I picked up my school yearbook on Wednesday and I have been feeling a weird sort of nostalgia ever since – not in the sense that I want to go back, no way, I’m glad to be past school, but in a sort of fond way.
On tumblr I described it as “nostalgic not in a ‘I want to go back’ way but in a ‘that was a thing that happened and now that I’m passed it I can see it was a good thing and there were good times with good people and I’m happy about them’ and I’m really happy”.
I don’t think I can describe it better than slightly-past Sophie.
When I was in school, I felt completely surrounded, trapped even, by negativity and all the bad things that were happening to the extent that it was all I could think about but actually school was good. I had a variety of groups of friends and they all brought good things to my life, good memories and parts of my yearbook reminded me of that.
There was a section of the yearbook where people could submit school related photos (like trips and lunch time photos) and a collection of them were printed over a few pages in the book. I didn’t expect to be in more than maybe two or three photos but I might have been in eleven or twelve.
Don’t worry, I’m not vain nor insecure enough to actually count.
I only submitted one photo, as was asked of me but there were photos from people that I didn’t know valued me so highly and old memories that mean a lot to me but I hadn’t even considered they could mean as much to everyone else.
I suppose, in summary – I felt a little bit important when I was reading my yearbook. I wasn’t as invisible as I always felt – maybe I did have an impact on people; maybe I did mean something to some people.
It was a very strange day, but a good strange; a happy strange. I’m really happy right now and I’ve moaned enough when I’m sad to think I deserve to write about when I’m happy too.
This blog is meant to be a summary of what is going to be the biggest year of my life so far – I’ve got to document the ups as well as the downs.
Thank you for reading,
That’s where you’ll find me:
My GoFundMe Page for my trip to Ecuador: http://gofundme.com/iwz21w