New Years Resolutions – Mid Year Review

2018, lifestyle, photography, student, travel

Hello!

Considering most of the blog posts I write and publish at the moments are goals related, whether it be monthly mini goals, summer goals, post-uni goals or anything else, it’s not a surprise that at the end of June I wanted to take a look back at my goals from the beginning of the year.

The fact we’re halfway through 2018 is still blowing my mind – I can’t believe it!

This one’s going to be a long one so get yourself a beverage and a snack, let’s just jump right in.

[ PERSONAL ]

  • Find a workout / healthy eating routine : I’d like to say it’s kind of a work in progress but I’m not sure it is. I’m trying my best but it’s something I’m really struggling with. I have lost a little bit of weight and I’m slowly figuring out the ways that work best for me but it’s not the ‘fitness journey’ I wanted. Essentially I’m nowhere near as fit as I want to be but there’s still another six months!
  • Eat three meals a day : I just don’t feel hungry first thing in the morning, I can’t bring myself to eat breakfast unless I’m really in the mood. And maybe this is just my brain being a bit dumb, but whilst I”m trying to loose weight I can’t get to grips with the notion of putting even more food in my body? Probably wrong, but part of the reason I’ve not made more of an effort to include breakfast in my routine!
  • Make a budgeting plan and stick to it : well, this went really well between January and April – my loan came in, I had a plan, it went well, good job me. April onwards however has been a different story – after I finished my degree I went a bit ‘reward spending’ mad. Then the fact that I don’t have a job and I was moving home and I didn’t know how long I’d have to make the money last freaked me out and I clearly my way of coping with that was spending money. I’m not good at money. Will be easier to budget when I have a job.
  • Make sure to stick to bullet journal : definitely going with this one right now! I literally don’t leave the house without it and everything I do gets written in this book, it’s helping me feel a bit more sane in the expanse of being an unemployed graduate.

[ UNIVERSITY / CAREER ]

  • Expand 3 year plan + research career goals : I’ve completely changed my three year plan – I realised it was just a progression that seemed to fit going into a career I didn’t actually want! All a work in progress but I just want to work at this point, so my much more short term plan is find a job.
  • Graduate with at least a 2:1 : when I made this goal I had my heart set on a first but I knew if I set the goal at a first and didn’t get one it would hurt more than not getting a first. And despite working my ass off for it, I just missed out on a first so I’m glad I had that forethought. But I am getting a very high 2:1 and I graduate in a few days!
  • Marketing work experience at Sky + grad scheme : this was part of my three year plan, I don’t really want to go into marketing – I’m creative, I need to make things, particularly making videos and taking photos which I don’t think I’d get from being in marketing (please do correct me if I’m wrong!), so kind of scrapping this goal. Though I do think Sky is a great company and I would like to work for them at some point!
  • Take every opportunity available : I kind of want to adapt this one – to making opportunities for myself. I had to turn down some amazing paid work in the Netherlands earlier this year because it would have meant sacrificing the quality of my FMP and it just wasn’t a sensible option. But I have made the opportunity to make my FMP something that’s relevant to my future and I’ve made some great contacts and friends with the people I’ve interviewed and it’s a project I’m so proud of I can’t describe it. So this year is for making opportunities.

[ CREATIVE ]

