incredible my mum looks? She even looks like she’s taller than me which is a rare sight (she’s wearing heels and I’m not!). Her dress was from Dorothy Perkins I believe!

This little outdoor bandstand was the perfect backdrop – at night they had fairy lights and it was beautifully lit, but it was raining and dark so I stuck with the grey daylight photos this time round!

Picking an outfit for this wedding was tough – I had to come to the conclusion that I was never going to find the ‘perfect’ outfit for two reasons. 1) Being my height, any dress that’s gathered at the waist (which is most flattering on my figure) is not quite in the right place and 2) I wasn’t the size I wanted to be so nothing fit the way I hoped it would.

Don’t get me wrong – I love this outfit and I’m so glad I found it because it’s just stunning, but I was a bit worried about showing off my little tummy pouch and people thinking my dress was caught between my legs. I’ve made a lot of progress with a body positive mental attitude but I’ve still got a really long way to go.

But like I said – the wedding wasn’t about how I looked or what I wore, it was about the happy couple. It was such a beautiful ceremony and the whole day was just filled with love, family and fun – exactly the way a wedding should be! Having this boy by my side really was the cherry on top.

And with this gem I think I’ll leave it for today!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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just an outfit post

2018, fashion, lifestyle, mental health

Hello!

I really want to make an effort to talk more about fashion and outfit posts on my blog because it’s something I love and I feel so much more confident about and it’s something I’ve made huge progress on this year so I want to continue documenting that!

So I thought it would be nice if I could find somewhere cute to take the photos on a trip to London on Monday and we walked past this shrubbery outside a restaurant with fairy lights in it and I decided it was festive and cute and this would be it.

However I didn’t think to not be holding the bulging purple bag of my new NASA sweater and the hat and scarf it was too warm for, I didn’t think to shrug off my coat and actually show off my outfit, nor did I think to get any close ups of nice details. But it’s all lessons to learn for the future – can’t rush outfit photos!

This pinafore dress has become such a favourite of mine this month – I bought it in Primark and I really didn’t think it would suit me at all but it’s so flattering! I decided to wear it with a New Look shirt (similar), an old TU from Sainsburys cardigan and my men’s Primark coat.

The shirt and pinafore is something I hadn’t tried before, usually I wear knitwear jumpers with this dress but I really loved the shirt and I’ve decided I’m definitely wearing it on Christmas day.

The tights however – don’t recommend! You think chub rub is just a summer problem? Nah mate – I love how they look and they’re generally so comfy but after 15,000 steps it was a bit much and they actually broke skin, definitely learnt my lesson. They’re okay if you’re staying at home or not walking too far but long term? Don’t bother!

This might be the only cute candid photo of me ever taken. Ironic that it was taken on Monday and then on Tuesday I spent 2+ hours letting a very nice lady called Gemma change dye and cut my hair. I’ll be posting some pictures on Instagram in the next few days but for now these are the photos that I’ll be keeping for a while!

Sometimes I have a proper complex about liking a picture of myself – I don’t want people to think I’m vain or self obsessed because I love a picture of myself but y’know what? It’s so rare that I don’t hate a picture of myself that I am going to sing and shout about this picture and post it everywhere because why not make the most of a photo I actually like?

I think this is the first outfit post I’ve ever written without any particular kind of purpose or message – normally I have a statement about body confidence or my improving relationship with my body but I think my last post about finding some confidence still rings true. I’m still not 100% confident in my body or what I’m wearing, but I don’t think anybody is all of the time! I’m not scared of trying new things and I’m really working on refining my wardrobe and ruthlessly getting rid of the stuff I don’t wear even if I love it.

I’m kind of working on a long term blog post on the process of making my wardrobe into something a bit like but not quite a capsule wardrobe – if you have any tips or advice that would be very much appreciated!

So learning to write about fashion without having a huge point or a big meaningful conclusion is the next step I think! Maybe I need to write less and just let the pictures do the talking (and spend longer getting much nicer pictures that actually show the outfit) but we all know I love a ramble.

And I like reaching a conclusion! In the last week or so a few old friends from school that I knew literally years and years ago have reached out to me on Instagram and said they really like my content and my positivity online.

Being told I’m positive is news to me, I always feel like I’m super depressing and negative and I’ve been desperately trying to make more of an effort with this and I feel it’s paying off. So I like my blog posts to reach a positive conclusion, even if it’s not got a weighty point or covers a topic like body positivity.

