being fashion conscious on a low budget (and when not to feel guilty about where you shop)

2020, fashion, sustainability

Hello!

Fashion in a minefield at the best of times – keeping up with what’s trendy and what’s not (if you care, I don’t particularly), what clothes really look like on people that aren’t size 6 models and then figuring out how that all fits with your budget.

Having followed many beauty and fashion influencers (not because I particularly care about fashion, I just like the personalities) I’ve seen so many talks about capsule wardrobes, fast fashion, slow fashion, hauls from every fast fashion brand you’ve ever heard of, wished for pieces from more ethical brands that are way beyond my price range  and watched people make and up-cycle their own clothes.

And it often gets me thinking – as a teenager, I definitely had far too many clothes and as I moved every year at uni I’ve become far more interested in minimalistic living and getting more use out of the clothes I own (and repurposing all my old t-shirts into a big nostalgic blanket). So on one side of the ‘slow fashion’ coin, I’m doing alright at making sure I get enough wear out of the clothes I own and it makes me much more thoughtful when I am purchasing new clothes.

Buying new clothes is where I start to feel hypocritical – I love following creators that were sustainable brands and learning more about ethical companies and what makes fast fashion so unethical.

But I can’t afford it.

I can’t justify spending £50+ on one item of clothing, even if the cost-per-wear is significantly lower for how long it lasts, that still doesn’t mean I have the income to buy something that price in this moment. So I do my best to shop second hand in charity shops or find new ways to style the clothes I already have, but I do still shop in fast fashion brands because that’s all I can afford.

I treated myself to a little mooch in town the other day and after buying another house plant in Wilko, I wondered round Primark, popped into H&M and picked up an order in M&S. Granted, I didn’t actually buy that much – a pair of denim shorts and a t-shirt in Primark and a dress in H&M (and some jeggings in the M&S sale but they don’t fit so I think I’ll take them back) and the whole time I couldn’t help but think about how I shouldn’t be shopping in or supporting these brands.

But I can’t afford to spend more than £10 on a pair of shorts, I’ve been looking for summer dresses all summer and when there’s a pair of jeggings in the sale for £5.50 it’s too good to leave behind.

And I shouldn’t let myself feel guilty about all this! Fast fashion is definitely still the biggest avenue of the fashion industry and whilst I’m still a full time student who can’t get a job and no income other than some family support to pay my bills, I’ve got to make compromises where I have to.

I think being mindful is the key to all this – when I do shop, I’m now much more thoughtful about what I already have, what I will actually wear and making the most of the clothes I do spend money on. I don’t own a pair of denim shorts so I could justify buying them, I’m wearing a lot more t-shirts at the moment and I loved the design so I could justify it; I’ve been looking for summer dresses in a style I like for months and the one I found in H&M was perfect (and looked really cute, might I add!). I wasn’t doubling up on things I already had for the sake of it – I’m still in the mindset of curating and developing my wardrobe to work in every season.

As I finish my masters and develop my career and have a bigger income to work with, I know I can justify spending more money on clothes knowing I won’t have to replace them as frequently and the people that made it are being fairly paid and working in good conditions. But for now, I have to make compromises where I can – fixing up clothes I own rather than replacing them, experimenting with the clothes I have in my wardrobe to give them a new lease of life; turning my long dungarees into short dungarees for he summer because I’ll get more wear out of them that way!

It’s all a balance – as we learn more about slow fashion and prioritise ethical shopping over cheap consumerism, there will surely be more options to make high quality, ethical clothes accessible for everyone, whether it’s being able to pay in instalments, normalising not buying new clothes as frequently or making the most of second hand shopping.

Being more mindful is a great first step – environmental progress doesn’t come from a few people doing it perfectly, it comes from everyone doing it imperfectly. If everyone was more mindful of how often and where they were shopping, took more public transport and ate one less meat based meal a week it would all add up to make a huge difference.

I don’t know a lot about these kinds of topics, but I’m doing my best to learn. I recommend following Ellie Stennett, Lucid Seams and Clean Kick on instagram if you want some accessible, not preachy ways of learning more about being more environmentally friendly in fashion, recycling and cruelty free beauty!