  • Maintain blog and YouTube more consistently : though I have criticised myself for not being consistent and not making the content I want to make at the right time, I’m making way more than I did in my previous year’s at university! I’ve really fallen back in love with both platforms and I spend far more time making content that I feel represents me than I have made in the past. In the case of this blog, it’s predominantly lists which I feel is a bit too representative of me!
  • Keep writing : I’ve been trying to do more creative writing this year and I wouldn’t say it’s gone particularly well. However there’s been a slight development in the first few days of July – I’m a big fan of the NaNoWriMo challenge and charity and whilst the main 30 day writing challenge is in November, they do other monthly challenges throughout the year called ‘Camp NaNoWriMo‘. I thought it would be a good idea for me to partake because it makes me dive head first into writing and I don’t have any plans for July – I don’t have a job or uni or anything, I wanted something to keep me focused and productive and so far it has! in 6 days I’ve written over 10,000 words of a silly little idea I had. It’s nothing that I’d ever try and publish or produce, it’s just a silly little personal project to get me back into it but I’m loving it so much. Maybe I’ll stop trying to get a job in social media and try and get a book deal instead but I’m way more on track with this goal than I was before.
  • Keep making new things : I’ve been a bit more experimental with my videos on YouTube than I was earlier in the year – I’m trying new things, taking more time and teaching myself more about post-production too. I’ve always loved making video content and that’s where I want to push myself creatively – blogging is more of a relaxing outlet for me, I love writing and I find writing a post comes quite easily so I’m happy with what I’m making for both platforms at the moment.
  • Take the most unconventional approach : I’m not sure what I meant by this back in January, I don’t know if I was trying to be a bit edgy or what. Either way, I’m giving it a go – it kind of worked out with my FMP video so maybe it’s something I need to incorporate in the rest of this year!

So a lot has changed in 6 months but that’s why I think it’s important to check in on long term goals! But I won’t ramble on anymore.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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5 mini goals for March

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I definitely stole this idea from Dorkface but anyway – I’m a very goals orientated person. I spend a lot of time thinking about my goals, where I want to be and whether I’m achieving what I want to achieve.

Often, this just involves me thinking about where I want to be and why I’m not there yet whilst eating copious amounts of chocolate but it’s a work in progress and progress is something I think I can fairly confidently say is somewhat getting there (but the fact I worded that so speculatively suggests otherwise).

Either way, I saw Jemma writing these ‘mini goals’ blog posts and this month I decided to give it a go – it might help me focus and I’m going to make a pretty spread in my bullet journal to incentivise me to tick things off. I’m going to start with just 5 and if it goes well I’ll reflect on them before setting April’s goals.

  1. Really focus on my FMP (my final major project, my degree’s equivalent of a dissertation) – this sounds dumb, because I’ve been thinking about and working on this project since last summer but I’ve been really struggling in these past few weeks to focus and get anything done but March is going to be the month I get shit done.
  2. Blog more regularly – again, potentially a stupid goal but every time I sit down to write I fall in love with blogging again but I just don’t make time to do it. I’ve been really enjoying my blog photography at the moment and I do want to make more time for it because to be honest I spent too many hours of an evening just playing on the xbox with my boyfriend. I don’t want to stop doing that per say, but it’s a balance isn’t it.
  3. At least three more instagram theme colours – I’ve not written about this here, but I’ve got an instagram theme! I was trying to make the yellow thing work but it wasn’t working so I was chatting to my wonderful friend Kathryn and we decided that a new colour every row could be a really nice theme without the commitment of sticking to one colour forever so I gave it a go! I had a pastel yellow, red and I’ve just finished my blue row. It’s a work in progress and I’m still figuring out the balance of what looks good and what I post just because I want to post it but I want to get at least three more rows finished this month. 9 photos doesn’t sound like a lot but I’m still getting my mind around planning and taking all the photos to fit the theme.
  4. Cook more – maybe all of these goals sound stupid, obviously I make myself dinner every night (save for a take out night every now and again) but I want to invest more time in to cooking more complex dinners. I love cooking and even setting aside an hour every night I think will both be good for my diet and my mental health, because I find cooking really therapeutic.
  5. Apply for some post-graduate jobs – I graduate in July, my final project hand in is at the beginning of May – the sooner I apply for stuff the happier my brain will be to know what’s going on after July, because right now the anxiety of not having a single ounce of a plan after I take off those graduation gowns scares me a lot and it’ll give me some peace of mind to at least know I’ve applied for stuff. I’ll tentatively set the goal of three jobs, but I know that these applications will take a lot of time so even one would be enough.