Sure, I just wrote a couple of paragraphs about positivity but I can’t smile in an outfit photo because I’ve got a lil bit of a complex about my smile at the moment. But that’s not the point!

I really like this outfit, this pinafore and the fact it coordinates so well with my Dr Marten’s. It’s only from Primark but it’s really opened my eyes to trying things that ‘don’t stereotypically fit my body type’ and giving things a chance! Yes, I’m trying to change my body shape and this time next year I think I’ll have a whole different level of fitness and hopefully be a fairly different dress size, but coming to terms with my body and accepting it for what it is? It’s such a useful life skill to have that peace with yourself.

So no, I don’t have a ‘point’ – I wanted to write an outfit post, I thought it would be fun to take the pictures in London and it’s an outfit for the sake of an outfit. I like sharing and posts without a big conclusion are definitely a work in progress!

As always, thank you to my gorgeous boyfriend for taking the photos – we’re both getting the hang of this ‘fashion blogger’ malarky and I’m so grateful to have my number 1 cheerleader as my go to photographer.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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is this confidence? | outfit

2018, fashion, lifestyle, mental health, photography

Hello!

I’m really getting into fashion at the moment – I touched on this in an outfit post before but for a long time I felt trapped in leggings and oversized t-shirts and jumpers because I’d put on a lot of weight and I didn’t feel like I could justify experimenting with anything else.

But I’m moving on – I’m broadening my mindset and telling myself I deserve to experiment with fashion too! I’m also losing weight so a win on both fronts.

And I’m so loving experimenting with new styles – funky trousers that aren’t jeans or leggings are my jam at the moment (especially if they have an elasticated waist!) (and yes I just used the word ‘funky’ unironically).

trying with all my might to be edgy… (cardigan – TU at Sainsburys, tee – dorkface etsy, trousers – Nutmeg at Morrisons, boots – Primark)

I have a lot of t-shirts, I really need to have a ruthless sort out and throw away from of the ones I know I will never wear but I’m enjoying figuring out alternatives – different shirts and jumpers, mixing smarter looking trousers with more informal sweaters and shoes that might not be the most flattering but I think they look cool and they’re comfy so why not?

The feeling of leaving the house nervous and if I’m out in town or on the bus or popping to the shops, I often felt like the world was staring at me – if I heard laughter I’d assume it was aimed at me and I’d done something wrong for one reason or another. But it’s not! I now feel like I love what I’m wearing and I love this style I’m finding and I feel more me than I ever have.

It’s all a work in progress – whilst I’m in the process of redecorating my bedroom and I’ve just finished building a new wardrobe and transferring all my clothes over, I know I definitely need to have a sort out and a clear out, maybe even sell some of my clothes on depop or one of those sites? I’m really thinking about starting a capsule wardrobe and making myself think about the longevity of what I’m wearing – I need to stop buying things for the sake of memories or because it’s got Hufflepuff on it (very guilty) but I definitely need to do some more research first.

I’m really liking sharing what I’m wearing on instagram and writing about it here – it’s not a vanity thing, I don’t think anybody should be inspired by what I wear, but does any fashion blogger? I don’t think any fashion influencer probably didn’t start out thinking ‘wow I the way I dress is so great I need to tell other people so they start dressing like me’ – it’s almost certainly that they were really passionate about what they bought and wanted to share it!

Because who doesn’t get excited when you get a really good haul of new clothes?

Maybe one day I’ll be writing outfit posts that aren’t deep rooted in body image and self esteem, but for now – I’ve done my time talking about how difficult I find it to like what I see in the mirror (and boy when I’m at my tap dance classes seeing my reflection in the mirror is still bloody difficult) but having these positive posts about improving my relationship with my body is something that I 100% want to document and promote!

If you have any tips on having a capsule wardrobe or ways to ruthlessly cut down how many clothes you have please do let me know! I’m a bit of a stranger to all this!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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October photo diary

2018, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

I mean, we all know I’m a big fan of capturing memories, documenting things and taking photos, so is this post a surprise to anyone? Probably not!

I’ve always liked having printed photos – I’ve just finished an album of some of my uni photos and I’ve got a couple of other photo albums and scrapbooks on the go. I’ve recently started making the most of getting 50 free 6×4 from Snapfish each month and I love choosing which ones I want to print to capture my month.

So I thought I’d do a more digital scrapbook, photo album thing and make a little snapshot of my month so far! Not sure if this is something I’ll do regularly, because I’m really enjoying making physical photo albums and I don’t think a blog post of 50 photos to summarise my month will have the same long term impact (nor do I think anyone is really that interested) but for the moment, I’m sticking with it and this last week has been pretty manic so it’s a good time to share!