(also Simple Politics if you find the world a bit too complicated and need some nice simple graphics to make it more understandable!)

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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Treasured In… July

2020, books, fashion, lifestyle, wedding

Hello!

Another month has passed, though I’m not entirely sure how because I’m pretty sure it was May yesterday but time has passed me by! More stuff has happened, I’ve bought things, reads things, watched things and I’m going to share it all!

Let’s jump right in, because otherwise another month will come and go without me noticing!


purchase:

Having had a couple of ‘no spend’ months, this isn’t a category I’ve included so far but I actually let myself by some things this month so I wanted to share. I wrote a whole blog post about the books I bought/acquired this month – I’d run out of physical books I hadn’t read in our house since we moved last year so I definitely made up for it at the beginning of the month. I’ve now had to stop letting myself by books because I’m never going to read them all at this rate!

Then there’s two items of clothing that I adore this month – what I’m calling my Explorer Shorts from Primark, they’re a khaki green stretchy denim short that give me Lara Croft vibes but they’re elasticated; big fan!

And then I picked up a lovely navy cardigan from M&Co in the sale that is super cosy, I’m almost disappointed when it’s really warm because I can’t wear it.

blog post:

Someone I went to school with shared this article about Lockdown Weight Gain and I found it really interesting reading about the emotional impact of weight gain, particularly in a pandemic that is encouraging discussion about the impact of lockdown on mental health (though I’m not sure how much is being done?).

recipe:

I’m not big on trying new things at the moment – eating food that I’m familiar with and recipes I already know how to do has been the only cooking I’ve really done, but last week I made brownies for the first time in years and it was so good.

I definitely undercooked it, but it means I’ve got a super gooey fudgey brownie so I wasn’t gutted about it. Whilst putting a whole pound of brown sugar into a bowl was something that made me consider not making brownie anymore, it’s really good and the recipe I used was the one my mum gave me when I moved to uni so I can’t link it but I could make a blog post about it if there’s interest?

music:

I’m about two months behind on watching my YouTube subscriptions, but I watched Tom Fletcher and Danny Jones from McFly, Olly Murrs, Niall Horan and James Arthur covering Shine a Light, an older McFly song, and I was blown away by how amazing the cover was. I’m a pretty big McFly fan, hence why I’m subscribed to Tom’s YouTube channel, but I’ve never paid too much attention to the other three artists, though I know most of their ‘super popular’ songs. I’m obsessed with Niall’s voice and I need to listen to his most recent album.

Seeing how musicians are adapting to not being able to continue working as usual and making the most of remotely collaborating is very exciting.

YouTube video:

As I mentioned, I’m about two months behind on watching YouTube videos but my favourite video this month was from Mykie / Glam and Gore doing Halloween costume hacks from a 5 minute craft video considering my boyfriend is currently going through a phase of watching 5 minute crafts in secret (to the degree that he was watching them after I’d fallen asleep one night and I woke up at 6am to strange voices in our bedroom because he’d fallen asleep with them on). Either way! The video Mykie made was really fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

books I’ve read:

Where She Went (Gayle Forman) – after re-reading ‘if I stay’, ‘where she went’ was a pleasant enough unnecessary sequel. The first half was a whiney young man who couldn’t communicate his feelings and had an unhealthy relationship with medication and substances, then it actually starts to explore the relationship between the two main characters from the first book and the heart and poetic nature of the narrative returned.

The Memory Cage (Ruth Eatham) – I downloaded this book for free from Amazon with Prime Reading on my Kindle because I ran out of physical books and it was definitely meant for a more middle grade audience, but it was a nice heartfelt story about adoption, family and loss. I actually really enjoyed reading on my kindle so I’m definitely going to buy more books on there in the future.

Masha Regina (Vadim Leventhal) – I picked up this book for 50p and I was really excited about getting such a bargain, but it turned out to be 50p for a reason. There just wasn’t much of a story at all. I wrote a full review on instagram, but I wouldn’t recommend – the review is potentially more entertaining than the book.