I probably could have just left it at the parts in bold but it’s nice to have a record of what I actually want to achieve this month. Maybe some of it does sound a bit silly but maybe that’s just my insecurities. I think these goals are useful, somewhat realistic and completely feasible if I stick my mind to it.

What are your goals for March? Do you have goals that you set yourself over a time period? What works for you? Let me know – I could do with all the help I can get!!

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

Side note, can we talk about the crafting I did to make the feature photo for this post, actually thoroughly enjoyed it!

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resolutions for my graduating year (2018)

2018, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello!

I’m a very big ‘setting goals’ person – lists are my best friend! Just as I was starting my third year, my FMP tutor asked us to fill in a questionaire esque thing to gauge how we were feeling about FMP and third year and he asked us to write a mantra and mine was ‘write a list’.

So I’ve been thinking about my resolutions for about a month now. I really like the three categories I chose last year, so I decided to stick with them again this year.

My personal goals:

  • find a workout and healthy eating routine that works for me
  • make more of an effort to eat three meals a day
  • make long term changes to how I handle money
  • make sure to stick to my bullet journal more closely

I’m so determined to make sustainable life changes this year – I’ve put on a lot of weight and become so unfit and I’ve been trying to find different workouts and different kinds of healthier life adaptations I could make but every app or plan I find that looks like it could help costs about £20 a month, which I just don’t have and I don’t think is worth it! But I want (need) to exercise more and I need to focus more on what I’m eating and plan more, so that’s the first two.

In terms of money, I was so proud that I got out of my overdraft in 2017 but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have a lot to work on – since being made redundant I need to be at lot more cautious with money as I don’t have an income at the end of the month so I’ve had to evaluate how much loan I get, the rent I have to pay, monthly payments, how many weeks there are between loan and next loan and then give myself a weekly budget. I could do a whole other post on that but it might be really boring – let me know if you’d like to read this?

And with my bullet journal – I stick by the fact that it’s completely changed my organisational life but these last couple of months I’ve been writing lists and then not really sticking to them so I think that’ll really help me in 2018.

My university/career goals:

  • graduate with a 2:1 (or higher, that would be nice)
  • expand my three year plan/research certain career goals
  • marketing work experience and apply for 2 year marketing grad scheme at Sky
  • take every opportunity available

I’ve expanded this category from last year because 2018 is the year I graduate with an undergrad degree (scary) and I want a 2:1. I’ve worked really hard this year so far and my FMP tutor things I’m on track which is really reassuring, but that’s a goal for the first half of the year whilst the second and third are more aimed at the second half.

And with graduating in mind, I actually have a three year plan! In 2018 I will begin the first part of that plan but I want to expand on that and focus it, maybe making some more refined smaller goals and extending it to a five year plan. There are certain avenues of my aspirations that I’ve been saying for years I want to research but I just haven’t and it’s something I need to do if I want to get there. I think I want to get my FMP out the way first though.

To progress my three year plan, I’m going to apply for work experience in marketing at Sky and then apply for the two year graduate scheme in marketing that opens at the end of the year for a July 2019 start I believe! I got a week of work experience at Sky Entertainment in 2017 and I loved the company and from what I could tell they were keen to bring people back, so I’m hoping to be able to go back and work with them full time. Maybe plans will change and I think I want to draw a big timeline and map out the next three to five years but I don’t know if I want to do that before or after handing in my FMP – I don’t know if it’ll be too late by then.

But on the other hand – thinking a bit closer to home, Southampton Solent University has offered me a bunch of opportunities that have taught me so much and given me so much experience and I feel ready to take on what happens after I finish my undergrad. There’s a big wide world out there and I feel a little bit more ready to take it on now – I want to have a go at everything that gets thrown my way.

My creative goals:

  • maintain my blog and YouTube channels more consistently
  • keep writing
  • take the most unconventional approach possible
  • find my flare

I made this resolution last year but I find having creative outlets outside of university act as both a distraction and a focus – it gives me something that isn’t stressful uni work and also helps me develop myself more creatively and further my time management skills – I’m so driven and loving my blog so much right and I really hope I can maintain that when I go back to uni at the end of January. I have a plan and hopefully I’ll stick to it.