[ o c t o b e r ]

I actually really love Sainsburys TU clothing, but I can’t justifying buying any part of this outfit at the moment (though after payday is a different matter entirely)

the first crunchy leaves feet picture of the year!

I wasn’t joking when I said I got loads of photos printed – there’s 140+ in this batch

Sainsburys released these collectable Lego cards for children. My 22 year old boyfriend is obsessed and very disappointed that it’s now ended and he didn’t complete his collection!

Oops it fell into my basket? (I really like the sunlight in this photo)

and here, three thousand years late, the girl discovers Huji – the photo app that says you’re living in 1998

when the boy takes outfit photos and then asks you to take a photo of him

I love cooking so much – this is the stuffing mixture I make usually for putting inside roasted peppers, but recently we’ve been putting them in wraps and making enchiladas with them and it’s been a big success (would anyone care about a blog post recipe?)

a photo of my granddad 1954 (left) – he just looks like such a ladies man and this is why I love printed photos!

my boy and I on our way to London!

Nick was our housemate for two years and one of our best mates at uni for all three years, this was the first time we’d seen him since graduation in July – three months!

Huji returns 4 The Circle Final – hosts Alice Levine and Maya Jama on the right and all the contestants are on the sofa on the left but it’s not very clear in this photo

We got moved to the other side of the studio and for a while we had a much better view (until some rude boys pushed in front of us) but I love this photo of all the finalists!

the view from our hotel was actually really cute

Really felt my make-up – I often avoid looking at myself at any opportunity but I didn’t hate myself on this day lol

underground signs aesthetically make me happy

the Natural History Museum is actually stunning

my tol boy with real tol boiz

I’m now obsessed with Dinosaurs and skeletons are proper cool

I thought this photo was proper artsy when I took it but it was mostly so I could read about the dinosaurs

trying to be creative but I wasn’t quite tall enough for this cool granite stone wheel thing to be a cool background and the lighting was rubbish but STILL

Huji photos and lens flares? CUTE

weekly card game night with le fam (minus my sister, who’s at uni)

RIGHT let’s talk about this – we’re quite competitive so we’re keeping track of overarching scores and somehow I’m OVER SIX HUNDRED POINTS BEHIND? Raging m8

even more Autumn-y leafy feet photos

the amazing cupcakes I made for my sister’s birthday (I wrote an insta post all about them which you can see here!)

family squeeze themselves into a car for a long ass drive to Bournemouth

Le Birthday Girl!

my sister in her funky new coat / the outfit she would wear if she was the Doctor

family birthday dinner at TGI Fridays

the birthday hat

I FINALLY GOT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL TO WEAR THE BIRTHDAY HAT!

nobody gets left behind… (he did though, reluctantly)

the drive home was SO PRETTY and all the trees were full of Autumnal colours but I couldn’t properly pick it up on camera

and my phone is mostly full of very exciting screenshots like these! Where are my Arrowverse fans at?

‘I can’t share a post with 50 photos in, that’s too many!’ she thought, then not being able to cut her photos from 17 days to less than 30.

Ah well, who doesn’t love a long post every now and then! It’s a bit like scrolling through Instagram but it’s just me, bit vain. Maybe I take too many selfies, maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m getting better and taking family photos and documenting the everyday and I’m really happy with my mentality towards preserving memories – I’m going to have rooms full of photo albums and scrapbooks at this rate!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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falling in love with fashion | outfit

2018, fashion, fitness, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

Today’s a day for another rambly post about clothes and body image, yay! I feel like we’ve been on a journey with outfit posts – at first it was all about body image and how much I hate myself, then I got bored of being so negative in every outfit post I wrote and I started actually writing about fashion and I’m not going to lie, I’m really into outfit photos at the moment.

I really love this outfit
Long sleeved tee (ASOS) – Pinafore (old ASOS) – Coat (Primark) – Boots (Primark)

Not really an outfit photo, but a photo of me in an outfit so… Tee (ASOS) – Pinafore – Long sleeved top (Long Tall Sally)

And even the silly ones like this when I get an ASOS delivery and I put my new favourite jumper on top of my new favourite pyjamas

So I’m both getting better and not hating myself being on camera and my boyfriend is getting very good at taking outfit photos so it’s a win win all round.