Currently reading: Blame (Jeff Abbott) – I don’t often read crime and whilst this book was in the grown up fiction second, it feels very YA to me because it’s about a girl in college and I think that’s part of the reason I’m enjoying it more than I expected. When you’re reading a book you expect to be able to trust everything the protagonist experiences to be true, but the more that I read the more I’m not sure who is trustworthy and it’s really interesting. Keep an eye on my instagram for a full review when I finish it!

snack:

When visiting my boyfriend’s family earlier this month, we went to Tescos for a meal deal and spotted these ‘French style’ Madeleine cakes and whilst we were in Paris last year, we became obsessed with these cakes called ‘Quatre Quart’ (or something) and we think we’ve found it! We think it’s the same cake! So we’ve eaten a disproportionate amount of them (they’re so good).

tv / film / streaming / something to watch:

As with eating food I already know how to cook, I’m not really in the mood for watching anything new and not knowing how it’s going to play with my emoTIoNs but whilst we were on a little holiday at the beginning of the month we watched quite a bit of Escape to the Country and now I’m thinking about property a lot and I want to watch more trashy daytime TV.

wedding planning update:

We viewed a venue! The only placed we’ve viewed and I’m obsessed, it’s beautiful, it’s got everything we want, amazing accommodation and we could really see ourselves getting married there. The quote we received after the viewing was much higher than we thought it would be but for the venue that we love so much, we think we’re going to do some negotiations and work more to pay for it. There’s actually some wedding progress! Over two years in advance maybe a little premature but there’s still actual progress!


July has been mad and August is set to be much quieter, but who knows at this point!

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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making the most of your wardrobe (without buying anything new)

2020, creativity, fashion, sustainability

Hello!

This is my third attempt at writing a blog post for today. I just couldn’t settle on idea but after browsing The Anna Edit for some inspiration, I thought I’d have a ramble about clothes as someone who doesn’t have the income to buy anything new but quite often feels overwhelmed by what I have.

Often, we can feel a little lack lustre with our wardrobe – the ‘I have nothing to wear while I’m staring at a full wardrobe’ syndrome. I’m by no means an expert – I haven’t nailed the capsule wardrobe, I still spend more time than I care to admit browsing clothing websites and I quite often end up wearing the same outfits again and again.

But I have been on a long relationship with refining my wardrobe – two years ago I sorted through my clothes and donated six bin bags of clothes I didn’t wear. I really don’t know how I ever fit them in my uni house in the first place. From there I continued refining my wardrobe – when I was packing to move I got rid of more clothes, when I unpacked I got rid of more clothes and two years later I have got a wardrobe that I feel works for all seasons and reflects my style, each item getting the appropriate amount of wear.

One of the key things I found helped with actually wearing everything in my wardrobe was storage – if you can’t see everything in your wardrobe, there’s no way you’ll remember everything you’ve got and several piles of clothes will just gather dust at the back of your shelves. In this respect, the seasonal capsule wardrobe works really well for this because you’re constantly switching out and keeping everything fresh but if that’s not what you want, some new storage solutions might be the way.

Whether it’s buying some shelf dividers, folding your clothes in a different way or just pulling everything out and starting again, refreshing how your wardrobe is organised will not only help you see everything better but it can also remind you of particular items you’ve not worn for a while that you still love!

The next thing I would recommend, is sorting through your wardrobe regularly to decide whether there’s anything you want to donate or replace or if there’s any gaps you think a new item may help with. I did a ‘wear it all’ challenge in February where I only wore each item in my wardrobe once throughout the month, then at the end of the month I went through everything that was left and it made me think about why I hadn’t worn it and whether I still wanted to keep it. I made a note in my bullet journal that I want to sort through my wardrobe again at the beginning of the September – as the summer starts to change into autumn I can think about which clothes I’ve been avoiding, bring my winter clothes to the front and get excited for chunky knits and cosy coats.

