I am really nervous about writing this post, I just want to say that from the off.
Another disclaimer, if you like – first things first is I’m not officially diagnosed with anxiety, however I’m 90% sure that I do suffer from symptoms of anxiety and it’s probably that anxiety that tells me there’s a 10% chance that I’m just making a big fuss. (My friends have often reassured me that I’m not being melodramatic and I do have anxiety, I don’t know if this is helping or if I just sound like I’m just making excuses).
My anxiety flares up most when I’m in a situation I can’t escape – for example, being in a big crowd of people, being somewhere I don’t know very well or being in a situation where I could let someone down. Obviously that’s not an extensive list and often I feel anxious for no reason at all, but those are the times I notice it most.
In terms of panic attacks, it’s fear of not being able to escape and my chest gets tight, my throat feels like it’s closing up and no amount of air feels like enough, sometimes I shake and I sometimes get headachy too.
When I’m anxious I get really sound sensitive, even when I’m not anxious I don’t like loud, sudden sounds (concerts are fine, it’s just unexpected loud noises that sometimes cause me physical pain).
Depression is a very different matter and for me, I do get sad for no reason and it triggers my anxiety because I don’t know why I’m sad, but that’s something I may talk about in a different blog post but I don’t want to talk about yet. I also know that I am very susceptible to feeling high effects of stress, but this post is to talk about my anxiety.
I wanted to write this post because everyone’s anxiety is different and the more we raise awareness to the different symptoms, the more we can lessen the stigma around mental illnesses.
I have anxiety and the thought of saying that makes my stomach turn – and it shouldn’t.
Thank you for reading,