Writing was one of my challenges last year and I achieved it – I’m not back to writing original fiction (yet) but I’ve been writing and writing all year and it’s been really nice to immerse myself in characters and long form story. There was a point where writing and being an author was a viable option for me whereas now I have more options and it’s more of a backseat hobby and I’m thoroughly enjoying the hobby without the pressure of ‘being a writer’ and I think that’s a summary of my approach to everything that isn’t uni work this year.

The last two points are a bit flimsy but I think that’s kind of what I need a little bit of this year – I’ve had a real crisis of creativity in 2017 and I don’t know if what I’m making is original or good or if it’s representative of who I am. I need to think about what I’m making – how I can take an approach no one else has taken and find what makes it mine. Maybe I should have thought about this earlier than 3 years after I started my blog and 4 years after I started my YouTube channel but here we are. Every creator has a crisis right?

I feel like I need to do some more work but I think there’s a difference between resolutions and a plan for the year. Currently the line is a little blurry but once I make the plan it might be easier to differentiate the two. The conclusion is there still work to be done but I’m excited to do it.

2018 is going to be a big year that might be an indication for the rest of my life, that sounds very melodramatic though. I’m interested to see how the review of this post goes in the end of the year, but let’s not rush it.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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“maybe I grew as a person” – my 2017 resolutions

2017, lifestyle, photography, student

Hello,

I was going to make a New Years Resolution post looking back on my resolutions from last year and talking about my resolutions for 2018 but I know for a fact that a post consisting of both of those things would end up with a blog post that’s about three thousand words long. I’m a very reflective person and I like checking in on my own progress so that’s what this is.

Should I publish this on the internet? Probably not, I don’t know if anyone else is interested in this. But I like being able to hold myself accountable and I don’t know if anyone else would maybe like to see if I’ve stuck to what I said I wanted to do in both my 2017 resolutions post and my mid-year check in post!

For context, I split my goals into three sections – personal, creative and university.

My personal goals:

  • being healthier
  • exercising more
  • focusing on my dental hygiene
  • becoming a morning person
  • be more careful with money

Being healthier and exercising more didn’t go well – I’m the heaviest and unfittest I’ve ever been and it makes me very sad so we won’t dwell on it, but it won’t be a surprise that this appear on my 2018 list too! Dental hygiene was a mixed bag – I’ve come to the conclusion that I just hate brushing my teeth and I will never enjoy it, it will always be a sensation that I just don’t enjoy. But I have got better and I’m still working on my dental hygiene despite hating it so much.

Becoming a morning person has been much more successful though! Having 9am starts for most of this semester at uni has really helped but I naturally wake up between 7am and 9am (depending on what my schedule has been like – during a busy week, I wake up earlier and in the holidays or a quieter week, a bit later). At the moment I’m not pressing myself to be up too early because uni has really taken it out of me, but when I’m properly back in Southampton for uni next year I’m going to get back to working on this. I feel like this is my most sustainable change I made this year.

And the money goal was really successful too – I’ve been lucky enough to come into a couple of fairly large sums of money and my family have recommended to me that I use that to get out of my overdraft and I didn’t want to do that. I wanted that money to go back into something more memorable so I put that into my travel saving fund and worked on getting out of my overdraft on my own. So when loan arrived in September and I paid rent and my bank account was still positive and I’ve never been happier than closing my overdraft and knowing that all the money I had was mine. I was so proud and I’m so glad that the only debt I’ll have leaving university (‘glad’ ish, I guess) will be my loan.

So personal goals, a big ‘ish’ but feeling positive.

My creative goals:

  • keep learning about photography
  • maintaining my blog and YouTube channel
  • make sure to keep trying out new content
  • start writing again
  • find new creative outlets

Taking advanced photography taught me a lot about thinking about photography and how good photos can be much simpler than all the daunting equipment and scary editing software. I’m excited about the prospect of continuing to learn about photography and I’m saving for a camera that I think will really enable me to explore more creatively.

