life after a masters; what’s next?

2020, career, student

Hello!

Just short of a year ago I started my masters in digital media production at Oxford Brookes University and in normal circumstances I’d be days away from handing in my dissertation, but with the pandemic my deadline has been pushed back by six weeks so I now have until the end of October to finish my dissertation and find a job.

And it’s mildly terrifying.

Last time I finished a degree I spent a year being rejected from probably over a hundred jobs and that had a massive impact on my already low self esteem, so subconsciously I think I’m really nervous about that. But I can’t just not think about what happens after my masters because I have lots of work left to do (like a lot of work left to do…) – although it doesn’t feel like it now, life will go on after October 29th and if I don’t think about it till then, it’s just going to make things more difficult.

What I need to happen is to jump straight into a full time job – although many of my peers from my undergraduate degree found companies they loved and still work with straight away, I’m not expecting that. I just need to get my foot on the lowest rung of the ladder and start climbing, however many steps it takes to get there (wherever ‘there’ is).

But with being so unsuccessful two years ago, I just don’t know how I’m going to get a job when I don’t feel like I’m good enough. After so much rejection, I feel like I just don’t know how to get a job, even though I’ve actually worked two retail jobs since then so I’m not totally unemployable.

It all feels so far away but too close simultaneously – I see so many people I know whether they be media graduates I studied with, people I went to school with or random people I follow online working their asses off to get what they want to achieve and I feel like I have the drive and the motivation but I don’t feel like I’m skilled enough. Every job spec I look at feels so overwhelming and unachievable and I’m not good enough at it.

But actually? I’ve done my fair share of working my ass off. I’ve got a Post-Graduate Certificate and I’m so close to finishing my masters at the most unorganised, least supportive uni I’ve ever heard of,  I live in a house with the love of my life, we’re saving for a wedding and a house deposit, I’ve got the best support network of friends I could ever dream of having and I have a whole future ahead of me.

Do I know where I want it to go? Absolutely not – there are lots of areas that interest me and I think I’d be happy in any of them. Is there a whole multitude of jobs and industries that I still don’t know about to explore? Absolutely – having grown up at an incredibly academic middle class grammar school, there wasn’t much outside of doctor, teacher, engineer, lawyer – very obvious jobs that you can find in a kids book. Multimedia journalist was beyond their repertoire. TV camera operator? Nope, they’d probably class it as ‘low skill’. Even photography was wiped from the A Level options when I was in sixth form because it wasn’t academic enough.

I am creative – I love words and telling stories. I love data – comparing analytics, noticing trends, making spreadsheets, graphs and lists. I love coloured pens and post it notes! I love answering emails and organising calendars. I love working with creative people that can bounce ideas around and come up with something incredible as a team. I love the idea of sitting in an open, comfy, modern office space and taking myself off occasionally, finding a Spotify playlist and listening to piano instrumentals while my fingers type faster than I can think.

I have good, employable skills. I just need to get out the mindset that someone needs to ‘give me a chance’, because there is something out there for me and I will earn it; I am not a risk.

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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is too many passions a bad thing?

2020, career

Hello,

I really struggled to think about what I wanted to write about today – I thought maybe I could write about the books I want to read this year but I made a video about it last week. I thought about writing a ‘diary’ like day-in-the-life post but I don’t go back to uni until next week so I’m making the most of not doing very much at all.

Then I thought about writing about the newest Pokemon games Sword and Shield because I just finished playing it with my boyfriend and we’re starting our second play through and really enjoying it, but then blogging is so much about a ‘niche’ and I don’t know what my niche is but writing about video games probably shouldn’t be part of it if I want to be consistent. But if this blog is truly a reflection of me than why should I restrict what I want to write about?

Following on from my last post about the show Cheer on Netflix, I’ve been thinking about what my ‘thing’ is – what I’m most passionate about and what I want to focus my career on.  My issue has always been that I care about too many things – video games, clothes, student life, body positivity, musical theatre, social media, creative writing, books, dance, organisation, coloured pens just to name a few, I’m sure there’s more. YouTube, family vloggers, TV shows – I waited maybe ten seconds and thought of more.

If I could build a whole career on superheroes I’d probably have a long and happy career but I’d still probably wonder if maybe I should have picked one of my other passions to follow into my professional life.

The other thing with have so many ‘hobbies’ (if you can call them that) is that I often feel like I’m not enthusiastic enough about one thing to apply for any jobs in that field.

And I wish I had a conclusion to draw in this post – I wish I could say ‘go with your gut’ or ‘follow your heart’ and it’ll all work out but I can’t say that because I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ve not started my career yet and I definitely don’t have any advice that I know works for anyone else who feels like this.

But I will say this – I don’t think I’ll ever be the kind of person that only focuses on one thing. Right now, I’m sat writing a blog post in between playing Pokemon with my boyfriend. Tomorrow I’m going to start a website design course and my t-shirt blanket project that I made a video about and the next day I’m going on a bowling date night with the love of my life and I want to take my film camera to practice taking photos in darker settings (add photography to the ‘list of things Sophie’s passionate about).

Does that make picking what I want to do for the rest of my life harder? Yes, but who has one job for the rest of their lives? Maybe it makes me more diverse and employable too.

I guess what I’m saying is that I hope being passionate about lots of things isn’t a bad thing and I hope one day I can come back to this post and have some advice for anyone who might feel like they’re spreading their passions too thin.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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