This morning I had potentially my last ever dance exam – I took my advanced tap for the second time (I failed it last year, but I technically got enough marks I just failed one section so I failed the hole exam? It’s a stupid exam scheme) this morning, I had to be at the studio for 8am. What fun.
It was scary, it was the most nervous I’d ever been for a dance exam and I’ve taken enough of them in the sixteen years I’ve been dancing. I genuinely thought I might be a little bit sick when I went into the exam but I think (hope) it went a lot better than last time – the timing in the free time step was questionable but everything else was a lot better. Maybe it was because I was even more familiar with the syllabus, maybe it was because I took my exam with other girls rather than on my own or maybe it was because I was determined to pass this time, and if that means smiling so much my cheeks hurt and I feel pretentiously false, I’ll do it.
What no one will ever tell you, is that dance is incredibly hard when you have glasses. I spent half the exam forcing myself not to touch them while I was actually dancing but they’re so inconvenient. It’s hard enough being a tall, plus sized dancer to find leotards that fit but I should really have got something to help keep my glasses on.
But because I’m (hopefully) leaving home in September, whether it be for Uni or an apprenticeship, I will have to leave my dance school which is really sad, so I won’t be taking any more dance exams. Even if I was staying, I don’t know if I’d take any more exams because I’m not good enough and I don’t have enough stamina or flexibility but it’s still kind of sad?
So many of my dance friends are going off to dance school or to be dance teachers or will be auditioning for dance schools and I’m one of the only one’s that’s been dancing for as long as they have and isn’t going into a dancing career. I’d love to go into performing, whether it’s singing, presenting, whatever, but I’m not a dancer.
Today, I felt a little bit like one.
Thank you for reading,
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