Hello!

Writing and filming for my blog and YouTube channel have been a challenge recently – I’ve not felt inspired, the longer I left it the more difficult I found it to approach creating anything and I just put it off for longer and longer.

So I’ve reevaluated – I had a think about what I want my focus to be and I want to redesign my blog a little bit. I want to enjoy blogging and I don’t want it to feel like a chore or a responsibility – I want to feel more chatty and conversational and maybe make my blog more like a diary which is where blogging began really.

In my head I know I want to write blog posts somewhat inspired or rooted in things that happen in my life (which isn’t much right now, these past few months have just been uni assignments, Sonar Film and Drama and Performance society) and have a somewhat bigger message. But that’s a lot of pressure? Do I want to talk about clothes and make-up because that’s where I see lots of successful bloggers but does that make it harder to be successful? Do I talk about uni life or YouTube or films because they’re all things that are a big part of my life but does anyone care?

Does anyone care about what I’m saying? Does anyone care about the words I’m writing? Spending my time and effort crafting, taking photos, promoting on socials? Why do I bother?

I bother because I love writing. It’s almost like a therapy for me before it gets it off my chest and I feel a lot better for writing. Why do I make YouTube videos? Because I love filming and editing and crafting these memories. But why? Why don’t I keep it private?

Because I’d love it to be successful. People can say all day long about how they write for themselves or their family or they make YouTube videos for the same reason but then why are they made public? Because at the end of the day people want an audience, they probably want this to be a career and I feel like that shouldn’t be shunned.

I’ve seen so many blog posts and YouTube videos made for ‘new bloggers’ and ‘new YouTubers’ and all of them say: don’t do it for views, subscribers and fame. But then if you’re not doing it for those things, there are ways to have private and passworded blogs and unlisted videos that can only be viewed by people you give the link to.

Why is bad to want views? If I’m spending time and effort on creating and crafting a post that I publish, I don’t think I should be ashamed to want it to do well and hiding behind the facade that I’m writing for my own sake because I don’t think these things are mutually exclusive.

I love writing blog posts, I love writing and I love publishing my work on my little site – but I’m not going to be ashamed for wanting it to do well.

Thank you for reading,

Sophie xx

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