Don’t worry, I’m not turning into a health freak. I’ve just been running two days consecutively and I wanted to talk a bit about my body and my shape and exercise and stuff.
When I was a kid, I was one of those tall, gangly girls who couldn’t quite control the end of her own limbs. I was skinny and nerdy and I had absolutely no idea what skinny jeans were (obviously). When I hit secondary school, my mum became less in-control of what I ate and how often I visited the cupboard to get myself a snack and almost instantly I put on so much weight.
I have exercised regularly in the seven years I’ve been at secondary school – I have danced in four different dance classes, I used to play netball and do athletics at school and I used to dance in school in shows and clubs. As I got older, I became more and more repulsed by sport – I chose dancing over netball and I was too lazy to take up athletics outside school and I sprained my ankle and missed a competition and I don’t think I was invited to the rest of the other competitions.
I used to be quite sporty, but I went off most things and even though I still dance I’m not skinny at all. And it really hit me recently.
I eat when I’m bored and when I’m stressed about school I convince myself that I can’t prioritise worrying about what I eat and my size but I was trying on clothes in my room, trying to find something flattering to wear. I couldn’t. I used to be able to find outfits that make me look like I’m skinny but I can’t cover it now – my tummy’s too big and my legs are too big and my arms always wobble. I can’t even mask the fat under my chin now.
I need to do something about it. If I did a little more exercise not only would I increase my incredibly low stamina but I’d lose weight and I’m going to cut out snacks and try to eat more healthily – I might go buy a watermelon that’ll do me for a couple of weeks.
I really want to lose some weight for when I see 5SOS (in less than two weeks!) and for my prom, which will be most of my school year’s last memory of me, to be honest. After I’ve lost some weight I might look into getting a personal trainer so I can tone up a bit.
I really want to be someone who enjoys eating healthily and likes exercising, but right now I’m not that person. Right now I am a person who’s started almost every paragraph with ‘I’ and is feeling incredibly hungry but can’t think of anything healthy to make for dinner.
If you got any health/exercise tips, please leave me a comment! It would mean the world.
Thank you for reading,
That’s where you’ll find me:
My GoFundMe Page for my trip to Ecuador: http://gofundme.com/iwz21w