However today’s photos were taken by my sister in her uni town of Bournemouth by the stunning Bournemouth beach and I wish it wasn’t as busy and I wasn’t so flustered because they’re lovely photos and I hope we can go get some more tomorrow.

But back to clothes and fashion – I’ve kind of come to terms with my size and I feel like I’m on top of eating more healthily and exercising more (doing more steps a day). So now that I’ve come to terms with it, I feel like I can try new things and I don’t mind people looking at me, because I’m not always assuming it’s about my weight and more about what I’ve chosen to wear!

I’m really enjoyed patterned trousers at the moment and these ones from New Look are my current favourites because they’re quite slim fit without being skinny and an elasticated waist! But it’s more than just wearing some funky trousers – trousers were always the centre of my issues with my weight because it all focused on my tummy. Jeans were too uncomfortable when I sat down (which at uni, was like basically all the time) and I felt like I couldn’t wear anything but leggings. I’ve lived in leggings for over a year and I think not feeling trapped by only having one option is a huge factor.

Also funky trousers that aren’t jeans are really in at the moment which makes it all much easier to buy them.

I’m finding a new way to present myself in what I wear – new ways to express myself and show parts of my personality that I normally only felt I could really present in my unnatural hair colours and I’m really enjoying this new sense of freedom and creativity I’m finding through clothes. Resisting buying a whole new wardrobe is getting increasingly difficult, if I’m being honest.

This outfit in particular is my perfect combination of comfy but looks like I’ve put in far more effort than I actually have. These trousers are my favourite at the moment, this ASOS denim jacket has been a staple of mine since I bought it before I went to New York in March (it’s been perfect through every season – works for layering in winter, is a good transitional jacket for Spring and Autumn and nice for evenings in Summer, I’m obsessed) and it brings together a lot of my outfits.

And can we talk about the fact I’m wearing a crop top? This 1996 top from H&M was 100% stolen (in idea, not physical item) from my gorgeous friend Liane because she put a picture of it on Instagram and my brain went ‘I was born in 1996. I need it’ then I searched it on the H&M website and suddenly I was getting the long sleeved top and this cropped top (for next summer) for less than a tenner? Because student discount and free delivery is my best friend.

But I’m wearing a crop top! And I felt okay in it! I wouldn’t say confidence is tip top of my list but I wasn’t self conscious about it and I wanted to take outfit photos in a crop top? You can see my lil tum poking out in some of these pictures! This is such a huge deal for me – a year ago, I was super self conscious, I was living in leggings and massively oversized t-shirts, sweaters and jumpers but now I’m somewhat comfortable wearing a crop top or a tee that’s actually a bit tighter around my stomach and I’m really pleased with this progress.

This isn’t to say I’m going to stop trying to lose weight, because I am but I’m taking the approach of getting healthier and losing weight is a consequence and I’m sure my confidence will only grow the healthier I get. Either way, I’m really happy with the mental and physical progress and I love this outfit a lot.

The fake Timberlands are mens Primark, if anyone was wondering. Though I’m sure they’re not.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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if only my boyfriend wanted to take nice pictures

trying something new | outfit

2018, fashion, lifestyle, photography

Hello!

This summer, I’ve been trying to be a bit more adventurous with what I wear – now that the heatwave seems to have (finally) drawn to an end, I feel like I can experiment a bit now that I’m not sweating constantly.

And last week, my family and I went to a market in a local town and I spotted this gorgeous elephant print floaty top on a stall and it was only £10! Elephants are my thing so whenever I see anything with elephants on it’s difficult to leave behind.

When I got it, I didn’t think I’d get much wear out of it – it’s very long, my sister described it as looking like a hospital gown and she was right. But with these high waisted plus sized jeans from ASOS, I actually loved it – I could pull it out so it was still airy and light but I loved the contrast of having it tucked in.

It’s comfy, it’s perfect for summer because it’s so thin but it would also be perfect for the transition months because it’s so easy to layer. I’m excited to figure out other ways to wear this top and I feel like being excited to wear an item of clothing isn’t a bad thing.

I have a pretty awful relationship with my body – I really don’t like my appearance and I’m very aware of my attitude to food and desperately trying not to let it develop into anything worse (I talked about it a little bit in an instagram post the other day).

I don’t want to make every outfit post about body image, but talking about the clothes I’m wearing involves showing how they look on my body and that takes a lot for me to feel comfortable sharing – the truth is I don’t feel comfortable sharing them. Every photo I edit to include I pick apart every last possible flaw about myself. I don’t look at my body a lot and the image of myself I have in my head is a fair bit slimmer than what I actually look like so sharing the pictures with my tummy pouch and my big arms and my face that can’t just seem to manage that sultry, moody face without looking like I actually want to commit murder.