And lastly, if you’re feeling creatively stumped by your wardrobe, get crafty with it! Turn those dungarees into a playsuit (but probably get someone to help you make sure both legs are even!), add some patches to your favourite jeans (you can use any clothes you’ve put aside as spare material) or tie dye an old t-shirt or hoodie to give it a fresh look! The longer we’re in lockdown, the longer we’ll all be looking for something to do so why not get creative with your clothes? @lucid.seams on instagram up-cycles clothes with the most beautiful acrylic painting, @catherinehyden did this really cute embroidery on a t-shirt and my sister @lauradoesathing makes entire cosplay costumes, from scratch, designing her own patterns, and making actual clothes. You don’t have to be super skilled at sewing to try something new with your clothes.

Personal fashion and style changes so often, so finding new ways to wear clothes you already have and matching new pieces together can feel so creatively invigorating!

Thank you for reading – I hope you and your loved ones are happy, healthy and staying safe!

Sophie xx

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feeling body neutral in a world of ‘# body positivity’

2020, fashion, mental health

Hello!

We all know that loving the body you live in when we see numerous other bodies of all shapes and sizes all over our social media every day isn’t easy – ‘is this what normal looks like?’, ‘should I look more like her?’, or even ‘everything would be easier if I looked like that’.

Whilst it’s easy to say we shouldn’t think that and we should love our body however it looks, it’s never that simple, is it?

Body positivity is fantastic but wow it can be super intimidating if you’re coming from a place of years of self hatred and insecurity!

A YouTuber and influencer I’ve been following for a few years, Lucy Moon, used the phrase ‘body neutral’ on her instagram once (probably a few times) and it made me feel immediately at peace – stay with me, I know it sounds melodramatic – it just made me feel like I wasn’t fighting for this ‘glorious’ positivity that I felt like I had to feel. It gave me a phrase that I could look to that meant I could work towards feeling more comfortable in my own skin without having to love and adore everything I’ve spent so long trying to change.

Feeling body neutral can be a step towards body positivity – maybe one day I’ll love my body for everything it is, but right now I don’t hate living in it and that’s enough. It takes time to break down those mental barriers and feeling body neutral is such an inclusive step towards that. But even being body neutral is enough. As long as you’re not hurting anybody – including yourself – you don’t have to love every part of you.

My relationship with my body has completely changed in the past couple of months – I went from hating every ounce of my body to the extent that in the past I’ve had to cover up mirrors because I just couldn’t bear my own reflection to being comfortable (most days!) in my own skin. Strangely, what changed that was wearing a motion capture suit in front of my masters class.

I’d thought about volunteering to be the motion capture subject ever since I found out we were doing motion capture – the thought of pirouetting and dancing around the studio and making something creative out of it was super fun. But I hadn’t connected that wearing the motion capture suit meant showing every single lump and bump I had to a group of people I’ve realistically only known for a few months.

I volunteered, the realisation hit me, I had a minor internal panic, then I did it anyway because I was having a ‘brave day’ and sometimes you have to push yourself to do things you don’t want to do. I went to put on the suit and I was mildly mortified and then when I walked into the room… no one cared! There were no side glances, no one was violently sick and my best gals even made me feel good.

Then we learnt all about the mocap software and I danced and pranced around the room with a power ranger esqe version of me on the screen and it was a super fun afternoon. Then I pushed myself even more and went on a night out that evening (for my anxiety, that was a big deal) – and I put on a playsuit I’ve had since for five years and it still fit (granted it was a different fit but I felt amazing!) and I wore my new docs and I felt on top of the world with my best mates by my side cheering me on.

Some weirdo jiggled my wobbly arm in a nightclub and I wasn’t phased? Mostly concerned as to why a human would touch another human they don’t know that way but I flipped him off and danced the night away!

And since then, I’ve felt exactly that – body neutral. There’s still the odd day where I’ll touch my belly fat and think I’d quite like to just slice it all away, but then I get over it and my boyfriend tells me he thinks I’m sexy and I’m like you know what? I don’t feel sexy but I am gosh darn adorable.

