keeping my mind calm when I’m nervous

2019, mental health

Hello!

This week is a nervous one – my driving test is this week and for some reason, I’ve been feeling the effects long term anxiety for a couple of weeks now. It’s things like not being able to sleep, being unreasonably ratty and finding it difficult to concentrate.

And to be honest, it’s exhausting – it’s the heavy weight in my chest and the racing thoughts as I’m trying to fall asleep, so here are a few of the things I’m trying to do to combat it.

1. The Alphabet Game

If I’m struggling to fall asleep, I’ll play the Alphabet Game and go through baby names or films or food. I find this helps as a way to distract my brain and slow everything down – to stop the racing thoughts, try and lift the tightness in my chest and slow the heart rate down.

Also this is a fun family restaurant activity waiting for food!

2. Give yourself a little time off to do something you enjoy

Whether it’s turning off your computer, doing a little face mask or playing Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu for a whole Sunday afternoon (guilty) – giving yourself time to do something just for you, guilt free is a surefire way to keep yourself distracted and calm you down.

3. Have a morning or two with no alarms if you can

I know I’m fortunate to be in a position where I work very flexibly part time and at the weekend I don’t have any pressure to be up at a certain time. Sometimes, it’s not even necessarily that you sleep for much longer in the morning but waking up without the sudden panic of an alarm makes mornings feel much more chilled out and peaceful I think.

4. Try Headspace!

I know it sounds like a complete gimmick but meditation really does work – I’ve been using some of the sleep programs on the Headspace app (I’m sure there are others out there but it’s the only one I really know about) and I find them so relaxing – they help me breathe more deeply, I feel physically more relaxed and I feel like I’m more in control of how I’m feeling. It proves to me that I do have the power to control what I’m feeling and that’s really reassuring.

5. Apologise when you don’t mean to be angry

I’m quite a self aware person and sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in my own head screaming ‘I don’t mean it, I’m sorry!’ but I just can’t stop snapping and acting like a grumpy teenager. The best thing I’ve found is to be honest – to apologise and say ‘look, I’m really nervous and stressed about this thing, I don’t mean it’.

If, however, the person you’re talking to is making you justifiably angry then let loose.

6. Focus on what you can do and not what you can’t

Managing concentration when you’re stressed is a pretty good way to make yourself more stressed – looking at all the things I have to do when most of them are computer based and my eyeballs feel like they’ve been replaced with cotton wool is just the worst. But, focusing on what you have done or what you can achieve is important – getting one thing ticked off a to do list is better than none. Do what you can without pushing yourself because anything is better than nothing!

At the end of the day, the thing to remember is that life has a path – I’m halfway of the mindset that everything happens for a reason and halfway that life isn’t that scheduled, but the part of me that believes everything happens for a reason is often proved right.

For example, I was absolutely devastated when I failed my first driving test but when I upgraded my car and the transition from diesel to petrol was harder to adjust to than I expected, still having my ‘L’ plates on made me feel so much more secure because I had the safety blanket of everyone around me knowing I was new to the car!

I’m hoping for the best for my driving test, but if I don’t pass, there are ways around it – it will all work out in the end! Good luck for whatever you’re nervous or stressed about – it’ll work out in the end!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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Dear Diary… | creative writing

2017, lifestyle, student

Dear Diary,

I was back at Mum’s today – it’s always nice to come back to the house I grew up in. I need to savour that feeling. I’m here to box up the last of my things – I’ve graduated and I have a job and I’m moving into a proper house, I’m not renting anymore – I have a mortgage and everything.

Mum’s taking that as a chance to move into a smaller house – she’s found a bungalow on the top of the hill and she can see straight out to the English Channel sea. So I’m glancing through my things – old heartbreak, old love and old happiness, all stored away in boxes in the attack and all around the house.

I used to keep a diary so religiously – I found an box full of notebooks, full of life and colours and stickers, getting more dull as I got older, but the handwriting neater and the action more therapeutic.

It all stopped when I met her. When she told me it was silly and childish and I didn’t need to write things down because we were going to make memories together. For two years she told me this, then she got drunk and a house party and slept with someone on the football team.

But her words stuck with me. I didn’t pick up my diary again. I snapped whenever mum called them diaries and tried to tell her that I wasn’t writing in my journals anymore. It was sad, looking back, but I was also the most stubborn, stereotypical teenager.

And since then it’s been burned into my mind – ‘journalling is silly’, I’ve joined in with the guys at the pub taking the piss out of people who write down their thoughts and feelings and share any kind of emotion at all. But I don’t believe it. I haven’t told them about my therapy sessions.

I’ve sat here for hours reading through everything I wrote, remembering happy times and feelings and memories.

Things change.

People change.

I’ve changed but that doesn’t mean I can’t change back or learn from my past self.

As soon as I’d loaded the last box into my car and drove away from mum’s, I stopped off at a service station on the way to the house and picked up a new notebook – it wasn’t colourful and it wasn’t going to have stickers in but it was sturdy and it had good paper.

When I got home I wrote the date in the top right hand corner and wrote the words I hadn’t in so long.

I’m going to tell my therapist next week. I think he’ll like the idea and he’ll like that I’m doing it myself. He always says that taking control of how I manage my feelings is the important bit.

Thank you.


Hello!

This piece completely changed direction as I was writing it – I was going to write it from a female perspective but then I thought it would be an interesting from a male perspective and then I remembered that this month is mental health awareness note and Piers Morgan is a twat.

Fuck Piers Morgan.

Mental health is not gender segregation – I hate to be ‘promoting’ and including his tweet because I feel like giving Piers Morgan a voice is the worst thing anybody can do but it’s people like that who make men feel like their mental health isn’t important enough.

I’ve never really done a statement piece of writing before, if you have any comments please leave them down below!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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