And I hope that other people don’t see those things when looking at the same photos. There’s the little part of my brain that says ‘don’t be stupid, everyone thinks you’re disgusting’ but then I think ‘well maybe they don’t’ and then I think ‘who are you to be cocky enough to think that’ and it goes on and on. Maybe I shouldn’t share these things, but if I read a post about someone who thinks the same way I do then it would be incredibly reassuring. But already I’m thinking ‘but no one cares enough about your writing to be reassured by it’.

Long story short I really like this top and I wanted to share it. Long story long I have a tricky relationship with my body and maybe sharing it is helping?

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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What I wore to graduation | outfit

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’ve mentioned it in pretty much every blog post, tweet and Instagram since it happened but I graduated last week! I only figured out what I was wearing to graduation less than a week before that and whilst I’m at a point of not liking my body a whole bunch and wanting to find something that I felt comfortable and looked good in was a challenge for me, I wanted to write a whole post about the beauty I found!

I wore this blue playsuit from New Look with what I’m referring to as a cape (that I adored). It was comfy, I felt badass and it was flattering, keeping the bits of my body I’m a little more insecure about more covered.

The sleeves were perfect in this summer heatwave were having – they weren’t so much sleeves as they were curtains for my upper arms and I loved them. They were so airy and light but completely eliminated any insecurities I have about my upper arms.

I wore a size 18 and I liked that it wasn’t clingy but if it was any bigger it would have been too baggy, particularly around the chest. It was just genuinely very comfortable, particularly in the searing heat that we’re experiencing in the UK at the moment.

As for shoes, I’m holding these gorgeous heels from Next (which seem to be no longer available in the grey I chose), the reason I didn’t wear them is because I had worn them to my boyfriend’s graduation the day before (the biggest mistake I possibly could have made) and gave myself a giant blister and bruises so I avoided wearing them for as long as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, they are very comfortable and if I’d been sensible about when I wore them I definitely could have worn them all day, my feet just aren’t build for heels and I don’t really need the height! I’m 5’10” and wear a size 8, if anyone’s interested!

The sandals I’m wearing here are my mum’s and she has no idea where they’re from, but they’re very comfortable and she let me keep them. Thanks mum!

I probably should have taken my FitBit Blaze off for the day but there were some crucial steps that I wasn’t prepared to miss! I was definitely going to make walking across that stage count. In terms of other jewellery, I picked up a necklace from Primark a couple of days before which was a small gold pendant with a moon and an ‘S’ on it and I wore some gold stud earrings, that was it!

I’m not a huge jewellery gal so if I hadn’t spotted them I wouldn’t have worn anything but they were lovely additions and haven’t turned my skin green which I’m actually somewhat surprised by.

Graduation was a really lovely day – having watched my boyfriend and so many friends graduate the day before and had an amazing night at the pub (and a very emotional goodbye to a housemate of basically three years) and then to have my own day and see everyone again and thank my lecturers was just lovely. Good luck to anyone else graduating this summer and congratulations if you already have!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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Outside photos taken on my OnePlus 5T by my wonderful blogger boyfriend, photo in gowns taken on a Huawei P20 Pro by my sister.

This is my Uniform

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

So I’ve talked in outfit posts before how I have a funny relationship with my body and the clothes I wear – when I started uni I was the lightest I’ve been (in my adult life) and now I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m starting a new workout routine and trying my best to eat as healthily as I can (we can but try and I really like biscuits) but my relationship with clothes is as rocky as it’s always been.

It kind of hit me all at once the other day – it was just as it started getting really warm in the UK, I don’t presently have any shorts that fit me and all my dresses were in the wash because I’d already worn them that week, so I pulled this outfit together.

I was intending to take a picture of me in this outfit but I got too nervous about it so I made this image instead… [ new look jumpsuit ] [ boohoo jumper ]

The trousers are actually a playsuit I picked up in New Look a couple of weeks ago and I thought a v-neck oversized jumper made it a bit less formal and a bit more convenient.

But I got scared, put on the leggings I feel safe in and one of two band tees I actually feel comfortable wearing outside the house, even though it was so hot and wearing black probably wasn’t a good idea.

tee: Busted merch / leggings: ‘Cosy’ from Primark / hoodie: my boyfriend’s wardrobe (also Primark, I think)

I would have been more comfortable in the yellow outfit, but I was so put off by the idea of wearing something different to usual and more out there that I could bring myself to do it.