Body neutrality gave me the space to be okay with my body without loving or hating it and if you’re having a tough time right now – don’t push yourself to feel any particular way about your body. Try not to spend time overanalysing or scrutinising – where clothes that make you feel nice, surround yourself with people that make you feel fabulous and if following ‘body positive’ people online makes you feel pressure to love yourself when you don’t, click unfollow.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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wear it all February | sustainable clothing challenge

2020, fashion, goals, sustainability

Hello!

My relationship with fashion has always been a bit strange – between owning a hundred t-shirts, enjoying a bit of ‘fast fashion’ before the phrase existed and now trying to re-establish what I actually consider my ‘style’ and approach to fashion.

Last summer, someone I follow on Instagram did a challenge called ‘wear it all July’ – she only allowed herself to wear everything in her wardrobe once and it forced her to try new things with her clothes and really highlighted the clothes she kept avoiding that she didn’t want to wear them. I’d thought about trying it for a while but the last few months have been hectic and now is the first chance I’ve had to do it.

So I’m doing ‘wear it all February’ – a challenge where I only wear the items in my wardrobe once. Obviously I’m not including any underwear, pyjamas, workout gear or shoes (I definitely don’t have enough) and my plan is to rewear clothes only if I run out in that ‘category’. For example, I know I don’t have enough trousers to get my through the month but I’m already incorporating more dresses into my outfits than I’ve worn in a very long time.

I’m finding taking this approach makes choosing what to wear more thoughtful than ‘jeans and a cosy knit’. I’m looking at my wardrobe in a whole new way and it’s going to help me see more of what I’ve got, especially when I’m down to the last few days at the end of the month.

Currently, the way I’m organising my clothes is that once I’ve worn them, I’ll either put them in the wash if they need washing or fold them up in the bottom of my wardrobe to redistribute next month when I reintegrate all my clothes back into the wardrobe. And as more clothes go into the pile at the bottom of the wardrobe I’ll be able to literally see the clothes I don’t wear very often more clearly.

Not only is this going to stop me buying new clothes, I think it’ll give a new lise of life to clothes I already have and remind me why I loved them in the first place. I’m loving finding a new approach to fashion – looking in charity shops, watching videos of people upcycling some of their clothes and having the same clothes for years and years sounds like something I should have always been doing. Consumerism, the business of fast fashion and the short-term gratification of shiny new things is hard to unlearn!

But this month that is my intention. I haven’t been taking outfit photos so far (because I forgot on day one and didn’t see the point in continuing at that point). I’m definitely going to write another post at the end of this month talking about how it went but if you have any questions or ideas about the ‘wear it all challenge’ then please let me know!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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what I want – Autumn lust list

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

The internet is the place for hauls right? YouTube hauls, blog hauls, Instagram hauls, even Twitter hauls are a thing but today I’m going to flip it – rather than stuff I’ve bought, here’s a list of stuff I want to buy.

(I’m fully aware this isn’t an original idea, just thought it would be fun!)

Lucy and Yak dungarees – I think every blogger under the sun has seen someone on Instagram wearing Lucy and Yak dungarees. The pair I’ve linked are the glorious rainbow stripe dungarees that are unfortunately sold out, but there’s rainbow trousers that I’m kind of obsessed with, these mid-wash denim dungas that look super comfy and these bluey-purple striped dungas to make up for it! I’m massively exploring my relationship with clothes I’ve never thought ‘suited me’ and incorporating bold patterns into my wardrobe and whilst I’ve had my eye on these for a while, I just can’t justify the price. Maybe further along the line when I’ve got something to reward myself for but right now where I’m focusing on sustainable fashion and getting lots of wear out of the clothes I’ve got, Lucy and Yak are staying on my Lust List.

Dr Martens – yes I already have a pair… no I don’t have a black fur-lined pair so obviously I need them. The choice is between the fur-lined Chelsea boots, the fur-lined traditional boots or… just a pair of black Docs. I love how these look when styled – how they can make a really feminine outfit look a bit more edgy (or am I just a nerd trying to look ‘edgy’?). I’ve worn my maroon pair so much and I can’t wait to get back into styling them in the winter months, maybe this is the year for another pair…?