Maintaining my blog and YouTube channel was a mixed bag too – they were okay for a while, I dipped in and out of both throughout the year but these last four months has just been radio silence. I’m working on getting that back – exhibit A is the blog posts and videos I’ve been making in the latter half of December and I’m really hoping to maintain this when I go back to uni but we’ll see, the biggest aim for 2018 is taking the pressure off.

In terms of trying out new content most of it for me was making sure I didn’t feel like I was churning out the same shit that every other blogger desperate for brand deals and pretty instagrams was. I didn’t necessarily ‘try out new content’ but I’ve been particularly thoughtful about what I’ve made and I’m pretty pleased with it to be honest!

In terms of writing again – I actually kind of have! Yes, it’s fanfiction but I’m 16,000 words and 50 pages into it and I’m writing. Right now, where I’m very focused on my degree and making content online, realistically working on a personal work of fiction isn’t something I have the mental capacity for so what I’m writing is 1) much more manageable, 2) keeps me writing creatively and 3) is something that I really enjoy, like a lot. And I haven’t found any new creative outlets other than perhaps interior decorating the house I moved into in July so this project works for me!

My university goals:

  • stay motivated
  • stay organised
  • keep trying new things
  • keep putting yourself out there
  • work experience

I feel like I could write a whole blog post about my university story – the long and short of it is no one in my sixth form believed I was capable of anything and I fought through the battle that was my A Levels on my own whilst being bullied by my maths teacher so to think that I finished second year with a grade I was so happy with and being treated as a ‘High Achiever’ by my university just blows my mind.

So yes – I stayed motivated, I stayed organised and I kept trying new things in the stories I covered and the roles I took on within my course and outside of it. I put myself out there in ways I never thought I was capable of, even taking on editorial roles and too many commitments outside of my course but I got through it. In the end. Ish.

And work experience might be the most successful part of 2017 – two weeks at BBC Three, a week at NASS festival, a week working at Reading festival (one of my first paid freelance jobs!) and a week at Sky Entertainment which actually helped me figure out a three year plan (let me know if you want a whole post about it?) and I feel like my university goals were the most successful part of my 2017.

Just looking back at what I asked of myself a year ago and knowing that that version of me didn’t even imagine what she would have to go through and what she achieved is genuinely making me really emotional. It’s been a huge year and this is the first year that I can remember that I look back and feel proud and I’m excited for next year, it’s a really nice feeling. I’m motivated now to get the same out of 2018!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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progress is a step | new year’s resolutions check in

2017, lifestyle, photography, student, travel

Hello!

I’m a big fan of Hannah Witton – she’s a YouTuber who talks so openly about things that a lot of people don’t and I love the way she presents her ideas and promotes such positivity in a way that isn’t all airy fairy and unrealistic. She wrote a blog post over a month ago looking back on her New Years Resolutions 5 months on and at that point I immediately wrote down that I want to do the same.

I’m someone who relies heavily on goals and focus – 2017 has thrown me some amazing opportunities but also some huge, huge challenges. I’ve been and worked at BBC Three and had to balance my entire family coming together to console each other at the passing of my beloved Nanny, I’ve started a new job and had to handle a lot of difficulty in people quitting and having to do basically full time work whilst still being at uni, I’ve got through my second year at uni! Considering we’re only in the sixth month of the year, it’s been pretty jam packed so far and I know there’s so much more to come.

I split my 2017 resolutions into three categories: personalcreative and university.

My personal goals were:

  • Being healthier
  • Exercising more
  • Focusing on my dental hygiene
  • Becoming a morning person
  • Be more careful with money

Being healthier is a work in progress – I bought diet books and I started doing workouts and I fell of it a little as time went on but I’m trying to focus more now. I made a new Instagram so I could focus more on what I’m eating and document my progress and whilst it hasn’t become particularly apparent yet, I am working on it and that’s what a resolution is – a step, not a conclusion.