That’s quite sad and a little bit pathetic, let’s be real.

By why do I have this uniform that I’m so scared to step outside of? That’ll be because experimenting with fashion or trying something a little bit different may draw attention to myself, which isn’t something I’m massively concerned about. But it would also draw attention to my body and, to me, my whole body is a problem area so in my head trying something a bit different is like inviting people to scrutinise my big ol’ problem area.

Again – sad and pathetic. I know it’s dumb, I know no one’s scrutinising my body as much as I am and if they are they should probably reevaluate their priorities. But I’m so self conscious I just can’t help it.

Though I’m not sure I want to change it – I love the idea of having a capsule wardrobe, but is a capsule wardrobe meant to conform to this ‘uniform’ I’ve given myself or is it meant to be a series of really adaptable pieces that all fit with each other? I feel like it’s meant to be the latter, so it doesn’t feel like a uniform but it’s still minimalistic.

Maybe I’ll start being braver, I think this starts with getting rid of more of the clothes that don’t fit me and finding clothes that are a step out of my comfort zone but still make me feel comfortable because they actually fit me. Who knows – I’m sure I’ll still have days where I stick to my uniform (because leggings and a tee s a staple, let’s be real).

Whatever happens, I’m sure I’ll document it but this is my declaration – I’m going to try and step away from my uniform.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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one day, I’ll love you | outfit

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

Let’s be flat out honest here – I really enjoy doing outfit posts and talking about body image and body confidence, so I wanted to do a follow up to this post, which was quite negative in conclusion and I got a fair few messages from people who were worried about me after that one.

I’ve always had a mixed relationship with my body – as soon as I hit secondary school it’s like my brain suddenly flicked a switch and I labelled myself as ‘fat’. The battle began with hating myself, comparing myself to my stick thin friends and staring at myself in the mirror at dance with nothing but pure resentment for myself. I reached a sort of peace in 2014/15 when my tumblr blog was a thing and every time I posted a picture I got lots of strangers on the internet telling me they loved how I looked (also my hair was lush).

Then I came to uni and got a boyfriend in second year I piled on a whole load of weight. Like 4 stone of weight. And I don’t say that to evoke reaction or sympathy (though there’s nothing to be sympathetic for), it’s mostly for my sake – I can’t be as ‘ashamed’ of my weight if I put it in writing, right?

Cardigan: Primark (mens). Long sleeved t-shirt: Long Tall Sally. Culottes: Primark. Sneakers: Primark.

Whenever I see people talking about body image, I see them talk about good days and bad days and I think the thing that hits me the most is I don’t have ‘good days’ with my body. There’s no point anymore where I like or feel happy in my body. So when I was thinking about what I wanted to wear for my next outfit post, I decided I wanted to wear something that made me feel fabulous.

And I couldn’t think of anything.

I don’t feel that surge of confidence in an outfit anymore, I have days where I feel less self conscious but that’s mostly because I’m wearing something that drowns me and no one can tell what kind of body shape I have in the sack I am wearing. But that’s not the same. I don’t ever feel that surge of self confidence that I used to get when I looked like this.

Heels: New Look. Jeans: M&S Tall. Top: Primark. Jacket: Probably Primark, I don’t know it was 2015.

But you know? This feeling isn’t necessarily a bad thing and it’s definitely not the end of the world (hear me out) – because it’s knowing that it won’t last forever that’s important.

Recently I’ve been coming to terms with my weight in a way I haven’t done since I was about 12 – 9 years ago. I’m not happy with it and I don’t like my body (at all) but doing anything about it right now isn’t a priority – I know I fairly recently wrote a post called ‘you can keep your health kick‘ but other than trying to eat a bit healthier, making time to go to the gym and workout isn’t something I have time to prioritise right now.

And if it bothered me that much I would prioritise it, so I’m deciding not to.

Just this week I placed a rather large ASOS order exclusively from the Plus Sized range and I’m really excited to have a bunch of new clothes that will fit me more comfortably! I’m slowly phasing out my wardrobe so I 1) have less clothes because wow I can hoard for Britain and 2) have clothes that actually fit me! Rather than a half a wardrobe I don’t entirely hate and half a wardrobe I’ll ‘wear when I lose weight’.

I’m working on getting my fabulous back.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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I hate that my boyfriend is so silly when he takes pictures for me because then the photos that are actually okay (like this one) are at dumb ass angles.