& Other Stories sweater – this one is new to the Lust List – I saw Rhiannon Ashley wearing this on her Instagram a few days ago and fell in love with it. Then she shared the link and I saw the price tag and suddenly it became infinitely less appealing, but still looked so soft and comfy – it’s the combination of cosy Autumnal knitwear and easy to throw on hoodie that gets me. The £75 price tag is a massive negative for me and brands like ‘& Other Stories’ don’t tend to cater to a plus sized audience so their L (because obviously they have an XS but not an XL) is probably a size 12, maybe 14 at a push and making girls everywhere feel ‘large’ and inconvenient for being an average (below average) size.

Can you tell I’m passionate about these matters?

Still really like the sweater though.

Space necklace from Eclectic Eccentricity – I first heard about this brand from Hannah Witton in one of her favourites videos – she showed me space jewellery and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. This gorgeous necklace captures everything I love about cutesy moon drawings and delicate, subtle silver necklaces and pairs them together in a lovely £38 bundle. If Santa’s listening, it’s on my Christmas list (is it still too soon for the C word?).

Pajamei Slippers – maybe a little bit niche but here we go – the only video game I really play is a franchise called Overwatch. One of the characters in this game is an ice queen better than Elsa – Mei is an environmental scientist who’s the only surviving member of her team when she wakes up in a cryo-chamber. One of her skins (‘outfit’ in video game terminology) is a chilled out skin called Paja-Mei (I love it so much). I really wanted to cosplay this outfit at MCM Comic Con next year but I think the jumper and potentially the PJ bottoms have been discontinued, that doesn’t stop me from wanting these slippers more than anything. Again, I think they’ve sold out because there’s no size options left but a girl can live in hope.

And those are the items I can’t stop thinking about – a lot of these items are much more pricy than I would ever spend on clothes/things to wear usually. If I did buy them they would be special treat purchases for sure but when I weigh up these things against the amount of clothes I could buy in Primark or the pens I could buy on Amazon, quantity usually wins but hey! We’ll see what happens in the long run.

What are the ‘luxe’ items that you yearn for but can’t bring yourself to buy? Any brands that I should be looking at for plus sized clothing? Let me know!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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a taste of Autumn… | outfit

2019, fashion, photography

Hello!

This week has been a whirlwind – my boyfriend and I were all geared up to move across country on Friday, then the day before my birthday we were told (with three days to go) that we can’t move in yet, then it was my birthday, then we went to go see a Pointless recording and now we’re in the area we’re moving to because we still need to be here even though we have nowhere to live so we’re hotel hopping!

That was a long sentence, wasn’t it?

Regardless of all the crap going on around it, I had a wonderful birthday – a lovely chilled out day with my favourite person and he took me to a lovely local spot called Rutland Water and I went a bit mad on Huji so I thought I’d share some of the pictures!

Views like this make me so happy – I love water, I love the sound and watching the waves ripple against the tide. I could have sat there all afternoon if it wasn’t quite so windy!

Look at my favourite boy 💜

We got very comfy on that bench – a nice cuddle, a little bit of tattoo picture placement, I could just about smell salty water in the air and we thoroughly enjoyed watching the ducks swim against the tide.

This is legitimately one of my new favourite pictures and I couldn’t not include it!

This is the closest I get to being a brave adventurer – I love pretending I’m this cool exciting person that traverses rocks with ease but really I was very cautious and didn’t really trust anything I stood on. But I tried!

Then my boyfriend took cute pictures – I love this outfit so much. These dungarees make me feel like a toddler and it was my birthday and I was near water with my favourite person hence the expression of joy that literally made me throw my hands up in the air.

And here’s the outfit – the key thing for me as it gets colder is layers. I’m not big on ‘summer/winter wardrobes’ because I just wear the same clothes year round with different layers. So this kind of outfit is pretty staple for me!

Starting from the bottom – the trainers are Primark (and surprisingly comfy, thoroughly recommend), the dungarees are this seasons Primark (thin but comfy and look good with the legs rolled down too), the stripy tee is a Primark basic (that almost certainly cost me less than £2) and the cardigan is from my mum’s wardrobe. It’s one of those things that I borrowed once and then I said ‘mum have you ever worn this’ and she said ‘no you can have it’, which is the best response to be honest.