My dental hygiene and general hygiene, actually, is something I’ve thought about a lot recently. When I go through moments of bad mental health, my brain’s instinct is to stop looking after itself – to stop looking after my body, not to shower regularly and not to eat or do anything that I would be thankful for later. It’s a little victory but today I showered and washed my hair only three days after I last showered, whereas in my worst moments (i.e. the past couple of months) I’ve left it five or six days, even a week and it’s the little victories we have to celebrate.

I was on track with becoming a morning person – I really fixed my sleep pattern, but then my wonderful boyfriend decided to get a bar job so him coming back at 3am a few nights a week means that I can’t sleep until he gets back safe and then we compensate and sleep late the next day. It’s hard to keep up a routine when his work is so sporadic and unusual and I find it really hard to get out of bed and start my day without him (which sounds really lame and I’m aware of that).

And being more careful with money is going really well too – as described in my ‘no spend’ month blog post, I’m actually getting really close to being out of my overdraft and it’s looking like my payday at the end of June will see me into the positive! I’ll be very glad to close this resolution off soon.

My creative goals were:

  • Keep learning about photography
  • Maintain my blog and YouTube channel
  • Make sure to keep trying out new content
  • Start writing again
  • Find new creative outlets

Photography is something I’m learning to appreciate more – I’ve started less and less to use my phone for blog photos and using my little Canon EOS M10, I care more about my Instagram (I even have a colour theme now!) and I think more about what I take photos of. I’m enjoying photography and I’m excited for the chance to take more photography opportunities in the coming months.

Maintaining my blog and YouTube channel has been mostly consistent, but I’ve been better at not beating myself up if I’m not up to editing a video or I don’t have faith in my idea for a blog post. Making new and creative content is what is currently stopping me from maintaining my blog and YouTube channel but I’m working on balancing the two and making more of what I want and exploring what I want to create, whether that be on the platforms I already use or finding new ways to express myself, which was another resolution anyway.

But that hasn’t led me to start writing again. I planned out a couple of fanfiction story arcs but I can’t bring myself to write them – I’ve not written anything properly for years and that still disappoints me but I have other things I have to prioritise right now and I think that’s okay, or at least coming to terms with it will suffice.

My university goals:

  • Stay motivated
  • Stay organised
  • Keep trying new things
  • Keep putting yourself out there
  • Work experience

Whilst second year has drawn to a close, 2017 wouldn’t be complete without the first half of my third and final year as a multimedia journalism student in Southampton. So far I’ve stayed motivated, organised, I was experimental and tried new things, I put myself out there and how was I do know that a mere few weeks after I wrote these resolutions I was to be offered a two week placement with BBC Three. My university goals are without a shadow of a doubt the most successful of my goals so far (my end of second year mark will be confirmed on Saturday, though if my maths is correct it’s going to be really close).

I’m so proud of myself for what I’ve achieved at university this year and what I’ve achieved in the first five months of the year. Hopefully the following seven will be as promising.

It’s nice to be able to check in on goals and make sure you’re making progress – I wasn’t expecting to find anything completely ticked off but I’ve made a start or am working on pretty much everything on the list. I’m almost excited to check in again later in the year or at the beginning of 2018, though that feels an awfully long way away yet.

Something I’ve struggled a lot with a lot is being able to acknowledge the steps I’ve made and stop looking at the top of the mountain. A goal can’t be reached in one step and each step is worth praising.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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‘if you had three wishes, what would they be?’ | creative writing

2017

It’s a common discussion – almost as much as what you’d do with the money if you won the lottery: if you had three wishes, what would they be?

Now, the obvious seems to be money, some sort of infinite riches to live a comfortable life, or perhaps a luxurious house that you didn’t need to take a mortgage out to afford. Physical possessions are what most would consider first.