Dungarees, pinafores and some other items of clothing have been the kind of looks I’ve wanted to wear for so long but I’ve always been put off because I didn’t think they’d flatter me. But last year I bit the bullet and bought a pinafore which I love and I actually feel really cute in and this year it’s dungarees! These ones are actually too big for me but I’m a tall person with quite the tummy so getting dunga’s that fit is a mission, but these will do for now!

What is your favourite thing to wear in Autumn? I’m currently resisting all the knitwear in shops but I’m excited to get mine out when we finally move!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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you know what? I feel like me! | outfit

2019, fashion

Hello!

Like most women, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of an emotional journey with the relationship I have with my body – but this last year has seen some real highs and lows.

I’ve not really taken my weight loss that seriously for a few months now – I was exercising then I got hot, then I got stressed so worrying about what I was eating wasn’t something I had enough mental energy to prioritise so right now, I have no idea what I weigh or anything.

But you know what? Sometimes I catch myself in a mirror or a reflection and I feel more like me than I’ve felt in a very long time. Maybe I’m stress losing weight but god knows I’ve been stress eating to no end, either way – I’ve got to a point where I don’t actually care. I like my clothes, I don’t hate how I look on them and I’m enjoying my afternoon ice cream more than ever!

It doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop trying to make healthier choices – I still want to lose weight and inevitably I want to be thinner and stronger but I’m also not too bothered if I stay how I am now (especially with winter and jumper season coming back in sooner rather than later!).

It’s a weird feeling because I know that it probably won’t last and I’ll be doing everything I can to loose weight again soon but sometimes you just have to make the most of the feeling in the moment! And this outfit made me feel good so I thought I’d share.

The jeans are from my mum’s wardrobe because I can’t afford to replace mine at the moment, the shirt is from New look last year and the cardigan is also from my mum’s wardrobe because I wanted a thin cardigan and she never wears it. All in all, a half hearted outfit post because apparently I just dress from my mum’s wardrobe (sorry mum!) but I still really enjoy this outfit!

In the next month or so my boyfriend and I will be moving to start the next chapter of our lives together (that sounds much more melodramatic than it actually is) – I’ve been slowly decluttering my clothes for the best part of two years, slowly refining and figuring out what I want from my clothes and I’m really excited to have a little more expendable income to start building up on some more staple items. I’m really feeling like I need a floaty dress and a fun skirt in my wardrobe!

Fashion is so much fun and it so often gets paired with body positivity because so much of mainstream media can’t help but only include a certain type of person in any kind of clothes. Body positivity is so much more than the clothes we do or don’t wear – it’s how we feel when we’re standing looking in the mirror before we get in the shower, it’s how we feel when we see group pictures that we’re in, it’s how we feel about ourselves.

There’s a long way to go with body positivity in the media and there’s a long way to go with my personal journey with body positivity but we’re getting there and I like my stripy shirt!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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one month since I shaved my head

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

July 23rd marks one calendar month since I braved the shave for Macmillan Cancer Support – one month since two of my cousins and my sister took to my hair with scissors and an electric razor and I watched all of my hair (surprisingly grey) rain down around me.

A month later, I’m mostly surprised by how quickly it’s growing back – it’s very nearly at a length where it has direction and hopefully soon I’ll get to start playing around with a fringe. I’m actually really excited about playing around with a fringe – I’ve been toying with the idea of a full fringe for a couple of years now and this is the perfect time to figure it out, because if I don’t want it I just brush it to the side and carry on growing it out!

I’ve been making a list of things I’ve noticed about having a shaved head and next month I’m going to make a video for my YouTube channel with some of these observations, but mostly? I’ve been showered with love and praise – so many people have told me how brave I am and in all honesty? I don’t really think it is that brave – all I did was cut my hair off? That’s nothing compared to the people who benefit from charities like Macmillan – it’s literally nothing, hair is so unimportant and it baffles me why as a species we’re so attached to our hair and how it can define us so much.

I get it – I’ve spent five plus years dying my hair and using it as an expression of myself and I guess I don’t see it as confidence to be my own person without my hair, to not be defined by it. But I suppose some may see that as a really confident move, even though I am without a shadow of a doubt the least confident person I know!

Even though it’s been a month, I still don’t really feel used to it. Even getting in the shower I thought ‘oh I have to take my ponytail out before I get in’ and I have to remind myself fairly regularly that it’s not a ponytail, it’s just gone!

So far there’s not a lot of downsides – it’s so easy to wash and dry, I never have to think about styling or anything because it’s not long enough yet and on a windy day it’s wonderful not having my hair stick to my lipstick!

I think as it gets to that in between length it’ll be less fun because it won’t be long enough to do anything with but too long and look a bit silly. I’m genuinely excited to have the opportunity to see what my hair looks like at every possible length, even if the in between stages aren’t as flattering.

There was a few times I thought I might regret shaving my hair off and so far, I’m not feeling that at all – I’m excited for the regrowth and sometimes I will it to grow faster but between experimenting with styling and colour I’m genuinely really excited.

So far it’s not got any shape to it and my hair before I shaved it was pretty curly and I’m fascinated as to when (or if!) it’ll start curling again. There’s so much potential and possibilities and I’m genuinely so excited about it.

Maybe when I make a YouTube video about it I could do a Q&A? Do you have any questions about my decision, the process or my time since I shaved? If you do, leave a comment and I’ll answer it in my video!

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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being a fat person in summer

2019, fashion, lifestyle

Hello!

Now the main reason I wanted to use a word like ‘fat’ in the title of this post is because so many people have negative associations with it when it’s actually just a description – it’s just a kind of cell that is in every single person’s body and it shouldn’t be detrimental!

I’m fat! Am I okay with being fat? Not really! Am I promoting being overweight? Of course not! But should we be afraid of the word fat? Most definitely not.

And back onto the topic of the post! Being a fat person in summer has it’s own set of challenges – the biggest is chub rub, the second I think is feeling hot and sweaty all the bloody time and then third it’s definitely how every gosh darn person will judge you whatever you’re wearing. Something with sleeves? Why are you wearing so much?! Something without sleeves? Wow, it’s so brave of you to where clothes like that! Daring to wear a crop top? ‘I don’t think that’s very flattering for someone with your figure’. There’s no winning!

There’s so much pressure on women at this time of year anyway between ‘bikini bodies’ and celebrities getting shamed on the front of magazines for having the most natural belly rolls and thighs that actually touch, but there is something about summer that is extra difficult for those of that carry a little bit more insulation.

As well as getting judged for everything we wear, it is physically uncomfortable – it’s not just chub rub when you walk, it’s becoming so much more aware of your body and everywhere skin touches. I’d offer tips and tricks but anyone who’s experienced any of these problems knows the best way to handle it, but I’d recommending watching Hannah Witton’s video trying out lots of chub rub products and not wearing clothes that are too baggy because there can be a lot going on under there.

I wanted today’s post to be an outfit post but I didn’t have time to take photos – I love wearing summer clothes and experimenting with fashion and whilst figuring out new ways to wear my snuggliest jumpers is a thrill, figuring out how to love my body in nearly cropped tees and outfits that aren’t as floaty or flattering is a challenge that I’ve willingly embraced this year rather than hiding behind the one outfit that I could bare to look at myself in.

This post was more of a ramble than a point with a conclusion and I think sometimes those are the best posts because we can all vent and unite about how crap it is being sweaty in summer! Under boob sweat is the only reason I bother with a bra anymore! Tell me about your least favourite thing about summer and how you cope with it in the comments!

Don’t get me wrong – I love when it’s warm, when you go outside and it actually feels warm on your skin. My favourite ever time of day is summer evenings when there’s a chill in the air but it’s comfortable and it’s light but it’s getting dark and you’re in the garden with an ice cold drink and good company (and preferably a fire pit) and I wouldn’t get that without a bit of heat and uncomfortable sweat.

Thank you so much for reading,

Sophie xx

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