Then there’s those things that always cause controversy in the movies – love, respect, bringing people back from the dead, infinite wishes; the kind of wish that removes free will and gets everyone talking about free will and control of others.

But then, what do you wish for?

My genie stayed with me for a long time – I didn’t believe it at first, I was only 8 and my mum had gone into some antique furniture shop to find a set of drawers and I was playing in the old dresser when I was looking through all the drawers and found this old oil lamp.

It was dusty and clearly hadn’t been touched in a very long time. I opened the lid, peering inside there was a little scroll – I thought it would have a price on it but it just said ‘Take me home’. So I did. I shoved it in my bag and took it home.

I started dusting it off and as soon as I started polishing it this gold mist poured out the spout and swirling around my room into this man. Just a human man, or who appeared to be a human man.

Of course, as an 8 year old, I wished for a secret stash of sweets that my mum couldn’t see (and so the invisible, never ending sweet jar came to be) but then I became surprisingly thoughtful and didn’t want to waste my last two wishes.

My genie went back into his lamp and I could summon him whenever I decided what I wanted to use my last two wishes on. And I didn’t see him for fifteen years.

It became a complex of mine – do I wish for the things that’ll make me happy immediately or do I go for long term happiness? I wanted to wait until I knew exactly what I wanted to wish for.

Then I met him – he was at the bar with his friends when I was on a girls night, I was buying a round of drinks and he stood next to me at the bar; no chat up lines, no cheesy compliments, just genuinely started chatting to me and we haven’t stopped since.

I’ve never cared about anyone more in my life – he was everything. We both quit our jobs and went travelling for a year and we lived more in those three years we spent together than I had in the rest of my life. He asked me to marry him and I did.

Then came the complications – we couldn’t conceive. We wanted children more than anything and in that instant I knew what my second wish was.

And it was granted, we had two gorgeous little boys and everything we perfect.

But I still had one wish.

What do you do with that last wish? What if I wasted it and regretted it in years to come? What if something happened to my family and I couldn’t change it?

And that’s when I realised. The oil lamp had taught me a lesson – having wishes of unlimited grandeur isn’t a blessing, it’s a curse that weighs down on you and makes you look at the world with too much of a negative eye.

If I had learnt anything it was that I wished to be present – all those years I spent learning about myself with him and with my children and I just wanted to experience it. I don’t need to spend the rest of my life worrying about what my last wish is.

So I got my oil lamp out again and saw the man I’d known for thirty years.

“What is your final wish, my child?”

“To not have any more wishes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want the last wish. You can be free, whether it be a genie or a man, be free.”

“You think I could be human?”

He looked so hopeful, years of serving and waiting and I knew exactly how to use this last wish.

“I wish you to have the life you desire.”

And the lamp evapourated into a pile of that same gold mist I saw so long ago – my genie was shrouded in this same mist and then suddenly it was gone. He no longer wore his ornate gold jewellery or his serving clothes but jeans and an old sweatshirt; he was his own man.

“I can’t thank you enough.”

“And neither can I.”


Hello!

That took a very different turn than I expected it to, but whenever I write creatively on this blog it always ends up reading like soppy fanfiction without the ‘fan’ aspect.

I love doing these little pieces every now and then and it reminds me how much I love creative writing but focusing on writing my book (alongside having time for it) isn’t something I’m very good at.

For one, creative writing used to be something that my best friend from secondary school and I would do together – it was our thing, it was one of the reasons we were so close and she was there throughout the entire process of writing the first draft of my book. So going back to it is difficult because I think of her and while the memories are fond, the fact that we don’t talk any more saddens me sometimes.

But then on the flip side, in terms of getting a book published and getting agents and publishers to be interested in your writing is something I just can’t find any information on – agents have to be paid and google will only give me information on self publishing which is not something I’m interested in doing.

Writing these little posts are really therapeutic, in a way, for me and from the amount of likes and views the last couple of posts have got, I think maybe there are people that like reading them too.

So do you mind if I keep doing it?

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

 

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